Where is this freaking self-love coming from?

How many times did you ask yourself that question?

I did at least a million times.

I saw all these beautiful posts, mantras, affirmations, illustrations, quotes, poems, books and posters, and all I did was nodding my head and repeating after them – ‘oh yes, yes, I know… yes, I love myself, yes, I care about myself’ – over and over again.

Oh gosh, how they didn’t resonate with me.

Oh gosh, how they didn’t sound familiar to me at all.

The more I immersed myself into it, the more frustrated I was getting.

What is all about that self-love?

How one can freaking actually love themselves?

It simply didn’t click at all.

I felt at times, like either my mind didn’t get it, or I did something wrong, or simply – self-love doesn’t exist. It was all blurry-type of marketing fame and that was it all.

I was actually right, at least with the first part of my statement. My mind didn’t get it because self-love is not mind’s job. Period!

Honestly, anytime my mind started spinning its chatter, I seriously needed to seat with it and make sure it shuts up so I could do my thing.

I was also right with the second part of my statement, that I was doing something wrong.

I was actually doing everything upside down, and all over again. I got myself in such a bundle of wires and knots that there was no way to see it through. I got to that point that I needed to scream loud to ask for help. I was doing all of it wrong, including self-help tools I intenden to use.

Self-love is the easiest thing ever if we let it be!!!

Self-love, as the name indicates, comes from within. WITHIN!

Read that again. From inside of you!

It doesn’t come from artificial affirmations which someonetold us to use, and you have no clue even how to embody them.

Self-love doesn’t come from a million self-care practices, amazing spa weekends and red roses.

Self-love doesn’t come from being needy and expecting others to make you happy. How unfair is that!

So where is it coming from, huh?

Here is my answer:

I was looking for self-love in money and a great job. And it didn’t show up. I was looking for it in validation, cuddles and external love from boyfriends and it didn’t show up either. I was looking for it even in the healthy lifestyle industry, by being fit, eating well, looking sexy, desired and admirable…. Well, it didn’t show up in there as well.

The more I was ‘looking’ for, the more I was discovering that it may actually not exists.

The beautiful self-love, that one I truly desired, and wanted to be a part of my life, was nowhere to be seen.

How did I want the self-love to show up in my life?

  • I wanted to be depression-free so I could have life purpose to get up every day.
  • I wanted to be suicidal-thoughts-free so I could appreciate the gift of life.
  • I wanted to be bulimia-free so I could be grateful for the body which did so much for me every day.
  • I wanted to be self-hatred-free so I could freaking finally love myself.

Purely. Unconditionally. Confidently. Authentically. Joyfully.

It came to me.

It came in a form I would have never expected.

Oh, how sad and mad, frustrated and angry, disappointed and upset I was.

And at the same time, how relieved I felt. How happy, truly, purely, authentically and joyfully happy!

It came in the form of the love from WITHIN.

❤ The moment when I cried feeling sadness, but I sat with it to understand why I was sad.

❤ The moment when I was alone with myself and stayed there to experience who I was.

❤ The moment when I joyfully danced and jumped in the park knowing that this made my heart smile.

❤ The moment when saying ‘NO’ was a blissful experience.

❤ The moment when I saw my depression as a cry of my soul to be loved and appreciated.

❤ The moment when the most important relationship I wanted to nurture was with myself first.

❤ The moment when my childhood abuse memories were coming back and I thanked them for showing up.

❤ The moment when I rebuild the connection with my Inner Child and saw her pain caused by me.

❤ The moment when looking at my naked body wasn’t filled with willingness to self-violate anymore.

❤ The moment when I was literally apologizing for every part of my body for abusing it for so long.

❤ The moment when I got my first period after over 15 years of faking it and getting rid of.

❤ The moment when I enjoyed being braless because I finally loved my femininity.

❤ The moment when I became a friend with my pain, weakness and mistakes – being grateful for their teachings.

❤ The moment when I literally could touch, smell and even taste my own blood knowing that this is freaking me.

And that will be me. Until I die.

Did I want to treat myself and my Inner Child in the abusive way as I was abused in my past?

Did I want to waste my body, my soul and heart because I didn’t see it as it ‘should be’?

