Where is this freaking self-love coming from?

How many times did you ask yourself that question?

I did at least a million times.

I saw all these beautiful posts, mantras, affirmations, illustrations, quotes, poems, books and posters, and all I did was nodding my head and repeating after them – ‘oh yes, yes, I know… yes, I love myself, yes, I care about myself’ – over and over again.

Oh gosh, how they didn’t resonate with me.

Oh gosh, how they didn’t sound familiar to me at all.

The more I immersed myself into it, the more frustrated I was getting.

What is all about that self-love?

How one can freaking actually love themselves?

It simply didn’t click at all.

I felt at times, like either my mind didn’t get it, or I did something wrong, or simply – self-love doesn’t exist. It was all blurry-type of marketing fame and that was it all.

I was actually right, at least with the first part of my statement. My mind didn’t get it because self-love is not mind’s job. Period!

Honestly, anytime my mind started spinning its chatter, I seriously needed to seat with it and make sure it shuts up so I could do my thing.

I was also right with the second part of my statement, that I was doing something wrong.

I was actually doing everything upside down, and all over again. I got myself in such a bundle of wires and knots that there was no way to see it through. I got to that point that I needed to scream loud to ask for help. I was doing all of it wrong, including self-help tools I intenden to use.

Self-love is the easiest thing ever if we let it be!!!

Self-love, as the name indicates, comes from within. WITHIN!

Read that again. From inside of you!

It doesn’t come from artificial affirmations which someonetold us to use, and you have no clue even how to embody them.

Self-love doesn’t come from a million self-care practices, amazing spa weekends and red roses.

Self-love doesn’t come from being needy and expecting others to make you happy. How unfair is that!

So where is it coming from, huh?

Here is my answer:

I was looking for self-love in money and a great job. And it didn’t show up. I was looking for it in validation, cuddles and external love from boyfriends and it didn’t show up either. I was looking for it even in the healthy lifestyle industry, by being fit, eating well, looking sexy, desired and admirable…. Well, it didn’t show up in there as well.

The more I was ‘looking’ for, the more I was discovering that it may actually not exists.

The beautiful self-love, that one I truly desired, and wanted to be a part of my life, was nowhere to be seen.

How did I want the self-love to show up in my life?

  • I wanted to be depression-free so I could have life purpose to get up every day.
  • I wanted to be suicidal-thoughts-free so I could appreciate the gift of life.
  • I wanted to be bulimia-free so I could be grateful for the body which did so much for me every day.
  • I wanted to be self-hatred-free so I could freaking finally love myself.

Purely. Unconditionally. Confidently. Authentically. Joyfully.

It came to me.

It came in a form I would have never expected.

Oh, how sad and mad, frustrated and angry, disappointed and upset I was.

And at the same time, how relieved I felt. How happy, truly, purely, authentically and joyfully happy!

It came in the form of the love from WITHIN.

❤ The moment when I cried feeling sadness, but I sat with it to understand why I was sad.

❤ The moment when I was alone with myself and stayed there to experience who I was.

❤ The moment when I joyfully danced and jumped in the park knowing that this made my heart smile.

❤ The moment when saying ‘NO’ was a blissful experience.

❤ The moment when I saw my depression as a cry of my soul to be loved and appreciated.

❤ The moment when the most important relationship I wanted to nurture was with myself first.

❤ The moment when my childhood abuse memories were coming back and I thanked them for showing up.

❤ The moment when I rebuild the connection with my Inner Child and saw her pain caused by me.

❤ The moment when looking at my naked body wasn’t filled with willingness to self-violate anymore.

❤ The moment when I was literally apologizing for every part of my body for abusing it for so long.

❤ The moment when I got my first period after over 15 years of faking it and getting rid of.

❤ The moment when I enjoyed being braless because I finally loved my femininity.

❤ The moment when I became a friend with my pain, weakness and mistakes – being grateful for their teachings.

❤ The moment when I literally could touch, smell and even taste my own blood knowing that this is freaking me.

And that will be me. Until I die.

Did I want to treat myself and my Inner Child in the abusive way as I was abused in my past?

