Soul-inspired “habits”.

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I am a recovering addict from “personal development world”.

I have been in this ‘addiction’ for a few years so far. Definitely at the beginning, just like any addiction, it was fun, exotic, refreshing and oh gosh, how inspiring and opening the doors to a wider and broader, and even more adventurous, world!

However, the more I was getting swept into it, the more side-effects I could see.

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Don’t take me wrong. Every one of us is on the different level of personal growth and on a different page in our book called “Life”. I believe I wouldn’t be here without being ‘there’. I believe that we are in the place where we are because of the circumstances and experiences we lived through.

So today personal development and self-help have a totally different meaning & connotation to me than in the past.

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There is no universal ‘definition’ for those. You take it as you feel is right for you!

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For me, personal development got to the point where I felt rather restricted, limited and kind of paralyzed rather than actually growing. Some aspects made me cringe, others made me back off, so I started exploring. I knew there is something there for me to explore.

Why didn’t I feel inspired, empowered and growing anymore, as I used to?

Just like people ask me why don’t I workout obsessively, diet restrictively and live the fitness lifestyle I used to.

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I just simply outgrown all of that!

Here is my thing. The force, restrictions, rules, shoulds, expectations, resistance, obsession, push through, work hard, sleep less, and hustle just DO NOT work for me anymore. Artificial vision boards without actual feelings behind don’t mean anything to me. Wake up early, work late nights, don’t sleep – it is just a big no-no for me.

And that’s me!

Even though the definition of “development’ is: the process of developing or being developed; and the synonyms are: evolution, growth, maturing, expansion, or progress; I still prefer today to use the term “personal growth” or blossoming and blooming.

Today that self-work for me is oriented around how I want to feel while accomplishing my desires, what makes me feel lighten up, and how I can see and also create more abundance in my life.

  • It is about feeling in alignment with my values and priorities.
  • It is about feeling true with my actions.
  • It is being in peace with my decisions.
  • It is about knowing that ‘no’ is ‘no’ and ‘yes’ is ‘yes’.
  • It is about saying ‘hell yes’ when I am ready for.
  • And saying ’heck no’ to create healthy boundaries.
  • It is about being in a creative mode, without rush, rules or attachment.
  • It is about letting go of what doesn’t serve me.
  • It is about being in flow with my energies.
  • And it is about freaking rest, sleep and taking it at the pace which is right for me, not for the world.

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Today I would like to share with you the list of soul-inspired ‘habits’, ‘action steps’, or simple personal commitments to myself (whatever name you resonate with).

  • To have a pure, quiet, grounding and filled with gratitude time for myself and my soul in the morning and in the evening before bed.
  • To have a screen-free hour before bad to prepare my brain and body for the deserved deep rest.
  • To dance every day to move energies through and feel joyful.
  • To read and/or write poetry to feed my soul.
  • To walk to nature and connect with it in order to feel grounded and as a part of the Mother Earth.
  • To detox from social media at least a couple of days a week to create more space for my own thoughts, inspirations, inner voice, and emotions.
  • To have tea or kakao ritual to feel celebrated, acknowledged, and expensive.
  • To read a book and listen to the podcast which feed my heart, soul, and mind rather than make me fall into the comparison/anxiety trap.

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Those make me feel empowered, expensive, hopeful, grateful, passionate, and inspired. Those truly fill my wholeness with love, kindness, expansion, compassion and sacredness.

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What would be your soul-inspiring ‘action step’ you could set up for yourself?

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LOve ❤️❤️❤️

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YOU CAN WATCH MORE ABOUT THIS on my YouTube channel in the beYOUtiful episode #23!

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The Food and Workout tracking experiment – what an AHA-Moment!

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I haven’t tracked any food or workouts for 16 months!

SO WHAT? What’s the big deal?

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It is a huge deal once I tell you that I was bulimic and anorexic, had an obsessive approach to workouts and was tracking every pinch of salt or cinnamon!

That 16 months ago, I hit a wall. I was extremely tired and sick physically, ready to be hospitalized due to extreme bulimia. I seriously couldn’t hold a single meal. All due to the obsessive and distorted vision of my own body and of how I “should” look like to be loved, admired, appreciated and perceived as an amazing trainer or coach!

I tracked every single pinch of spices, salt and measured EVERYTHING obsessively for over 4 years (and when I couldn’t measure, I either didn’t eat or I purged to not track it). I tracked all activities, including workouts, calories burned, including cleaning, sex and who knows what, so I could subtract that from eaten food.

Pretty sick, isn’t it?

How did I manage to break that pattern? In this case, already a mental disorder?