No. Not anymore.

I understood.

That was me. That is me. Whole. Unique. Myself. With my ebbs and flows. With my vulnerabilities and superpowers. Enough. Loved. Joyful.

Me. My body, my cycle, my blood, my creative being!

Me. Naked. Dancing. Braless. Beautiful. Blissful. Sad and happy.

All of it and even more. ME.

This is a pure love I was longing for all my life!

It came to me!

And I was ready for her!

I want to express here the deepest gratitude that most of it wouldn’t be obtained without the help of amazing coaches and mentors I had on the path to rediscovering myself and ‘finding’that love which was truly always here, within. With some of them, I worked in person, being a part of their programs and tribes, and some of them impacted me very powerfully via their books, materials, podcasts and self-expression viadifferent platforms. 
Zlata Sushchik, Melinda Collins, Samantha Skelly, ElizabethDiAlto, Claire Baker, Danielle LaPorte, Gabby Bernstein, Red School with Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer as the founders, Lisa Lister, and many more I haven’t listed, yet being so empowering on the journey to my own femininity.

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

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Through bulimia to self-discovery

 

I was bulimic.

I hated myself.

 

Every day, I could see all the ads on self-love and overcoming eating disorders. Women of all sizes loving themselves.

‘How do they do that?’ – I asked myself every time.

 

‘What’s that hype about self-love?’

‘How does it work?’

‘What does it actually mean?’

‘How does that even feel to love oneself?’

 

I felt like I would learn the Chinese language faster than loving myself. I couldn’t picture the day when I could possibly like myself, all of it, the body, the mind, the life I had, all of it! I had an extremely hard time imagining this feeling.

 

I expected it to feel lightning, freeing, even fulfilling. Possibly expanding. Oh goodness, what should I do to maybe – just maybe – one day love myself? For just a minute, so I could experience that unconditional love to myself.

 

And…

that day came.

It was another extreme day with bulimia. Three times purging left my body weak again. It wasn’t new to me; it shouldn’t be new to my body either. The weakness kept me from being able to hold even a book. I felt exhausted. I felt tired. All I sensed was a pain in my stomach, a stabbing headache, and burning eyes. I couldn’t cry anymore.

I sat on the bed and looked in the mirror. I saw myself, overwhelmed, tired, and in pain. My skin was grey, my eyes were matte. There was not a single sign of life in me. A smile was foreign to my face. Joy was long forgotten. Compassion, kindness, and love didn’t exist.

I had no self-love.

I wanted to rip my skin. I hated my body badly. The hate in my eyes was the worst I have ever seen. I have never hated anyone in my life as I did myself right then, not even my abusive father.

That was a typical day for me, since I was a teenager, until…

 

A breath of my soul surfaced. A tiny tap on my shoulder told me to ask for help. I had no clue what to ask for, or how someone could help me.

 

But deep in my guts, I knew I won’t handle this anymore by myself. Deep down there I felt little voice asking me to seek help. That scared voice wanted me just to try, one more time. Ask!

‘I can’t do that anymore. Please help me, whoever is out there, please. I need help!!!” – I whispered.

 

And I went to bed.

Next couple of days were very ordinary. Today I know they were very special. Things felt on my lap unexpectedly. Not even remembering how and when anything happened, I was already filling in the application for the life coaching program.

 

I trusted.

The day when I had a call with the program coach, I knew that no matter what would I need to pay for it, or what effort would I need to make, I was already in. That was my chance! That was my help! That was the answer!

 

I trusted!

I started with learning about presence. Putting myself in the present moment to ‘just be’ was at first uncomfortable, yet interesting. I tried to meditate already two years before, but now the practice took me on a totally different path. I felt anxious, but I enjoyed it, more and more.

A connection between my body and mind started to emerge. I started asking my body what it likes to do and how it feels. Feeling into the visceral ‘yes’ and ‘no’ was a huge fun. I felt like a kid who just found a toy in the sandbox.

I began to recognize that it is okay to feel. Emotions were like clouds, they would come and they would pass. They didn’t identify me. I had never felt so relieved. I knew that it was safe for me to express my feelings. I tested it even in my daily life and it worked. I was so excited!

