Where is this freaking self-love coming from?

How many times did you ask yourself that question?

I did at least a million times.

I saw all these beautiful posts, mantras, affirmations, illustrations, quotes, poems, books and posters, and all I did was nodding my head and repeating after them – ‘oh yes, yes, I know… yes, I love myself, yes, I care about myself’ – over and over again.

Oh gosh, how they didn’t resonate with me.

Oh gosh, how they didn’t sound familiar to me at all.

The more I immersed myself into it, the more frustrated I was getting.

What is all about that self-love?

How one can freaking actually love themselves?

It simply didn’t click at all.

I felt at times, like either my mind didn’t get it, or I did something wrong, or simply – self-love doesn’t exist. It was all blurry-type of marketing fame and that was it all.

I was actually right, at least with the first part of my statement. My mind didn’t get it because self-love is not mind’s job. Period!

Honestly, anytime my mind started spinning its chatter, I seriously needed to seat with it and make sure it shuts up so I could do my thing.

I was also right with the second part of my statement, that I was doing something wrong.

I was actually doing everything upside down, and all over again. I got myself in such a bundle of wires and knots that there was no way to see it through. I got to that point that I needed to scream loud to ask for help. I was doing all of it wrong, including self-help tools I intenden to use.

Self-love is the easiest thing ever if we let it be!!!

Self-love, as the name indicates, comes from within. WITHIN!

Read that again. From inside of you!

It doesn’t come from artificial affirmations which someonetold us to use, and you have no clue even how to embody them.

Self-love doesn’t come from a million self-care practices, amazing spa weekends and red roses.

Self-love doesn’t come from being needy and expecting others to make you happy. How unfair is that!

So where is it coming from, huh?

Here is my answer:

I was looking for self-love in money and a great job. And it didn’t show up. I was looking for it in validation, cuddles and external love from boyfriends and it didn’t show up either. I was looking for it even in the healthy lifestyle industry, by being fit, eating well, looking sexy, desired and admirable…. Well, it didn’t show up in there as well.

The more I was ‘looking’ for, the more I was discovering that it may actually not exists.

The beautiful self-love, that one I truly desired, and wanted to be a part of my life, was nowhere to be seen.

How did I want the self-love to show up in my life?

  • I wanted to be depression-free so I could have life purpose to get up every day.
  • I wanted to be suicidal-thoughts-free so I could appreciate the gift of life.
  • I wanted to be bulimia-free so I could be grateful for the body which did so much for me every day.
  • I wanted to be self-hatred-free so I could freaking finally love myself.

Purely. Unconditionally. Confidently. Authentically. Joyfully.

It came to me.

It came in a form I would have never expected.

Oh, how sad and mad, frustrated and angry, disappointed and upset I was.

And at the same time, how relieved I felt. How happy, truly, purely, authentically and joyfully happy!

It came in the form of the love from WITHIN.

❤ The moment when I cried feeling sadness, but I sat with it to understand why I was sad.

❤ The moment when I was alone with myself and stayed there to experience who I was.

❤ The moment when I joyfully danced and jumped in the park knowing that this made my heart smile.

❤ The moment when saying ‘NO’ was a blissful experience.

❤ The moment when I saw my depression as a cry of my soul to be loved and appreciated.

❤ The moment when the most important relationship I wanted to nurture was with myself first.

❤ The moment when my childhood abuse memories were coming back and I thanked them for showing up.

❤ The moment when I rebuild the connection with my Inner Child and saw her pain caused by me.

❤ The moment when looking at my naked body wasn’t filled with willingness to self-violate anymore.

❤ The moment when I was literally apologizing for every part of my body for abusing it for so long.

❤ The moment when I got my first period after over 15 years of faking it and getting rid of.

❤ The moment when I enjoyed being braless because I finally loved my femininity.

❤ The moment when I became a friend with my pain, weakness and mistakes – being grateful for their teachings.

❤ The moment when I literally could touch, smell and even taste my own blood knowing that this is freaking me.

And that will be me. Until I die.

Did I want to treat myself and my Inner Child in the abusive way as I was abused in my past?