Did I want to waste my body, my soul and heart because I didn’t see it as it ‘should be’?

No. Not anymore.

I understood.

That was me. That is me. Whole. Unique. Myself. With my ebbs and flows. With my vulnerabilities and superpowers. Enough. Loved. Joyful.

Me. My body, my cycle, my blood, my creative being!

Me. Naked. Dancing. Braless. Beautiful. Blissful. Sad and happy.

All of it and even more. ME.

This is a pure love I was longing for all my life!

It came to me!

And I was ready for her!

I want to express here the deepest gratitude that most of it wouldn’t be obtained without the help of amazing coaches and mentors I had on the path to rediscovering myself and ‘finding’that love which was truly always here, within. With some of them, I worked in person, being a part of their programs and tribes, and some of them impacted me very powerfully via their books, materials, podcasts and self-expression viadifferent platforms. 
Zlata Sushchik, Melinda Collins, Samantha Skelly, ElizabethDiAlto, Claire Baker, Danielle LaPorte, Gabby Bernstein, Red School with Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer as the founders, Lisa Lister, and many more I haven’t listed, yet being so empowering on the journey to my own femininity.

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

Advertisements

Through bulimia to self-discovery

 

I was bulimic.

I hated myself.

 

Every day, I could see all the ads on self-love and overcoming eating disorders. Women of all sizes loving themselves.

‘How do they do that?’ – I asked myself every time.

 

‘What’s that hype about self-love?’

‘How does it work?’

‘What does it actually mean?’

‘How does that even feel to love oneself?’

 

I felt like I would learn the Chinese language faster than loving myself. I couldn’t picture the day when I could possibly like myself, all of it, the body, the mind, the life I had, all of it! I had an extremely hard time imagining this feeling.

 

I expected it to feel lightning, freeing, even fulfilling. Possibly expanding. Oh goodness, what should I do to maybe – just maybe – one day love myself? For just a minute, so I could experience that unconditional love to myself.

 

And…

that day came.

It was another extreme day with bulimia. Three times purging left my body weak again. It wasn’t new to me; it shouldn’t be new to my body either. The weakness kept me from being able to hold even a book. I felt exhausted. I felt tired. All I sensed was a pain in my stomach, a stabbing headache, and burning eyes. I couldn’t cry anymore.

I sat on the bed and looked in the mirror. I saw myself, overwhelmed, tired, and in pain. My skin was grey, my eyes were matte. There was not a single sign of life in me. A smile was foreign to my face. Joy was long forgotten. Compassion, kindness, and love didn’t exist.

I had no self-love.

I wanted to rip my skin. I hated my body badly. The hate in my eyes was the worst I have ever seen. I have never hated anyone in my life as I did myself right then, not even my abusive father.

That was a typical day for me, since I was a teenager, until…

 

A breath of my soul surfaced. A tiny tap on my shoulder told me to ask for help. I had no clue what to ask for, or how someone could help me.

 

But deep in my guts, I knew I won’t handle this anymore by myself. Deep down there I felt little voice asking me to seek help. That scared voice wanted me just to try, one more time. Ask!

‘I can’t do that anymore. Please help me, whoever is out there, please. I need help!!!” – I whispered.

 

And I went to bed.

Next couple of days were very ordinary. Today I know they were very special. Things felt on my lap unexpectedly. Not even remembering how and when anything happened, I was already filling in the application for the life coaching program.

 

I trusted.

The day when I had a call with the program coach, I knew that no matter what would I need to pay for it, or what effort would I need to make, I was already in. That was my chance! That was my help! That was the answer!

 

I trusted!

I started with learning about presence. Putting myself in the present moment to ‘just be’ was at first uncomfortable, yet interesting. I tried to meditate already two years before, but now the practice took me on a totally different path. I felt anxious, but I enjoyed it, more and more.

A connection between my body and mind started to emerge. I started asking my body what it likes to do and how it feels. Feeling into the visceral ‘yes’ and ‘no’ was a huge fun. I felt like a kid who just found a toy in the sandbox.