I was able to create a relationship between pain and joy, hurt and kindness, abuse and playfulness, anxiety and compassion, and fear and trust. What a combination. What a discovery – the pain was here for me to heal. The pain was here for me to learn. Triggers and fears were my teachers! At this point, I knew my life was already changed. I felt heavenly amused.

Being alone with my thoughts, emotions, and feelings was extremely transformational. Being alone was nurturing. Focused breath work was recharging. All those tools I had with me, all the time, and I never knew how to tap into the source and use them. I was capable of being, dreaming, loving, and forgiving.

It was exciting and anxious at the same time as I connected to my Inner Child. Memories from my abusive childhood were readily accessible, yet very scary. I blocked my memories from early age. Once I started discovering them, I wanted to run away at first.

I was in a huge pain seeing the hurt and pain of my mom and siblings. I was angry at my dad. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I couldn’t focus or meditate. I cried day after day. Forgiveness of him didn’t feel accessible, yet I knew in order for me to disconnect from the past I needed to let it go.

However, through that work, my patience and acceptance of those events and emotions had grown. I started healing. I realized that forgiveness would provide me with lightness, freedom, empowerment and unlimited beautiful energy.

So, I proceeded and I succeeded. I was very proud of myself to look into my dad’s eyes and not feel hate toward him anymore. I was so happy. I knew I can love unconditionally, even abuser of my childhood. I felt compassion like never before.

 

I felt reborn as a woman and Goddess, too. I became a woman who suddenly felt her body, sensed her emotions, desired sexual pleasure, expressed her true voice, exuded confidence and sensuality. I shifted from hating every inch of my body, vagina, and breasts to wanting to be naked. I wanted to dance, make love, and touch myself. I wanted to connect to every part of my body and express my love.

 

A little tap on my shoulder on that day started a beautiful and magical process of rediscovering my true self and uncovering my femininity. Vulnerability and sensuality became my superpowers.

 

There is a helpful hand waiting for you. You just need to ask for it and be open to receiving it.

Ask for it because you deserve it.

Ask for it because your voice, gifts and Inner Child deserve to speak up and live the beautiful life of alignment and lightness!

 

Be the love and light for yourself!  Be YOU!

❤️

The path to redefining and rediscovering the love in my life

“If you don’t believe in love, what’s the point in living?” -Ron Swanson

 

I remember the beginning of the journey to so-called ‘self-love’. The task was to tell myself twelve times the affirmation “I love myself”. To made this more profound and actually working, I was supposed to be looking at myself in the mirror, straight into my own eyes. All was supposed to happen after I woke up, so no other thoughts were in my mind yet.

The task was easy in its description, yet it was the hardest one I have ever endured. Or at least tried.

You may ask me, ‘did it work”?

‘Is this why you are now so self-loving?’

 

Unfortunately, not.

That task was extremely hard to perform and follow through. The entire process felt heavy on my heart. I became more resentful, and actually more resistant every day. The more I was repeating these words, the more disbelieving I felt.

  • I started doubting the actual task and its effects.
  • I was wondering how other women managed to go through it and get to that beautiful place of self-love.
  • I doubted the affirmations itself, too.

 

Today, I believe that affirmations work, but only when they are aligned with your core desired values.

I believe that before we start repeating the affirmations, we need to evaluate our core desired values first. It is crucial to see and feel what you are actually craving the most… and what it is that needs your attention the most.

 

I started asking myself the questions, which I invite you to ask yourself today, too:

  • What did you love doing as a kid?
  • What do you crave in the life?
  • What comes so naturally to you and it flows with an ease?
  • What matters to you the most?
  • What sparks your heart and brings a smile on your face?
  • What do you stand for?
  • What you can’t tolerate at all?
  • What are you VERY CLEAR that you DO NOT want in your life?

 

The clear list of things I truly desired and things I knew deep inside of my heart that I never wanted to deal with was a start point to start talking to myself in a more kind, positive and loving way.

That core desired feelings allowed me to see what I wanted to commit to in my life.

The clear and pure desires were the foundation to set up the self-love on.

 

I knew what I wanted in my life.

I didn’t know HOW to get that, yet. But ‘how’ wasn’t important then. The most important thing was to rewire my mind onto the path of affirming beautiful words and beliefs to myself.