Did I want to waste my body, my soul and heart because I didn’t see it as it ‘should be’?

No. Not anymore.

I understood.

That was me. That is me. Whole. Unique. Myself. With my ebbs and flows. With my vulnerabilities and superpowers. Enough. Loved. Joyful.

Me. My body, my cycle, my blood, my creative being!

Me. Naked. Dancing. Braless. Beautiful. Blissful. Sad and happy.

All of it and even more. ME.

This is a pure love I was longing for all my life!

It came to me!

And I was ready for her!

I want to express here the deepest gratitude that most of it wouldn’t be obtained without the help of amazing coaches and mentors I had on the path to rediscovering myself and ‘finding’that love which was truly always here, within. With some of them, I worked in person, being a part of their programs and tribes, and some of them impacted me very powerfully via their books, materials, podcasts and self-expression viadifferent platforms. 
Zlata Sushchik, Melinda Collins, Samantha Skelly, ElizabethDiAlto, Claire Baker, Danielle LaPorte, Gabby Bernstein, Red School with Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer as the founders, Lisa Lister, and many more I haven’t listed, yet being so empowering on the journey to my own femininity.

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

Advertisements

Let’s talk about personal responsibility.

The definition of ‘responsibility’ by Merriam-Webster Dictionary is the quality or state of being responsible and having moral, legal, or mental accountability.

When it comes to the responsibility of others and other things in our lives, we actually know the best how to do that.

However, when it comes to personal responsibility, there is an uncomfortable silence in the crowd. It’s either because people may not know what is that exactly, or – what I found very interesting – they don’t want to take that type of responsibility on.

And this is where the personal responsibility asks for the attention!

So, let’s start from the beginning. What is that personal responsibility, how can you be fully responsible for yourself and how is this going to impact your life?

What is the personal responsibility?

As the name states already, it the responsibility you take for yourself, your attitude, actions, reactions, words and anything you do towards others and yourself.

It is also the responsibility for your emotionality, life experiences, choices, energies, communications, language, boundaries, and self-work.

Sounds like a lot of responsibilities. Right?

And that makes you a loving, kind, compassionate and caring human being.

How can you be fully responsible for yourself and your life?

Being responsible fully for yourself is a daily practice of self-awareness and self-compassion. It requires you to be mindful of your actions, behaviors or emotions in a way that you take full responsibility for anything you commit to do or follow, and anything that comes out of it.

As my mentor, Elizabeth DiAlto, says, “check yourself before you wreck yourself”.

Pay attention to what’s coming up for you personally as you interact with others. Stop, breath in and revisit it before you destroy the party and everyone’s moods including your own.

Don’t project your emotions and energies onto others before you check-in with yourself first. It’s always best to ask rather than assume or read into what people are saying or doing.

If something triggers you, take a moment (or many moments) to be with your own emotions before responding. Being charged usually doesn’t serve good communication.

Be committed to your choices. Be fully aware that those were your own choices and nobody forced them onto you.

As I always say, “it is nobody’s business to make you happy’. Be aware of what makes you happy and what doesn’t and take responsible actions to feel what you want to feel.

Don’t blame the external world for the chaos and storms in your internal world. Rather give yourself space and time to see what are your emotions trying to tell you and how could you work on it with self. Most of the chaos in the outside world we create by not managing our internal chaos.

Create healthy boundaries where you can grow, blossom, nurture yourself and be true and authentic, so that others can benefit from it as well. Boundaries are important for healthy relationships with others and yourself.

How is this going to impact your life?

Oh, big times!!!!

First, the feeling of self-awareness of your needs wants and triggers creates an amazing tool for self-work.

Second, seeing that you are the creator of your life, day by day, gives you back the power you have within.

Third, knowing that your choices, actions, and behaviors impact you the same as others allow you to take care of them with love and compassion.

Fourth, you become the person you truly wanted to be: aware, calm, responsible, compassionate, loving, caring, aligned, light and happy!

PROMPT: How do you take a personal responsibility in your life now?