I began to recognize that it is okay to feel. Emotions were like clouds, they would come and they would pass. They didn’t identify me. I had never felt so relieved. I knew that it was safe for me to express my feelings. I tested it even in my daily life and it worked. I was so excited!

I was able to create a relationship between pain and joy, hurt and kindness, abuse and playfulness, anxiety and compassion, and fear and trust. What a combination. What a discovery – the pain was here for me to heal. The pain was here for me to learn. Triggers and fears were my teachers! At this point, I knew my life was already changed. I felt heavenly amused.

Being alone with my thoughts, emotions, and feelings was extremely transformational. Being alone was nurturing. Focused breath work was recharging. All those tools I had with me, all the time, and I never knew how to tap into the source and use them. I was capable of being, dreaming, loving, and forgiving.

It was exciting and anxious at the same time as I connected to my Inner Child. Memories from my abusive childhood were readily accessible, yet very scary. I blocked my memories from early age. Once I started discovering them, I wanted to run away at first.

I was in a huge pain seeing the hurt and pain of my mom and siblings. I was angry at my dad. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I couldn’t focus or meditate. I cried day after day. Forgiveness of him didn’t feel accessible, yet I knew in order for me to disconnect from the past I needed to let it go.

However, through that work, my patience and acceptance of those events and emotions had grown. I started healing. I realized that forgiveness would provide me with lightness, freedom, empowerment and unlimited beautiful energy.

So, I proceeded and I succeeded. I was very proud of myself to look into my dad’s eyes and not feel hate toward him anymore. I was so happy. I knew I can love unconditionally, even abuser of my childhood. I felt compassion like never before.

 

I felt reborn as a woman and Goddess, too. I became a woman who suddenly felt her body, sensed her emotions, desired sexual pleasure, expressed her true voice, exuded confidence and sensuality. I shifted from hating every inch of my body, vagina, and breasts to wanting to be naked. I wanted to dance, make love, and touch myself. I wanted to connect to every part of my body and express my love.

 

A little tap on my shoulder on that day started a beautiful and magical process of rediscovering my true self and uncovering my femininity. Vulnerability and sensuality became my superpowers.

 

There is a helpful hand waiting for you. You just need to ask for it and be open to receiving it.

Ask for it because you deserve it.

Ask for it because your voice, gifts and Inner Child deserve to speak up and live the beautiful life of alignment and lightness!

 

Be the love and light for yourself!  Be YOU!

❤️

The new approach to self-care

We all know what self-care is, don’t we? There are many blog posts out there to teach us how to take care of self by getting a new haircut, manicure, or even a bath with essential oils. We all like to take care of that beautiful appearance of our bodies, and that makes us feel worthy, wanted, loved and fulfilled.

However, the next day, when the haircut gets messy, and the beautiful aroma of the bath is gone, we come back to the realization of being unworthy, fearful, unconfident and wanting more from life. Where is that magical benefit of the self-care practices we just put so much effort (and money) into?

It’s gone. It is gone as anything else what treats the surface layer of the problem and never digs deeper. Why would we want to even dig deeper to discover that there is more to work on, maybe more painful and little less pretty?

Self-care is the care of self. And the ‘SELF’ consists of more than just the physical appearance and the body. Don’t take me wrong, it is very important to take care of the external body as well – we want to be fit, healthy, look pretty and attractive! It is actually necessary!

However, there is much more to it than we ever thought.

There are your mindset, your heart, and your spirit, which are craving your attention and a little bit of your time to get the care and nourishment you are giving right now to just the physical body!

I am talking about mental, emotional and spiritual self-care!

 

Today I would love to share with you why the other three layers of self-care are important and how to implement them in your everyday life!

 

Mental self-care

It is crucial to work on the mindset and self-talk in your life. Directing that mindset of yours onto the most positive and empowering path every single time is crucial for the wellbeing. The brain is the most flexible organ when it comes to training, rewiring and reprogramming its functions. The mindset is what creates your reality, and the thinking process is what will propel you to take actions you need to grow and progress in any area of your life.