 

So, I started by telling myself:

‘I may not love myself yet, but I am on the path to living the life where accepting and liking my body will be natural and easy.’

‘I may not know how to nurture myself yet, but I am totally on the path to start with small self-care practices and see how they make me feel.’

 

I kept telling myself that phrase that ‘I am in the process…’ every day the entire day and everything was getting easier. I knew what I desired and now I was collaborating with my own mind.

My mind was very happy by these conversations, and all affirmations felt compatible with what I truly wanted in my life. I spontaneously was choosing better actions and steps throughout the day and that felt so amazing.

Constant dialog with myself that I was in the process of becoming the highest version of myself lightened me up and motivated to keep doing what I was doing.

More and more beautiful things started falling into place. There were bumps, but it became easier to walk through them. There were pains and tears, but acceptance was something that I was choosing then.

 

Today I know, that I would never ever change the trajectory of my own journey towards self-love. I know that the best gift I could ever give myself is true, deep and sparkly self-love I have to myself now.

 

I know that there is not a better gift than the guidance to self-love that I could give to anybody I care about.

 

*** How did your journey to self-love look like?

*** How does this journey look like right now?

 

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

The road to the unknown

 

One year ago, I was on the road from New Mexico to Wyoming. I was in a moving truck with all my life squeezed in there. Many things got sold or left behind, though. Material things didn’t have much meaning to me at this point in my life.

I didn’t know yet that soon my life was going to change totally!

And all I could do was to trust that all would be well.

I trusted so much that during the 12-hour drive I didn’t hesitate for a second about my decision. There was no single thought of turning back. I knew I was driving to a new me, to a new life, and to new experiences.

I trusted fully!

 

You may ask me, what has changed?

And this is my answer.

 

Depression is my history.

I recall being depressed and suicidal over the last 15 years, with some extreme ups and down. I never knew that in order for me to overcome this disorder I needed at first to feel safe – safe to be, safe to cry, safe to be down, safe to express what I feel!!! Once I felt the safety in every single cell of my body, the awakening came. I realized that I was loved for who I was because it felt safe. It felt loving, too.

The dark thoughts, self-doubts, and fearfulness may still be present – but the way I react to them today is a totally new game. I observe when they come, how they show up, how dark they are and how cloudy my brain gets – I see them and I refuse to let these experiences control my life.

Emotions are OK.

Pain is my superpower.

I accept it, I love it and I don’t push it away. I know they are all here to teach me how to be a better person every day.

I learned to rest and recharge instead of allowing darkness to overtake me.

I learned to take a nap, instead of going into a self-hateful thinking pattern.

I learned to journal or meditate when I am sad or in pain, so I can cry and cry and feel amazing about expressing all of it!

I learned to pause or even step back when it feels heavy.

I learned that it is only me who has a choice of either being happy or miserable.

So, I remind myself every day that I am loved, safe to express and be, beautiful and whole, worthy and freaking unstoppable. I trusted then and keep trusting today!

 

My personal growth journey went through so many huge shifts that one year ago none of it was even in my dreams.

I was battling severe bulimia, extreme panic attacks, and the biggest obsession over the weight, food and exercising and that saddened me. It felt like it would never end and that there is no hope. Yet, every single time I was experiencing any of it, I managed to look at myself in the mirror and remind myself that there is a way out of it.

It was the hardest part of my entire journey – to believe and trust in something that logically didn’t seem like it was ever coming. I had no clue how that would look like or show up. But I knew I could be free of all of these things. I knew that many other women got there, so I could too!

I trusted, and that trust brought me to the freedom and the most beautiful life so far! Freedom from obsession over food or body-image, freedom from panic attacks, freedom from bulimia and freedom from the fear! I trusted then and keep trusting today!

 

The interpersonal communication and the way it’s done was a huge turn over in my life.

I was told by a few of my ex-partners that I don’t know how to love and how to communicate in the relationship. That’s why I believed that all my relationships didn’t work because I was a problem.

How mistaken I was. I allowed other’s insecurities and inabilities to be projected on me and I took it as my own stories and beliefs.