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Imagine the situation when you hit the wall not the first time, but maybe 10th or 50th time and you are simply too tired, too sick and too depressive to keep going. Yet there is that “tiny, little, silent, almost not possible to hear” voice keeping you at the level of “let’s try, one more time, pleaseeeeeee”.
I hit that exact moment!

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In my book “The True Identity” [publishing Summer 2019] I wrote:

“November 2017, a day that started just like any of the others. (…) After yet another purging incident I went to a room where there was a huge mirror. For the last couple of months, I had avoided mirrors, hating what I saw. I didn’t know what made me look on this particular day but the image I saw this time wasn’t the extra small ‘fat’ girl but a person who was full of hatred, more hatred than anyone on this planet should be carrying.

The hate in my eyes was unbelievably huge. Words couldn’t fully express the view I saw.

(…) I have never seen my eyes in such deep darkness. They gazed straight at me and didn’t want to give up until I felt the hurt, they were showing me. They didn’t blink, holding me to the deep darkness of hate they expressed. The lightning coming from them was blinding me. They reminded me of how hateful I was. How ugly of a person I was. How worthless, miserable and pitiful I was.

I wanted to turn my head away from the image I saw. However, I simply couldn’t as someone was holding my head and telling me ‘look at yourself, look at who you have become, think about who you will be if you keep going along this path’.

My body tensed, my hands and fingers squeezing so hard that my knuckles went white. My fingers became impatient, wanting to start scratching my skin. I wanted to hurt myself, feel the pain on the physical side of it. I wanted to rip my skin away and keep scratching until I bled.

On that day the most magical phrase came out of my mouth.

‘I need help. I can’t do this by myself. Please help me’.

I cried as I realized that my stomach hurt. I was still hungry and I kept thinking that I shouldn’t eat anything anymore. I cried because deep inside of me I knew this is not the way it should be. I knew, in my heart, that this was not the true me. Deep inside of me, I knew, I had a mental eating disorder and that I could be cured.

I knew that there was no pill for it. The need for external validation, approval or feeling loved was not being helpful either.

The first thing I needed to do was to decide that enough is enough. Then I needed to ask for help.”

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So, fast forward, 16 months later, after not tracking a single spoon or sip of any food, I pulled up the app and … started again.
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But wait. This time I did it fully conscious, after thinking about it for a few days. I wanted to do it NOT for the sake of restricting my nutrition or putting myself back again in that mental, deprivation, restriction and obsessive mindset!

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I wanted to do that to test – myself, my ability to listen to my body, to see how my inner wisdom is guiding me and how that entire ‘tracking’ thing will make me feel.

**** Don’ take me wrong. I ask and encourage and even start the nutritional coaching with my clients from tracking. For the sake of building the awareness around what kind of food goes into their bodies, what type of foods are in their programs, what to eat and buy, and what foods make them feel bad or energized. It is also a way to create the habit of being aware of healthier food choices. However, I always make sure it is not getting into the obsessive addiction when my clients feel that they ‘need to’ or ‘should’ track because otherwise their worth is diminished. That is not the case and I monitor that closely! ****

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And AHA-MOMENT came with that experiment!

  • I felt pissed off at first – how come the app and the device tell me what MY body needs and how MY body should eat?
  • Then I felt scattered and little confused as for how the algorithms in these apps are made to create the ‘perfect’ calories in-and-out plan so people can follow it and feel better or.. worthy – that was not what I wanted the app to tell me! That is now what the app’s role is anyways!
  • Additionally, I ignored the app. According to it in the middle of the day, when I was hungry and wanted to give my body healthy foods, the app told me to stop because I was having too much of that and too little of that. Oh well, I turned it off and followed the wiser wizard I have ever known – MY BODY!

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At the end of the day, I know that tracking taught me something and that it’s not anymore my thing.

It taught me:

  • Discipline
  • Awareness around foods and nutrition
  • Consistency
  • Perseverance
  • Commitment
  • Creating a daily habit to journal.

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It is not anymore my thing because:

  • I listen to my body more
  • I feel what my body needs
  • I am aware of my healthy choices
  • I am very tuned in to my body
  • I am aligned and confident with who I am
  • I am confident with my food choices
  • I am into health, not restrictions
  • I know my worth
  • I don’t need an app to tell me all of the above!!!!

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And after you read this blog, all I want YOU to get out of it is that YOU too can live that way.

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Because I believe that restrictions, deprivation, obsessions, dieting, over-training and seeking external validation of self-worth never worked and will never work.

Until one taps within their own bodies and create the lifestyle where the authentic wellbeing, with physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health, is the priority.