Start today with daily affirmations and mantras. Catch yourself when thoughts are creeping in to tell you that you can’t do it and rewire them into the ones telling you that you are worthy and capable of doing it. Practice complimenting yourself every day, for every single thing you have or you did. Positive pep-talk is what will bring your mindset awareness of where you are headed to. Be mindful of how you talk about yourself to others, too.

 

Emotional self-care

Emotions and feelings are present in your life every day. There are no bad or good emotions. They are here to serve their purpose: to teach you, redirect your attention to another point or warn you about the upcoming events. It is very important that you give yourself the time to check in with your body and your emotions every single day. It is crucial to give your body the necessary care when it needs, especially when the emotions are very painful or overwhelming.

Practice that by starting your day with single-word body check-in: how do I feel today in my body? Once you recognize what it is that you feel, observe it, get curious why is it there. Don’t judge, rather ask yourself what you can do today to strengthen that emotion, honor it or make yourself feel better despite the pain. Journaling is a beautiful practice to let all of it go out of your mind and heart, pour it onto the paper during free-writing and distance yourself from it. Once that’s done you can see how your emotions don’t identify you, rather teach you some message or lesson. Be open to it, kind and acknowledge the fact that you are feeling them. Emotions are like the clouds on the beautiful blue sky.

 

Spiritual self-care

The spirituality is the connection with your highest self. It is literally taking care of being true and real, as the highest self would love to be. It is taking care of your deep needs; your alignment, lightness, freedom and what sparks your life every day. Without that deepest connection, the other layers of self-care will work for just a while until the spirit will scream for your attention again. Without the happy core which is your spirit, there is no happy heart, mind or body.

You can start doing that by meditation. However, what I found the most transformational for me is the simplest task on this planet. It is just laying down on the floor and doing nothing! As simple as that, yet extremely challenging. Stop thinking, planning, analyzing, judging. Put on hold even the emotions which you experience at that moment. Simply tell your brain and heart that right now there is a moment of silence and nothingness and just be. Another beautiful practice is the one I shared on my YouTube video, and that one is priceless! Trust me!!!

 

As you can see, the human being is little more complex than just physical body, its anatomy and physiology. It is a beautiful mind, heart and spirit and that makes you unique. The more you take care of all four layers of yourself, the more wholeness and worthiness you can bring into your existence.

 

How do you take care of yourself?

I would love to hear your ideas! Share them with us so we all can create beautiful routines and rituals for ourselves!

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

 

 

 

Celebrating as an act of self-care and self-love

When we think of CELEBRATION, the first thing coming up to our mind is the party for a friend or a family member who is at the important moment of their life or accomplished something amazing. We want to be with them to show them how proud of them and happy for them we are and cheer them on their path to the next level in their lives. Celebrations are always associated with joy, happiness, and fun, pride and accomplishment, success and breakthrough. That moments are always full of love, playfulness, lightness, creativity, laughter, amazement and beautiful things.

However, when I asked the question of what CELEBRATING YOURSELF means to you, there is a prolonged thinking, a break in the conversation, very curious eye expression and hesitation in the body. There is no straight answer, there is a missing answer or simply no answer at all. There is a difficulty in defining what that phrase could mean to that particular person or in general.

Why CELEBRATING YOURSELF creates so many doubts, hesitations and lack of ideas? Why is that actually something either weird or wrong? Why someone wouldn’t find time to do that for themselves?

 

“Every day should be a holiday to celebrate love.”

You celebrate others because you love them and want to show that love to them. You will find time to be for them no matter what, even if it is for just a while. You will shuffle things on your schedule to find a slot for the celebration of your friend and loved ones. You will be creative to find the perfect gift, prepare some food to share with others and dress nicely and festive. Would you do that? The answer is usually YES.

Do you love yourself?

Do you matter to yourself?

Are you worth some time of your schedule to get a break?

Would you like to get yourself a gift in any form?

Would you like to feel festive, loved, playful, joyful and creative?

The answer to those questions are the ones I would like you to give yourself today!