All I needed was to feel safe. Again, safety was my thing. Once I discovered that being safe is the happy place for me and my Inner Child, then the magic started pouring down from the sky.

Without a person who supported me on this journey by meeting me half-way, that wouldn’t be possible. Creating the safe, non-judgmental and open space for both of us allowed me to blossom. Once that started, I could show how loving and caring of a person I was.

After all, I never thought I could have a relationship like this – trustworthy, respectful, safe, loving, supportive, open and honest!

 

Acceptance of my emotionality, sensitivity, vulnerability, sensuality, and desires was a great step forward.

Oh well, let me tell you – those qualities never aligned with me – they felt weak, whiny, and not allowed in the big world of success. That girl was all about being powerful, never weak and never crying, strong and doing it all by herself!

Well, that is not true today and I am so glad to take that mask off and reveal the true person.

I felt like an outsider or from a different plant, as I called myself.

I could easily become distracted.

I could feel melancholy for no particular reason.

I could feel other people’s emotions intensely.

I could easily take on the mask of Wonder Woman or Femme Fatale to “fit in” in a society that hasn’t appreciated my intuitive ways.

I knew I was super emotional, with extreme waves even during a single day.

I am a nurturer, caregiver and I cry when I see bad things happening to any human being, including homeless or junkie.

I am sensitive as hell, and that is another superpower of mine.

And I freaking love that about me today. I don’t buy into the story of being too sensitive or PMS. I learned to be with all my emotions, the dark and light ones.

I learned to tap into my vulnerability and use it as the most creative and empowering tool I ever had. I decided to reconnect with my intuition and inner voice so I could be the truest version of myself.

 

The last, but not the least, is my rediscovery of the part of me which I managed to suppress for the longest – the femininity and woman in me.

I hated being a woman for most of my life. I wanted to have the testosterone to build muscles, I didn’t want to be a crybaby when someone hurt me, I wanted to be a buddy for most of my men friends, I wanted to be treated as a strong person. No vulnerability, sensitivity, tears or whining were allowed. I was happy for not having a period for most of my life while being on the pill. I used the PCOS diagnosis as a relief so I didn’t need to get pregnant. I wanted to hide my hips and breasts. OMG, I could list these things forever.

Today, that part of me seems to be the most mysterious, magical and hiding so much more to learn, express and live by.

Today I track my period which came back in January 2018. I am excited when I am bleeding because that means I am a woman, still or again, whichever way I look at it.

I am excited to be with the moon outside and soak in the energy of the beautiful Luna.

I am happy doing self-massage, dance to hot and sexual music or meditate naked to love every part of my body.

I would never imagine being at this point just a year ago!

 

Life is beautiful, with every single moment of it – either emotional and sad, or happy and joyful, either with heavy experiences or lightness and breakthroughs.

The number of gifts that life delivers to us within such a short time just like one year – it is truly beyond the imagination of the logical mind. Only the heart and soul can embrace that!

So, I do it, every single day. And I trust!

 

 

The new approach to self-care

We all know what self-care is, don’t we? There are many blog posts out there to teach us how to take care of self by getting a new haircut, manicure, or even a bath with essential oils. We all like to take care of that beautiful appearance of our bodies, and that makes us feel worthy, wanted, loved and fulfilled.

However, the next day, when the haircut gets messy, and the beautiful aroma of the bath is gone, we come back to the realization of being unworthy, fearful, unconfident and wanting more from life. Where is that magical benefit of the self-care practices we just put so much effort (and money) into?

It’s gone. It is gone as anything else what treats the surface layer of the problem and never digs deeper. Why would we want to even dig deeper to discover that there is more to work on, maybe more painful and little less pretty?

Self-care is the care of self. And the ‘SELF’ consists of more than just the physical appearance and the body. Don’t take me wrong, it is very important to take care of the external body as well – we want to be fit, healthy, look pretty and attractive! It is actually necessary!

However, there is much more to it than we ever thought.

There are your mindset, your heart, and your spirit, which are craving your attention and a little bit of your time to get the care and nourishment you are giving right now to just the physical body!

I am talking about mental, emotional and spiritual self-care!

 

Today I would love to share with you why the other three layers of self-care are important and how to implement them in your everyday life!