[The teachings in this blog come from my book “The True Identity” – publishing early 2019]

The road to the unknown

 

One year ago, I was on the road from New Mexico to Wyoming. I was in a moving truck with all my life squeezed in there. Many things got sold or left behind, though. Material things didn’t have much meaning to me at this point in my life.

I didn’t know yet that soon my life was going to change totally!

And all I could do was to trust that all would be well.

I trusted so much that during the 12-hour drive I didn’t hesitate for a second about my decision. There was no single thought of turning back. I knew I was driving to a new me, to a new life, and to new experiences.

I trusted fully!

 

You may ask me, what has changed?

And this is my answer.

 

Depression is my history.

I recall being depressed and suicidal over the last 15 years, with some extreme ups and down. I never knew that in order for me to overcome this disorder I needed at first to feel safe – safe to be, safe to cry, safe to be down, safe to express what I feel!!! Once I felt the safety in every single cell of my body, the awakening came. I realized that I was loved for who I was because it felt safe. It felt loving, too.

The dark thoughts, self-doubts, and fearfulness may still be present – but the way I react to them today is a totally new game. I observe when they come, how they show up, how dark they are and how cloudy my brain gets – I see them and I refuse to let these experiences control my life.

Emotions are OK.

Pain is my superpower.

I accept it, I love it and I don’t push it away. I know they are all here to teach me how to be a better person every day.

I learned to rest and recharge instead of allowing darkness to overtake me.

I learned to take a nap, instead of going into a self-hateful thinking pattern.

I learned to journal or meditate when I am sad or in pain, so I can cry and cry and feel amazing about expressing all of it!

I learned to pause or even step back when it feels heavy.

I learned that it is only me who has a choice of either being happy or miserable.

So, I remind myself every day that I am loved, safe to express and be, beautiful and whole, worthy and freaking unstoppable. I trusted then and keep trusting today!

 

My personal growth journey went through so many huge shifts that one year ago none of it was even in my dreams.

I was battling severe bulimia, extreme panic attacks, and the biggest obsession over the weight, food and exercising and that saddened me. It felt like it would never end and that there is no hope. Yet, every single time I was experiencing any of it, I managed to look at myself in the mirror and remind myself that there is a way out of it.

It was the hardest part of my entire journey – to believe and trust in something that logically didn’t seem like it was ever coming. I had no clue how that would look like or show up. But I knew I could be free of all of these things. I knew that many other women got there, so I could too!

I trusted, and that trust brought me to the freedom and the most beautiful life so far! Freedom from obsession over food or body-image, freedom from panic attacks, freedom from bulimia and freedom from the fear! I trusted then and keep trusting today!

 

The interpersonal communication and the way it’s done was a huge turn over in my life.

I was told by a few of my ex-partners that I don’t know how to love and how to communicate in the relationship. That’s why I believed that all my relationships didn’t work because I was a problem.

How mistaken I was. I allowed other’s insecurities and inabilities to be projected on me and I took it as my own stories and beliefs.

All I needed was to feel safe. Again, safety was my thing. Once I discovered that being safe is the happy place for me and my Inner Child, then the magic started pouring down from the sky.

Without a person who supported me on this journey by meeting me half-way, that wouldn’t be possible. Creating the safe, non-judgmental and open space for both of us allowed me to blossom. Once that started, I could show how loving and caring of a person I was.

After all, I never thought I could have a relationship like this – trustworthy, respectful, safe, loving, supportive, open and honest!

 

Acceptance of my emotionality, sensitivity, vulnerability, sensuality, and desires was a great step forward.

Oh well, let me tell you – those qualities never aligned with me – they felt weak, whiny, and not allowed in the big world of success. That girl was all about being powerful, never weak and never crying, strong and doing it all by herself!

Well, that is not true today and I am so glad to take that mask off and reveal the true person.

I felt like an outsider or from a different plant, as I called myself.

I could easily become distracted.

I could feel melancholy for no particular reason.

I could feel other people’s emotions intensely.

I could easily take on the mask of Wonder Woman or Femme Fatale to “fit in” in a society that hasn’t appreciated my intuitive ways.

I knew I was super emotional, with extreme waves even during a single day.