No app, no diet, no magic pill, no wrap, no quick fix are the solutions. At least not sustainable.

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Your job is your choice!
My job is to bring awareness to the world and to YOU!

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I talked about that on my beYOUtiful Show episode #22. So worth to listen!
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P.S. I am so grateful for that experiment and that realization!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Do you know what it means to protect your energy?

** It means putting your experience, feelings, and happiness before others’ (which can be hard for people pleasers).

** It means being more aware of the relationships and dynamics in your life.
It means spending your time with those who respect your boundaries, time and self-care.

** It means spending your time with people who light you up, appreciate you, help you grow, and bring out the best in you.

** It means to nurture your wellbeing (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) before others’.



“` If you have people in your life who are toxic, and you consistently feel depleted after spending time with them – set boundaries and stop sacrificing your energy and happiness for theirs.

“` If you are committed to the situations, events, and actions which drag you down and make you feel less than, set the boundaries, create the safe space and protect your happiness and energies!

—- If it feels good and calm on your soul and heart, it’s good for your energy. —-

—- If it’s depleting and dragging, it’s bad for your energy and you need to change or shift things ❤️ —-

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Let me share the story with you:

For the last couple of years, I have been experiencing and feeling more like introvert, an empath or highly sensitive person. For the person who used to be very outgoing, social and extroverted, that felt very uncomfortable at first. And it didn’t stop right away.

One day, one of my energy healer (for your info, I am supported today with the spiritual coach, energy healer and practitioner, naturopath, period and natural fertility coaches, and therapist) indicated that I need some protection.

‘Protection from what?’ – I asked.
‘Protection of your energies and aura from everything you are taking on’ – she replied

Then she went on explaining how being a highly sensitive person and empath and serving others, we tend to take lots of people’s energies, emotions and charge they carry onto us, without realizing that. Until we find ourselves in the emotional hole, where we feel depleted, tired, exhausted and even unmotivated or depressed.

It totally made sense to me!!!

I always was a sensitive person, who wanted to care for everyone. When I saw a homeless person, I cried. When I saw a poor person, I was giving all my lunch. When I saw a clean lady, I was the next day bringing my clothes for her kids. I truly cared and care a lot

And I truly take a lot on me, because I want to help…

…because I want this world to be better, kind, loving!

So after that, I started studying what being an empath and highly sensitive person means. And how I can protect myself as that person.

There are many tools out there, including books, blogs, videos and I am one of them sharing these with you today as well.

Today I use few tools. I do NOT use all of them at the same time, not even during the same day. I use what calls my name and what feels like it’s going to help me. I developed them, brought them into my life or adopted from others, just as I was connecting and working with myself.

Use your own body, heart, and intuition, and chose what YOU feel resonating with. Most importantly, use what makes you feel coming back home and being safe after you apply some of the tools you chose for self.

And I invite you to explore! Exploration and curiosity are the best companions to rediscovering our authentic welling and true identity.

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Tools I use:

Cord Cutting and Grounding practice.

This is the simplest practice which can be done ANYWHERE, even in public or in the car. It brings you back right to the spot where you are and disconnect from anything what affected your aura at that moment. Highly recommended!! I adopted that from my spiritual women’s coach Elizabeth DiAlto. She has that amazing practice on her website here: https://wildsoulmovement.com/energy-hygiene/

Meditation and Breathing practice.

This can be done within a couple of minutes to a longer time, as you need. Go with your own needs and feelings. If you need some silent moment when you breath deeply, do it. If you just want to do some breathing with minor stretches, do it. If it feels like guided meditation, go for it. If it feels like an hour silent sitting, do it too. Or maybe calming music with deep breathing and grounding. Whatever it feels like, it is your body which dictates how much of a help it needs. Listen to it and give it to it, It will thank you soon after!

Prayers, affirmations and mantras.

This can be used with your own preferences too. Prayers, I believe, are not limited to any religion or church. I believe that every time we surrender, ask for help and simply talk to the Highest Self, the Universe or any other animated energies of this world (use your own names, whichever resonate with you) – we pray. If praying makes you feel not comfortable, use affirmations and mantras when you need it. Talk to yourself in the most kind and compassionate way – imagine talking to a little kid in front of you!

Salt baths and showers.

After very draining day, when I truly feel depleted, I do salt bath or shower. For bath I use 2-4 cups of table or Himalayan salt. The Epsom salt is great for physical issues and muscle soreness, but not much energetical cleanse. When I take shower, I use sea salt soap (get some from truly a great organic source). I clean the palms of my hands and bottoms of my feet, as these are the entry and exit of so much energy, as well as the solar plexus area (between your breast and belly button) – this spot truly is a huge connector to all energetical things happening around us. This time could be also a great time to ground yourself by doing some breathing, maybe calming music or simply dancing. Whatever feels great for you!