 

Mental self-care

It is crucial to work on the mindset and self-talk in your life. Directing that mindset of yours onto the most positive and empowering path every single time is crucial for the wellbeing. The brain is the most flexible organ when it comes to training, rewiring and reprogramming its functions. The mindset is what creates your reality, and the thinking process is what will propel you to take actions you need to grow and progress in any area of your life.

Start today with daily affirmations and mantras. Catch yourself when thoughts are creeping in to tell you that you can’t do it and rewire them into the ones telling you that you are worthy and capable of doing it. Practice complimenting yourself every day, for every single thing you have or you did. Positive pep-talk is what will bring your mindset awareness of where you are headed to. Be mindful of how you talk about yourself to others, too.

 

Emotional self-care

Emotions and feelings are present in your life every day. There are no bad or good emotions. They are here to serve their purpose: to teach you, redirect your attention to another point or warn you about the upcoming events. It is very important that you give yourself the time to check in with your body and your emotions every single day. It is crucial to give your body the necessary care when it needs, especially when the emotions are very painful or overwhelming.

Practice that by starting your day with single-word body check-in: how do I feel today in my body? Once you recognize what it is that you feel, observe it, get curious why is it there. Don’t judge, rather ask yourself what you can do today to strengthen that emotion, honor it or make yourself feel better despite the pain. Journaling is a beautiful practice to let all of it go out of your mind and heart, pour it onto the paper during free-writing and distance yourself from it. Once that’s done you can see how your emotions don’t identify you, rather teach you some message or lesson. Be open to it, kind and acknowledge the fact that you are feeling them. Emotions are like the clouds on the beautiful blue sky.

 

Spiritual self-care

The spirituality is the connection with your highest self. It is literally taking care of being true and real, as the highest self would love to be. It is taking care of your deep needs; your alignment, lightness, freedom and what sparks your life every day. Without that deepest connection, the other layers of self-care will work for just a while until the spirit will scream for your attention again. Without the happy core which is your spirit, there is no happy heart, mind or body.

You can start doing that by meditation. However, what I found the most transformational for me is the simplest task on this planet. It is just laying down on the floor and doing nothing! As simple as that, yet extremely challenging. Stop thinking, planning, analyzing, judging. Put on hold even the emotions which you experience at that moment. Simply tell your brain and heart that right now there is a moment of silence and nothingness and just be. Another beautiful practice is the one I shared on my YouTube video, and that one is priceless! Trust me!!!

 

As you can see, the human being is little more complex than just physical body, its anatomy and physiology. It is a beautiful mind, heart and spirit and that makes you unique. The more you take care of all four layers of yourself, the more wholeness and worthiness you can bring into your existence.

 

How do you take care of yourself?

I would love to hear your ideas! Share them with us so we all can create beautiful routines and rituals for ourselves!

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

 

 

 

What does self-discovery mean to you?

[this entire text is an excerpt from my book “The True Identity” which is going to be released this Summer, 2018 – stay tuned here]

I would like to tell you that you are on the journey to the world of yourself every single day. It is a beautiful journey of self-discovery. The journey when you get to see what your true potential, power, strength, and identity is.

 

What does the self-discovery actually mean to you?

Have you thought of it for a minute?

 

Self-discovery to me is the realization of who I am and why I am.

It is the deep feeling of my own value, beauty, and worthiness without questioning it.

It is the moment when external approvals and validations are not needed anymore because all that I need I can give it to myself.

Self-discovery for me is reconnecting with deep roots of my being, with my Inner Child and all that she needs and feels.

It is the magical moment of being present, recognizing my body’s and soul’s desires and acting on them.

It is being in alignment, peace and flow with the nature of my true identity.

 

It sounds deep and very poetical. You may ask, do you truly believe that, Izabela? Is this just a metaphor or a real feeling? Who actually can achieve that state of mind, body, and soul?

 

My answer is clear, yes, I do believe in what I wrote. Moreover, I do believe even more that you truly can accomplish this state, too.

We choose every day what we want to do, how we want to act, and who we want to feel like. You can choose differently every day.

You can choose to feel peaceful, worthy and beautiful. You also can choose to feel tired, unworthy, and not enough.