I am a nurturer, caregiver and I cry when I see bad things happening to any human being, including homeless or junkie.

I am sensitive as hell, and that is another superpower of mine.

And I freaking love that about me today. I don’t buy into the story of being too sensitive or PMS. I learned to be with all my emotions, the dark and light ones.

I learned to tap into my vulnerability and use it as the most creative and empowering tool I ever had. I decided to reconnect with my intuition and inner voice so I could be the truest version of myself.

 

The last, but not the least, is my rediscovery of the part of me which I managed to suppress for the longest – the femininity and woman in me.

I hated being a woman for most of my life. I wanted to have the testosterone to build muscles, I didn’t want to be a crybaby when someone hurt me, I wanted to be a buddy for most of my men friends, I wanted to be treated as a strong person. No vulnerability, sensitivity, tears or whining were allowed. I was happy for not having a period for most of my life while being on the pill. I used the PCOS diagnosis as a relief so I didn’t need to get pregnant. I wanted to hide my hips and breasts. OMG, I could list these things forever.

Today, that part of me seems to be the most mysterious, magical and hiding so much more to learn, express and live by.

Today I track my period which came back in January 2018. I am excited when I am bleeding because that means I am a woman, still or again, whichever way I look at it.

I am excited to be with the moon outside and soak in the energy of the beautiful Luna.

I am happy doing self-massage, dance to hot and sexual music or meditate naked to love every part of my body.

I would never imagine being at this point just a year ago!

 

Life is beautiful, with every single moment of it – either emotional and sad, or happy and joyful, either with heavy experiences or lightness and breakthroughs.

The number of gifts that life delivers to us within such a short time just like one year – it is truly beyond the imagination of the logical mind. Only the heart and soul can embrace that!

So, I do it, every single day. And I trust!

 

 

Survival Mode…..

….I wasn’t born in this country, I have lived in many other countries, I moved eighteen times, I was sexually and mentally abused and I can’t have kids…. and many of those things seems to be nothing to other’s problems….

Depression, anxiety…. Survival Mode!

 

Survival Mode when I am waking up every day, even though I don’t want because I am afraid of that day, of the future in two minutes, of the person hurting me or rejecting me!

Survival Mode when I tell myself that all will be good, all will work, and today will be a beautiful day – even though I see clouds and I see struggle, because I may not be able to smile today!

Survival Mode when I say I am fine, but all I think is to disappear and never come back!

Survival Mode when I call my mom and tell her that I love her and I am doing so well, I just may need some help to pay rent or bills!

Survival Mode when I know that conversation was a lie and all I want is to kill myself…. only because of her I am not doing it, she would never ever survive that…oh well, I would see her in the heaven then quickly after my attempt!

Survival Mode when words such you are awesome, you are inspiration, you are hardworking, you are kind and you will manage, mean nothing. Oh, they are the biggest lies I have ever heard…why even someone say them…stop it!

Survival Mode when suicide is so tempting, so attractive that I don’t even want to talk to others…being scared they may take away from me that biggest fun and dream!

Survival Mode when lack of motivation, dedication and drive is normal. Don’t people actually live like that their whole life? Why do I need to bother even?

Survival Mode when help is not needed, love is messed up, kindness is worthless, and integrity doesn’t exist… values, what are the values? Didn’t I already told you my biggest goal is to disappear?

Survival Mode when I regret Past, I don’t believe in Present and I am afraid of Future….

Survival Mode when life is not beautiful, life is never beautiful and everyone saying that is just making up the word….

 

Is there anything else?

Someone said, yes….

There is that life which is beautiful actually,

— the love which brings people together and connects those who needs each other,

— the sun which shines on our faces and smiles,

— the flowers and nature which blesses us every day with unconditional awesomeness.

❤ And the SELF which is so unusual, so amazing, so strong and resilient, so fearless and limitless, so powerful and capable of unimaginable.

 

#beYOUtiful

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

How to cleanse your soul through negative feelings?

My STRONG PERSONAL replay to the reaction on the post about being DOWN and MAD and SAD and HATEFUL….