Sage and Palo Santo cleanse.

I use these for clearing the space around me. It is a very ancient way of clearing the energy around us and within us. When I have time, these accompany other practices, to help cleanse what I cut cords with. As well as create the safe and energetically clean space for the rest of the time, for instance before calls with clients or creative work. It seriously can be done anywhere. You can purchase the sage or Palo Santo sprays and use those on-the-go. I love their smell and I use it every single time I have access too, which is.. daily!

The sage/Palo Santo I am using I get here: https://www.groveandgrotto.com/

Salt.

Yes, you read it right. Salt is the best element (crystal, rock) to use in any way to clear the space around and to protect yourself as you go with your day. Sprinkle the threshold of your home to prevent the negativity entering your home. Sprinkle corners of your rooms, your altar or put some under the meditation pillow. Put some into a little bag and place it in your car, purse or wallet. Use for baths, drinking water and washing hands. Yes, just like that!

Protection mojo bag.

Create your own mini bag to carry with you or have it in places where you get exposed to many different energies the most. Get some little black fabric (cotton or other natural preferable), and place there some salt crystals, smoky or clear quartz crystal, some bay and rosemary leaves, juniper berries, and sprinkle with rosemary or oregano essential oil. Use some black ribbon, wrap it up and there you have it, a great mini-protection tool for yourself!

The salt products, herbs, and crystals can be found: https://www.groveandgrotto.com/, http://www.herbsandarts.com/ & https://www.mountainroseherbs.com/

Essential oils and herbs.

I did plenty of studies to find out what herbs I could use to either burn in my caldron, or drink in my tea or simply place on my altar or in my mojo bag. I found that rosemary, bay leaves, juniper berries, cilantro, clove and oregano are the ones to use.

The same goes with essential oils (which I use either topically in coconut oil, as aromatherapy, or as spray dissolved with Witch Hazel tonic). The ones I am using are from doTerra (https://www.doterra.com/US/en/site/izabelachrobak1):

Birch, Cilantro, Clove, Rosemary, Vetiver, Myrrh, Frankincense, Lemongrass, Melaleuca;

and blends: Purify, Balance, and Past Tense.

I hope that this very compact and complete list of the tools for energetical cleansing and protection will serve you.

I hope that you will find something that resonated with you and can help you in the process of creating space which feels safe and at home, whenever you need it!

I am curious if you have some of your personal practices. I would love to hear about them!

Write it in your comment or DM on my Instagram @authenticwellbeing or in the private FB women’s space Authentic Wellbeing (join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/AuthenticWellbeing/).

Disclaimer: I am receiving commission only on essential oils (once the provided website is used), all other stores I deeply and honestly suggest due to the high quality of service and products (I personally use them frequently).

I talked about this in the beYOUtiful Show episode #19 🙂

Love ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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2018: The year of pure transformation and life-changing lessons.

I was about to start this blog with a very plain title “The teachings of 2018”.

However, I thought that I’ll start with these life-changing conclusions first and elaborate on them next:

1. Slowing down is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of huge personal responsibility and strength.

2. Choosing differently every day is the most powerful tool ever.

3. Love is for free – you don’t need to do anything for it, you don’t need to work for it either!

Footnotes:

1. Boundaries are crucial.

2. Know your fears even the most shameful ones.

3. There is light in a tunnel, but you need to ask for help first and keep walking.

Conclusion:

I am ME, just the way I am and I will never be able to make everyone happy around me. Even if tried, I could end up making myself miserable before others and they are still not going to be happy.

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The biggest awakening came in my relationship, where I am still learning what unconditional love is. I dreamt about it since I was a little girl, yet never had any clue that one day I will be purely afraid of it. The fact that someone can love me for just who I am, without me needing to work for it, do things in return, become someone else, or fake it till I make it – is mind-blowing.

Love is for free. FREE.

And it comes from every angle of the life – no need to chase it, no need to be approved for it, no need to look for. No need to be different, too!  

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I learned how to say NO, set healthy boundaries and secure my own space for my own self-care and sanity. All done in the most loving way possible. Was everyone ok with that? NO, of course not. And that was totally fine with me.  

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I also learned that the only thing I am truly capable of doing is to make myself happy without expecting others to do it for me. It is just not fair to do so.

I started this year with fighting with extreme bulimia and depression. I wanted to be well. I knew that it’s out of my integrity to coach others battling with such disorders yet being affected myself so deeply. I needed to see the light in the tunnel… which I couldn’t for a long time. The help could come only when I asked for.