You can totally go out to the world choosing to be confident and expensive or hide away from your true voice.

You can choose to be playful, joyful and happy that day, or miserable, disappointed and angry.

You can have fun with even the most unbearable task, choosing to act upon your intuition and self-trust, being in flow with your core values, what you want to create and how you want to feel. Or you can choose to drag it over days and weeks, make yourself sick and reject everyone around you, or block any ways to solve the problems by seeing the only negative outcome.

 

I could list the life scenarios like that over and over.

 

We all got the same life, the same time and the same free will and right to choose. It is a powerful tool which you are holding in your hands right now and every moment!

 

It is your choice every single day.

It is your choice to choose differently.

It is your choice to keep discovering yourself every day!

 

Your Mantras:

I can choose differently every day.

I choose happiness, joy, and playfulness.

I choose worthiness.

I chose to be confident and beautiful today.

I choose ____________.

 

[this entire text is an excerpt from my book “The True Identity” which is going to be released this Summer, 2018 – stay tuned here]

 

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

Once upon a time…… – the childhood memories of mine!

*** What made you happy when you were a kid? Find out and do that now. Seriously, go. Now.  ***

 

Someone recently said that whatever you were doing, effortlessly and joyfully, as a kid, that might be the clue to who you really are, who you want to be and what you truly want to do in your life. That could be your true passion!

Finding passion is not an active act of searching for, scrolling down million of pages, stalking others and copying the most successful person. Passion is something what you were born with, what you innately have within you and the only action you need to make now is to tap inside of you, listen and follow it.

But the question many of us have is how to do that?

My first response to that question is by simply giving yourself space and time to silence yourself, listen to that voice within you, feel and see what sparks you up.

 

However, to help you out little more, I would love to share this story with you.

 

As a kid, little Izabelka, I loved sacred moments, space and rituals. My mom told me that praying, going to the church, reading books and chanting them in the little corner in the bedroom, while kneeling and creating a little ritual around it was my thing. I could spend the entire afternoon by simply being with myself and spiritual beings. Whom I was talking or chanting to, nobody knows. What I was feeling and experiencing, nobody knows as well. Not even me. But I definitely loved it.

In meantime, I was a very responsible person of others and myself. I took good care of my younger siblings already at age of 3. I was quiet and peaceful. I was extremely kind and super helpful. I was serving others until I saw their happiness and smile. Because their smile was giving me the smile on my own face.

Since I remember, I lived my life by the saying ‘treat others as you want to be treated, love others as you want to be loved, be kind to others as you want to be kindly perceived, be honest as you want others to be trustworthy.’

I was extremely smart and humble. I was sensing others feelings and was very quickly ready to help them. I was an empath and sympathizer. The hurt, unfairness, and abuse to others were hurting my heart, too.

I loved flowers so much! I loved candles. I had my own altar, too.

 

The more I look at that Little Girl, the more I understand my life passion and purpose now.

There is nothing else more beautiful, magical and enlightening to me than helping others. There is nothing more nurturing than seeing others beautiful souls blooming and expanding. There is nothing more joyful than creating the world changes I want to see at every corner of this planet. There is nothing more aligned with me than being kind and loving to every human being, no matter the circumstances. There is nothing more freeing than loving people just the way they are. Because everyone is good at heart, and I always believed that. I always saw that in everybody’s eyes, no matter how dark they appeared at first.

There is nothing more lighting me up than the true, real, raw, vulnerable, and authentic self. The true identity of all of you. The one we innately have within.

 

This how I discovered who I really want to be, how do I want to live my life and what makes my soul feel at best. The feeling of being aligned with my highest purpose and myself.

 

Who did you want to be when you were a child?

How did that manifest in your adult life?

What did you dream of?

Did you follow your passion?

How does that look like to you now?

How would that look like if you were to follow it?

 

There is something truly magical happening when we tap into the childhood memories and connect with the Inner Child. There are so many answers there. There is the entire guide book there for us, accessible at any time and for free!

 

How do you feel now?

 

I love you, beautiful soul!