The simplest conclusion to help you out would be: You are love, you are loved and you are loveable. It is you who needs to see that the person you need to love the most is yourself. That person deserves celebration the same, or even more, as your friends deserve it, too. You matter to yourself the most and you should be the priority to yourself as well.

 

“I celebrate my accomplishments, no matter how small.”

“I celebrate my every tiny victory”

It is very important to understand the concept that celebration and appreciation start with tiny things in a daily life. It starts with being happy and joyful about the little victory, proud and festive about the little accomplishment, and playful and creative with the little achievements. It literally starts with being happy about choosing the smile in the morning rather than feeling miserable. It is to be celebrating the $5 gift card rather than wishing to have more money. It is about giving yourself space and time in the super busy schedule instead of projecting tiredness onto others.

It is your job to choose those little moments and things in your everyday life and create beautiful practices to celebrate them.

 

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey

The more you will celebrate those tiny things, the more of those tiny things will show up in your life. The more of those will show up, the more abundant and expanded your life will become. And then more will be to celebrate, Yeay! I touched on that topic more here. It is a simple, yet powerful concept to embrace and start utilizing.

“What you celebrate, expands.” – Danielle LaPorte

 

“Until further notice, celebrate everything.”

 “Toss some confetti in the air and celebrate.”

So today I invite you to create a list of things you could do to celebrate yourself. Write down, without much thinking, without any judgment and obstacles, all ideas which are coming up on how you could possibly celebrate yourself. What would you do for yourself to feel festive, proud, happy, joyful, rested, creative, accomplished, and light? What would spark your day? What would give you the feeling of accomplishment and motivate you to create more of it?

What I found out, many of you start with big things on the list like a day off, or a trip somewhere, or expensive clothes and then you get discouraged because you can’t do that, or it’s simply not possible. No. I ask you to create a list of small and joyful things such getting yourself flowers or candle, going for a midnight walk, getting the lunch by yourself while journaling. Whatever it is, make it pleasurable and manageable on a daily basis.

I give the six amazing ideas for every single of you to start using today in this video here. I went there with a really juicy content and you may want to listen till the end when I am giving the most beautiful, and brave at the same time, activity to celebrate yourself in the deepest way possible.

I encourage you to add some time to celebrate yourself because then that person who is YOU will feel very motivated, powerful and unlimited in creating of more in the life to be happy about, every single day!

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

The forthcoming “TRUE IDENTITY” book will be released in Summer 2018.

I am not enough! I am unworthy! I hate myself. IS THAT YOU?

I am happy for you today, though!

WHY? Hear me up!

As a beYOUtiful coach, I help women committed to finishing their struggle with any relationships in their lives; the romantic ones, the job-related ones, the family ones and the most important one, the relationship with themselves and their bodies.

I work with women who:

  • Don’t believe in themselves
  • Lost their worthiness
  • Feel that they are not enough
  • Are feeling tired of pleasing others
  • The worry of what others will say
  • Are afraid of judgment and rejection
  • Are feeling lost in their own lives
  • Have no clue who they are
  • Have no idea what they want to do
  • Can’t imagine how to move on
  • Are struggling with self-hate and self-love
  • Who has fear of not being loved
  • Have enough of the situation they are in
  • Who can’t imagine they may be successful.

Is this YOU?

When I started seeing that women who reached out to me were seeking the freedom, the lightness and alignment with themselves, feeling totally lost, miserable and stuck in their recent lives, I couldn’t help but interact with them.

I couldn’t help but hear their deep cries!

I wanted to find out what makes a woman, so many of us, feel unworthy, not enough, with no energy, drive, and motivation, despite the fact that every single of you could tell me today your dreams.

What makes you feel hateful towards yourself?

Why don’t you like your body, your actions, yourself?

Why don’t you see who you are?

Why don’t you believe you could write a book, run a company, have a loving partner and family, be happy as a single woman, or have plenty of non-toxic friends?