I understood that I have a free will, and nobody is going to cross that border unless I permit them to do so. This when “I need help” came out of my mouth and when it was delivered. Was is fast? Not at all. I learned in my life that things which are meaningful need real and affectionate work, with love, compassion, and acceptance. And all will happen at its own pace!

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This brings me to December this year when I decided to step back, slow down and rethink a lot of things in my life, especially my business, job, mission and life purpose. It was hard at first because I, as many of you, was wired to hustle, advertise, promote, chase and work hard for every single penny and client.

It was one of the most wonderful lessons to learn that slowing down is actually an act of strength and integrity.

I’ve never put something on social media that wasn’t sincere. If I’m having a bad day, I don’t say much. Because privacy is part of authentic wellness. And because I’m committed to offering hope- and love-bringing content. I go through the issue, I learn from it, I bring out the lessons from it and then I share it. I am a guide and teacher.

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Last, but not the least, is that I recognized the deepest fears of mine. Even writing them here makes me feel still ashamed and little uneasy. But I know how sharing them may help me and some of you who can resonate.

I am afraid of being happy, loved and successful.

Yes, I am. I didn’t realize until the end of this year how manipulation, procrastination and self-pity are huge in my life. I use them to protect myself in the most ‘artificial’ way. My ego feels safe when it’s in control. Experiencing pure love, happiness and success wasn’t in my cards in the past. When I see the huge opportunity for them in any form, my mind panics and retract. It feels afraid! And it does anything to not feel that way!

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Today I know that in 2019 my major goal will be to step out of that comfort zone and experience what’s meant for me!

That means – self-trust is the theme for next year!

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So, cheers to the 2019!!!

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  • What is your theme for 2019?
  • What are your lessons from 2018?
  • What are your goals for 2019?
















I am HERE. I am NOW. I am
ME. ❤



Enjoyment of the moment

 

“WHEN I STAND BEFORE GOD AT THE END OF MY LIFE, I WOULD HOPE THAT I WOULD NOT HAVE A SINGLE BIT OF TALENT AND TIME LEFT, AND COULD SAY THAT I USED EVERYTHING YOU GAVE ME, GOD!”

– Erma Bombeck

 

“I want to be happy in my life!”

 

That’s the most repeated phrase after “I love you”. Happiness is that ONE thing we all chase and long for. The happiness has as many faces as people on this planet.

 

As I sit on my pillow, my hand writes down one of the most beautiful words, which seemed like a cry of my soul. The happy cry, the aha-moment cry, the Eureka cry – the realization cry of what happiness is for me.

Today I share with you that deep, vulnerable and empowering desires!

 

“I truly want to be happy in my life!

I don’t want to do what doesn’t spark me.

The last few weeks of hustling to post the most inspiring words on social media, following all other inspiring coaches and women, comparing myself to others just made me feel very fearful, miserable, unhappy, not present and not appreciative of what I have right now in my life.

I realized that the hustle may not be for me.

The rat race and money chasing may totally be out of my life or happiness definition.

 

It hit me how much I want to organically inspire, motivate, help and be of service to others, just be being the truest version of myself.

 

And, I also want to enjoy life! I truly do.

I want to enjoy time with my partner instead of being stressed about not doing enough.

I want to enjoy the healthy food and have fun with it instead of being miserable and obsessed with my body image.

I want to enjoy the movements of my body, workouts, and dance instead of punishing and hurting my body.

I want to be healthy and fit and go places instead of being overstressed and frozen in the hustle mode.

I want to enjoy the cozy, loving and safe place and home instead of chasing huge and cold villas.

I want to enjoy my garden full of herbs and nature instead of feeling that this is a waste of time.

I want to enjoy doing new things and build memories with my fiancée and friends instead of being a workaholic.

I want to connect with people on a personal level instead of being fake and copy-monkey social media guru.

I want to enjoy small groups meetings and retreats where true connection, magic, love, self-expression, and beautiful transformations happen instead of hiding from the overwhelm of this world.

 

I want to feel happy and proud of myself at the end of the day. I want to know that I did everything in all my abilities to love and be loved. I want to be content knowing that my time was very well spent with all I have. I want to live being appreciative of my life every second.

 

I want to give it a time – a time to listen to myself, a time to hear what the Universe has to say, a time to flow with what it’s meant for me.

I want to focus on my emotions, body, and cycle.

I want to be appreciative of every moment.

I want to express love every day.

I want to be in the flow.

I want to just be, in the present moment

And I want to be patient to be able to see and feel what lights me up. “

 

What does happiness mean to you? ❤