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

 

 

 

 

DANDELION

so elegant and graceful

letting the sunshine flow through you

 

so beautiful and attractive

spreading the love with your little wings

 

so light and free

sending the joy by your  little angels

 

so delicate and vulnerable

yet embodying your powerfulness

 

so transparent and authentic

sharing your beauty in the world

Dandelion is the best representation and embodiment of the values which I share with the world in my transformational, spiritual and empowering work. The values that I had in my mind while writing my book. The values that I keep in my mind when I am creating the content for you. The values which are embedded in my soul when I am serving you. The values which warm my heart every time when I share love and care with you.

 

This beautiful plant and flower express the deepest set of my values which I would love for you to be the embodiment of yourself, too.

 

Vulnerability and delicateness

Transparency and forgiveness

Authenticity and openness

Gracefulness and elegance

Freedom and spaciousness

Alignment and peacefulness

Lightness and softness

Beauty and gentleness

Powerfulness and unlimitedness

Calmness and stillness

Love and energy

Uniqueness and wholeness

Value and worthiness

 
I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

 

Letter to my Inner Child

Dear Izabelka,

Dear my beloved Inner Child,

 

I wanted to start with the words of apologies and then words of appreciation!

 

I want to apologize for abandoning you for all my life.

I want to apologize for not hearing your voice, your scream and begging to be saved, protected and loved.

I want to apologize, from the depth of my heart, for not seeing your innocent beauty.

I want to apologize for being blind and deaf to your presence.

I want to apologize and beg for your forgiveness today.

 

Because today I realized how scared you’ve been. I can see how lonely you’ve been all the life despite me being so close. I know I left you behind, like the most cold-hearted person, and refused to listen, hear and feel you. I admit that I lived as a one-minded person who tried all her life to dismiss the deepest emotions of yours. I am aware of how zombie-like life I was creating without incorporating you in it. I apologize Izabelka.

 

I am so grateful that you are still with me.

I am so grateful that I came back home and recognized your presence.

I am so appreciative for reuniting with the biggest love of mine, you.

I am so happy I could see how scared you were and provide you with safety, we both so needed.

I am thankful to see how much you’ve been craving love and start giving it to both of us.

I am so happy you are with me!

 

You are the bravest and the strongest woman I have ever met!

How wonderful is that to share the life, love, magic and the beauty with you!

I love you to the moon and back! ❤

 

I promise to never ever leave you alone.

I promise to never ever leave you unprotected and insecure.

I promise to never ever leave you unloved.

 

Yours forever,

Izabela

‘I just want to tell you that you are safe.’ as soon as I said that, she hugged me again on my hips and I could hear her little and quick breath of relief. Her body relaxed and she kept holding onto me. It appeared to me as she wanted to stay with me. So, I decided to be there just for her. ‘You are safe’.  She repeated ‘I am safe, I am safe, I am safe.’

[excerpt from my book “True Identity” – Summer 2018]

The letter to my body

Dear Body,

I want to start with telling you how sorry I am for who I was to you throughout last 36 years of our life.

I am sorry for seeing you as a shame, not wanting to even look at you in the mirror.

I am sorry for seeing you as fat after giving you only a little salad or stuffing you with only coffee the whole day.

I am sorry for expecting you to not be swollen, itchy or yellow-skinned after feeding you with sugar loaded crap and processed food.

I am sorry for always wanting to exchange you for something better than you were.

I am sorry for putting you through the pain of constant starvation, dieting, and purging.

I am sorry for not recognizing how amazingly you worked for me every single day without any injuries and major health issues.

I am sorry for not being content with you even after the super heavy workout routine, which didn’t leave you happy at all.

I am sorry for being disgusted by you.

I am sorry for hurting you physically.

I am sorry for using you in ways I feel ashamed of now.

I am sorry for feeling only negative emotions towards you.

I am sorry for always seeing other bodies better than you.

I am sorry for crying as soon as I saw you naked, not happy about what I saw.

I am sorry that I made myself so unhappy in you.

I am sorry for hurting you so deeply despite the love you gave me since I was born.

I am sorry…

and these apologies are the hardest I have ever expressed.

 

However, the appreciation I have today for you is unlimited.

The promise I have for you today is going to change everything.

I always wanted to be loved! You loved me unconditionally all the time.

I never did.

 

The promise is that….

I love you and will always do!!!!