I hear you telling me:

  • ‘I hate myself, I can’t see myself in the mirror’
  • ‘I hate my body and how I look like’
  • ‘I can’t possibly do that’
  • ‘I am not enough’
  • ‘I never could do that so what does it make you feel I could now?’
  • ‘I am not smart enough’
  • ‘I don’t have resources to start up my business’
  • ‘I always date bad guys’
  • ‘I am not meant to have a family’
  • ‘My parents told me that I will never succeed’
  • ‘I am not confident at all and never will be’
  • ‘There is no way anybody can see me as attractive’
  • ‘I dieted all my life, I hate my body for what it does and how does it look like’
  • ‘I am so ashamed of myself’
  • ‘I can’t get naked in front of my partner’
  • ‘How can I love myself?’
  • ‘I never knew who I am actually’
  • ‘I need to always take care of others first and I have no time for myself’
  • ‘I don’t deserve that’
  • ‘I was always told to not be seen or speak up’.

 

I hear you!

I feel your pain!

I see your situation!

I imagine the struggle!

 

I am sad seeing the enormous beauty in every single of you, yet you hate herself.

I am sad seeing the strength in you, yet you feel totally weak.

I am sad seeing the opportunities for you, yet you don’t believe in yourself.

I am sad seeing the attractiveness in you, yet you feel unworthy of love.

I am heartbroken seeing you being stuck in the life you don’t even know how it happened.

I am sad because I know how that feels; being lost, self-hateful, heart-broken, abused and used, and not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It didn’t feel freeing at all. It didn’t feel empowering at all. It didn’t feel like there is anything in this life for me.

 

However, I am happy because I freaking know how much energy, power, strength, drive, and motivation you have.

I am happy because I know deep inside you are simply done with being where you are.

I am happy because I see the spark inside of you which just waits to be ignited.

I am happy because I know you are READY NOW!

I am happy because I know there is a way out for you!

There is the way out!!!!

 

This is your deepest SELF simply talking to you NOW.

This is the message from the Spirits, Divine, Universe and all Gods just for YOU!

 

beYOUtiful lady, you are ready!!!

Type “I am ready” and let’s rock this new life together!

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

P.S. beYOUtiful is ‘cooking’ something behind the scene. Her scientific mindset creeps in and she is so eager to experiment, create some mysterious mixtures and magical nectars. The vibrations in her ‘lab’ are powerful. The outcomes seem to be more and more beautiful. The mission is to bring to the surface unbelievable colors of the matter which is called ‘The True Identity’.

What is going on in there?

What’s behind the scene?

The energy created by the high vibrations of preparing something so beautiful and gentle, powerful and free, is giving me the biggest joy, I have ever experienced.

 

How to cleanse your soul through negative feelings?

My STRONG PERSONAL replay to the reaction on the post about being DOWN and MAD and SAD and HATEFUL….

 

“Do not think or act in a negative way because you are attracting negative energy”, “Be positive, everyone has problems so suck it up”, “you are beating yourself over it, don’t do that”. These expressions and others, and friends turning their back on you because you have a bad day and feel down so that means you are negative and NOBODY wants to be negative in this negative world on that negative social media timeline where everyone has problems and everyone is negative….

YOU KNOW WHAT? Take that “negative” word and put deep in the pocket and just stop seeing things as negative or positive, black or white!!!

My recent expression of being sad, mad, down and hateful towards myself brought up a lot of different responses from all my friends, dealing with sometimes extremely different life situations. YOU all have total right to feel that way, express yourself and BE YOURSELF.

Those reactions from others made me reflect a bit and now I want to tell you a little bit about it:

Yes, I was sad…. I was mad…. I was down and I was hateful towards myself. And I know I should be spreading love and smiles all day long every day, but THAT MORNING WASN’T FREAKING A GOOD MORNING!!! So what? THOSE WERE MY FEELINGS, and they were OK! I needed to express them out loud! I didn’t want to hold on them! I didn’t want to allow them to create my day, my attitude, my approach to other things which would follow after. And yes, I did want to changed them in a positive way into a positive outcome!!!

I KNEW ALL THESE THINGS!!! But, let me release it, let me be ME, allow to let those feelings go away…….