 

“Do not think or act in a negative way because you are attracting negative energy”, “Be positive, everyone has problems so suck it up”, “you are beating yourself over it, don’t do that”. These expressions and others, and friends turning their back on you because you have a bad day and feel down so that means you are negative and NOBODY wants to be negative in this negative world on that negative social media timeline where everyone has problems and everyone is negative….

YOU KNOW WHAT? Take that “negative” word and put deep in the pocket and just stop seeing things as negative or positive, black or white!!!

My recent expression of being sad, mad, down and hateful towards myself brought up a lot of different responses from all my friends, dealing with sometimes extremely different life situations. YOU all have total right to feel that way, express yourself and BE YOURSELF.

Those reactions from others made me reflect a bit and now I want to tell you a little bit about it:

Yes, I was sad…. I was mad…. I was down and I was hateful towards myself. And I know I should be spreading love and smiles all day long every day, but THAT MORNING WASN’T FREAKING A GOOD MORNING!!! So what? THOSE WERE MY FEELINGS, and they were OK! I needed to express them out loud! I didn’t want to hold on them! I didn’t want to allow them to create my day, my attitude, my approach to other things which would follow after. And yes, I did want to changed them in a positive way into a positive outcome!!!

I KNEW ALL THESE THINGS!!! But, let me release it, let me be ME, allow to let those feelings go away…….

I am grateful for having those types of feelings, because they allowed me to learn how to recognize them, how to convert them in a positive way to create a great person, a great day and a great environment. I do love myself, I do believe in myself and I did forgive myself for that morning and for that moment of weakness and being down. I was just down!!!!

Hate is a strong word carrying lots of negative energy and I haven’t felt that for a long, long time. I was told by an amazing life coach to always love myself and forgive myself… but that didn’t happen that morning! Those strong emotions were deep inside of my soul…and whoever told me to stop and be kind and that my day will be bad because I am attracting the same emotions to me, was RIGHT…but somehow I couldn’t let go! I kept seeing those feelings as OK and at the same time as bad because “all my day will be bad” … and I didn’t want that….

As soon as I realized that, it popped out in my mind what another very powerful woman once said that negative feeling is OK!!!! OMG, are they really ok?

Yes, they are ok. WE ARE just HUMANS!!! We will have good days and bed days, we will feel happy, but we will also feel crappy. And that is OK!!! You as human being have right to feel bad, too. As soon as you recognize that feeling and you know that you don’t want to hold on them, it’s OK!!! Just do not let them create your world, your day, your attitude towards others and other things. It’s OK!!! I felt mad, and sad, I felt hate…it’s OK!!! I am just human! I forgive myself NOW!!!!

I promised myself that I will work around it and on it, but I will not promise myself it won’t happen again. Because I know negative feelings will happen, and I know those feelings are good, they are good in terms that they are cleaning whatever bad experiences and emotions accumulated in your body, mind, soul and heart. Just express them, let them be, recognize them, embrace them. Know, that they don’t belong to you. They are temporary. Let them sink in, do not fight them! Go back to your meditation, calming down habits and methods. Repeat: I WILL BE OK, I FORGIVE MYSELF!!!

PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED to sometimes be WEAK or make MISTAKES. And people are allowed to be different, it doesn’t make them “wrong” or “weird” …and even so…Yes, I can call myself weird, crazy, emotional, straightforward and to the point… and I can have bad feelings and down moment! That makes me just a better HUMAN because I know how to control them, how to work on them and how to make them work for me!

LESSON LEARNED: DO NOT go to bed with negative thoughts and negative mindset, do not go to face your day with negative thoughts and negative mindset. Take your time to shout out, cry out, calm down, journal, meditate, record your feelings, express your gratitude and self-love!!!

AND I am GRATEFUL for every single friend of mine who see me as perfect and imperfect person and they still love me, respect me, trust me, look up to me, appreciate me and be with me!!!

Its OK Izabelka !!

YOU got this beYOUtiful!!!! ❤

What we fear the most is what we need to do the most !

You probably know that the greatest enemy of productivity is procrastination. But have you ever thought deeper into the real cause of why we procrastinate? Is it laziness or mediocrity? I tend to believe that it is fear.

Fear is a very strong feeling that is caused by anxiety and anticipation of eminent danger, whether perceived or real. Although it is entirely natural, sometimes our fear is unrealistic and can hamper our achievements, say in public speaking or a job interview. Fear can affect how you enjoy life and can hold you back from doing things that you should do to improve your health or business.

Fear makes what we need to do seem like a daunting task. We fear that what we intend to do will not yield any results. We may call it fear of failure.

Take for instance you have gained weight, and you want to enroll in a fitness program, but you have left fear to halt you in your steps year in year out. You went to the doctor, and your blood sugar or high blood pressure keep soaring, but because fear has overwhelmed you, you have never taken action to get fit. Yet, taking that one step to enroll in a fitness program could save your life and reverse diabetes and hypertension.

What you fear most is actually what you need to do the most to salvage your situation. You could be in an abusive marriage, and you get battered every day. By speaking out, you could save your life. More so ignoring the fear to move out and starting a brand new life could give you renewed hope that life can get better rather than live with the fear of what people will say about your decision and die in the process.

So how do you break this fear? Is it even possible to completely be out of fear?

 

Understand what makes you afraid

What makes you afraid? Get to learn about the real cause of your fear. Identify the patterns and the triggers. You can record and keep a journal so that you understand it better. Doing this you will uncover the underlying problems that are behind your fear so that you can address it.

 

Face you fear and take action

If there’s anything that caps fear is action. If the step that you need to take is helpful and necessary, then take that step without hesitation. Don’t let an opportunity pass you by due to fear. Enroll in the course or program and let the rest follow.

Expose yourself to what you fear. For instance, if you fear to talk in front of a crowd, yet you need that to build your career, by all means, practice even if you have to fake it till you make it.

 

Get help

If your fear has gone overboard and derailed your growth, it is time to seek help from a counselor. Don’t fear to seek help.

Talking therapies and support groups where you meet and share with people who are experiencing the same can be therapeutic. You can also learn from their experiences, challenge each other and be accountable. You will discover that you are not alone as many people struggle with this.

While it’s perfectly normal to experience fear, we can control our attitude to it and still take the right step regardless of the fear. No one is immune to fear. Even musicians get engulfed with stage fright before they hit the stage, but they head out nonetheless.  Don’t let fear stop you from doing what you need to do.

 

Remember, success is on the other side of fear.

http://beyoutiful.fit

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

“One person can make a difference and everyone should try”…

“One person can make a difference and everyone should try” John F Kennedy

Don’t tell me the wisdom in these simple words doesn’t stir something in your belly? The charismatic young president who left too soon coined this memorable statement. Even in his death this statements still speaks to the male or female, young or old. It has no expiry date.

Many a time we find ourselves in scenarios that make us feel helpless. Biting thoughts, conflicts within and without. One might ask, “What am I supposed to do?” “This is too big for me” “Will I look foolish if I do this or mention that?” Does this sound familiar? I bet it does. You know what? It’s okay to be overwhelmed by all this. However, the difference is what you do with this thoughts and ideas. When you run John F Kennedy’s statement through your mind, you will realize that you’re a part of a greater whole human race.

As I was thinking about this, my mind wondered through some of the historical figures that made an impact in their countries and the world in general. For instance, John F Kennedy’s concern was about the young people taking up responsibility of service to their countries. Another great mind said “it is better to try and fail than not to have tried at all.”

Below are some lessons that I learnt from Kennedy’s message that you should learn too.

Practice What You Preach

It is easy to let the fear of failure plague our minds. But here is the thing: even great men and women make mistakes. John Kennedy blundered when he minimized the challenges and threats of the Cold War.

On the other hand, he was quick to learn from a failed meeting with the Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev. He rectified this by using his three C’s: charisma, charm and confidence. What’s more facts reveal that if he hadn’t changed his way of thinking it would’ve lead to bloodshed.