I am grateful for having those types of feelings, because they allowed me to learn how to recognize them, how to convert them in a positive way to create a great person, a great day and a great environment. I do love myself, I do believe in myself and I did forgive myself for that morning and for that moment of weakness and being down. I was just down!!!!

Hate is a strong word carrying lots of negative energy and I haven’t felt that for a long, long time. I was told by an amazing life coach to always love myself and forgive myself… but that didn’t happen that morning! Those strong emotions were deep inside of my soul…and whoever told me to stop and be kind and that my day will be bad because I am attracting the same emotions to me, was RIGHT…but somehow I couldn’t let go! I kept seeing those feelings as OK and at the same time as bad because “all my day will be bad” … and I didn’t want that….

As soon as I realized that, it popped out in my mind what another very powerful woman once said that negative feeling is OK!!!! OMG, are they really ok?

Yes, they are ok. WE ARE just HUMANS!!! We will have good days and bed days, we will feel happy, but we will also feel crappy. And that is OK!!! You as human being have right to feel bad, too. As soon as you recognize that feeling and you know that you don’t want to hold on them, it’s OK!!! Just do not let them create your world, your day, your attitude towards others and other things. It’s OK!!! I felt mad, and sad, I felt hate…it’s OK!!! I am just human! I forgive myself NOW!!!!

I promised myself that I will work around it and on it, but I will not promise myself it won’t happen again. Because I know negative feelings will happen, and I know those feelings are good, they are good in terms that they are cleaning whatever bad experiences and emotions accumulated in your body, mind, soul and heart. Just express them, let them be, recognize them, embrace them. Know, that they don’t belong to you. They are temporary. Let them sink in, do not fight them! Go back to your meditation, calming down habits and methods. Repeat: I WILL BE OK, I FORGIVE MYSELF!!!

PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED to sometimes be WEAK or make MISTAKES. And people are allowed to be different, it doesn’t make them “wrong” or “weird” …and even so…Yes, I can call myself weird, crazy, emotional, straightforward and to the point… and I can have bad feelings and down moment! That makes me just a better HUMAN because I know how to control them, how to work on them and how to make them work for me!

LESSON LEARNED: DO NOT go to bed with negative thoughts and negative mindset, do not go to face your day with negative thoughts and negative mindset. Take your time to shout out, cry out, calm down, journal, meditate, record your feelings, express your gratitude and self-love!!!

AND I am GRATEFUL for every single friend of mine who see me as perfect and imperfect person and they still love me, respect me, trust me, look up to me, appreciate me and be with me!!!

Its OK Izabelka !!

YOU got this beYOUtiful!!!! ❤

What we fear the most is what we need to do the most !

You probably know that the greatest enemy of productivity is procrastination. But have you ever thought deeper into the real cause of why we procrastinate? Is it laziness or mediocrity? I tend to believe that it is fear.

Fear is a very strong feeling that is caused by anxiety and anticipation of eminent danger, whether perceived or real. Although it is entirely natural, sometimes our fear is unrealistic and can hamper our achievements, say in public speaking or a job interview. Fear can affect how you enjoy life and can hold you back from doing things that you should do to improve your health or business.

Fear makes what we need to do seem like a daunting task. We fear that what we intend to do will not yield any results. We may call it fear of failure.

Take for instance you have gained weight, and you want to enroll in a fitness program, but you have left fear to halt you in your steps year in year out. You went to the doctor, and your blood sugar or high blood pressure keep soaring, but because fear has overwhelmed you, you have never taken action to get fit. Yet, taking that one step to enroll in a fitness program could save your life and reverse diabetes and hypertension.

What you fear most is actually what you need to do the most to salvage your situation. You could be in an abusive marriage, and you get battered every day. By speaking out, you could save your life. More so ignoring the fear to move out and starting a brand new life could give you renewed hope that life can get better rather than live with the fear of what people will say about your decision and die in the process.

So how do you break this fear? Is it even possible to completely be out of fear?

 

Understand what makes you afraid

What makes you afraid? Get to learn about the real cause of your fear. Identify the patterns and the triggers. You can record and keep a journal so that you understand it better. Doing this you will uncover the underlying problems that are behind your fear so that you can address it.

 

Face you fear and take action

If there’s anything that caps fear is action. If the step that you need to take is helpful and necessary, then take that step without hesitation. Don’t let an opportunity pass you by due to fear. Enroll in the course or program and let the rest follow.

Expose yourself to what you fear. For instance, if you fear to talk in front of a crowd, yet you need that to build your career, by all means, practice even if you have to fake it till you make it.

 

Get help

If your fear has gone overboard and derailed your growth, it is time to seek help from a counselor. Don’t fear to seek help.

Talking therapies and support groups where you meet and share with people who are experiencing the same can be therapeutic. You can also learn from their experiences, challenge each other and be accountable. You will discover that you are not alone as many people struggle with this.

While it’s perfectly normal to experience fear, we can control our attitude to it and still take the right step regardless of the fear. No one is immune to fear. Even musicians get engulfed with stage fright before they hit the stage, but they head out nonetheless.  Don’t let fear stop you from doing what you need to do.

 

Remember, success is on the other side of fear.

http://beyoutiful.fit

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

“One person can make a difference and everyone should try”…

“One person can make a difference and everyone should try” John F Kennedy

Don’t tell me the wisdom in these simple words doesn’t stir something in your belly? The charismatic young president who left too soon coined this memorable statement. Even in his death this statements still speaks to the male or female, young or old. It has no expiry date.

Many a time we find ourselves in scenarios that make us feel helpless. Biting thoughts, conflicts within and without. One might ask, “What am I supposed to do?” “This is too big for me” “Will I look foolish if I do this or mention that?” Does this sound familiar? I bet it does. You know what? It’s okay to be overwhelmed by all this. However, the difference is what you do with this thoughts and ideas. When you run John F Kennedy’s statement through your mind, you will realize that you’re a part of a greater whole human race.

As I was thinking about this, my mind wondered through some of the historical figures that made an impact in their countries and the world in general. For instance, John F Kennedy’s concern was about the young people taking up responsibility of service to their countries. Another great mind said “it is better to try and fail than not to have tried at all.”

Below are some lessons that I learnt from Kennedy’s message that you should learn too.

Practice What You Preach

It is easy to let the fear of failure plague our minds. But here is the thing: even great men and women make mistakes. John Kennedy blundered when he minimized the challenges and threats of the Cold War.

On the other hand, he was quick to learn from a failed meeting with the Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev. He rectified this by using his three C’s: charisma, charm and confidence. What’s more facts reveal that if he hadn’t changed his way of thinking it would’ve lead to bloodshed.

Furthermore, this change in attitude had Kennedy turn another ugly situation, between the Russians and Cuba, into a peaceful compromise. Kennedy practiced what he preached. I don’t know about you but this challenges me to put into practice what I value. I’m re-evaluating the things that could make a difference, for instance taking into consideration the feeling of others towards things and situations.

In a nut-shell I now practice assuming a selfless attitude towards sharing knowledge. I speak out what I know on subjects such as fitness and its importance and help others embrace that as well..

And guess what, I get to be influenced as I also influence others.

Start from somewhere

Believe it or not the hardest part of doing anything is starting out or taking the first little step. You may have had it said, “the end of matter is better than the beginning thereof.” It complements John F Kennedy’s quote on making a difference. It is not the big things that I do that make a difference.

Simple things such as helping an elderly person cross the road. Visiting a children’s home and helping out in one way or other. Putting a smile on a child’s face sometimes has more reward than can be pegged on temporal things. You needn’t take my word for this but there is an inexpressible peace in doing these simple acts. Try it for yourself and see how that goes for you.

The point is …

We all can’t be presidents or be in the limelight. However, if we embrace our positions well we end up affecting positively, the lives of those around us.

Don’t wait for the red carpet to be rolled out in recognition for what you do.

I have learnt along the way the more I give of myself the more I retain.

Confusing? It shouldn’t be.  Try it for yourself then you’ll understand the strength in, “One person can make a difference and everyone should try.”

http://beyoutiful.fit

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