Furthermore, this change in attitude had Kennedy turn another ugly situation, between the Russians and Cuba, into a peaceful compromise. Kennedy practiced what he preached. I don’t know about you but this challenges me to put into practice what I value. I’m re-evaluating the things that could make a difference, for instance taking into consideration the feeling of others towards things and situations.

In a nut-shell I now practice assuming a selfless attitude towards sharing knowledge. I speak out what I know on subjects such as fitness and its importance and help others embrace that as well..

And guess what, I get to be influenced as I also influence others.

Start from somewhere

Believe it or not the hardest part of doing anything is starting out or taking the first little step. You may have had it said, “the end of matter is better than the beginning thereof.” It complements John F Kennedy’s quote on making a difference. It is not the big things that I do that make a difference.

Simple things such as helping an elderly person cross the road. Visiting a children’s home and helping out in one way or other. Putting a smile on a child’s face sometimes has more reward than can be pegged on temporal things. You needn’t take my word for this but there is an inexpressible peace in doing these simple acts. Try it for yourself and see how that goes for you.

The point is …

We all can’t be presidents or be in the limelight. However, if we embrace our positions well we end up affecting positively, the lives of those around us.

Don’t wait for the red carpet to be rolled out in recognition for what you do.

I have learnt along the way the more I give of myself the more I retain.

Confusing? It shouldn’t be.  Try it for yourself then you’ll understand the strength in, “One person can make a difference and everyone should try.”

http://beyoutiful.fit

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

“The Twelve Pillars” by Jim Rohn

I read this book and it change the way I think about success, about personal development and achievements, about helping others, about family, friends and people you are around and about self-love. It is easy read and very powerful!!!

Pillar 1 – Personal Development

Success is all about personal development. Getting paid is not about how hard you work or how many hours you put in, it’s about how valuable you are to the market place. The same company pays different people different wages. To get paid more though, you have to become more valuable. This is done by working harder on yourself than you do on your job. For things to get better in your life you have to get better. This can be done by simply reading one chapter of a good book each day.

Pillar 2 – Total Well-Being

Total well-being is all about “three dimensional health.” The three dimensions are the body (physical), soul (our intellect, emotions, and will) and spirit (part of us that transcends this world). We must take care of ourselves physically each day. We must learn how to take control of our emotions so they work for us and not against us. We must also take care of our spirit which can be done with a short meditation or prayer each day.

Pillar 3 – The Gift of Relationships

Our relationships are one of the most important factors to becoming successful. Our relationships are like a garden. We must cultivate them and make sure to get rid of any weeds that are growing. One of the simple ways to cultivate your relationships is just to spend more time with the most important people in your life. This can be family or friends.

Pillar 4 –  Achieve Your Goals

Success is all about using goals to help you get what you want in life. It’s amazing that 95% of people do not even have goals. The ones that do often keep them in their head like marbles rattling around. You must write your goals down. This simple act of writing down your goals helps program your mind on what it is you want. Note that all top achievers have clear written goals, which they evaluate every month, every 3 or 6 months and every year!

Pillar 5 – The Proper Use of Time

This is all about time management. One of the best things you can do with time management is to know the difference between important tasks and urgent tasks. Most people waste their time on urgent tasks that pop up during the day and then they never get the important tasks done. A good habit to develop is writing down what needs to be done the day before and making sure that your one most important task is done at the beginning of the day.

Pillar 6 – Surround Yourself with the Best People

It is said that you will earn what the five closest people around you earn. You will be as happy as the five closest people around you are. The people you associate with play a big part in what you get in life. You must learn how to associate with the people that already have what you want or who you would like to become like and disassociate from people who are holding you back. You do not have to ignore your friends, but you may have to spend a little less time with them.

Pillar 7 – Be a Life Long Learner

Almost 90% of all millionaires believe in constant and never ending improvement. It is important to create a habit of constant learning. This can be done by simply reading part of a good book each day, taking courses and listening to audio training. The better you get, the easier everything else will become.

Pillar 8 – Life is Sales

Everything in life is sales. Even when we are children we are selling to our parents for everything we want. When we get a job we have to sell ourselves. We are being sold to all the time with TV, radio, books, magazines, internet, billboards, leaflets etc. Sales is one of the most important skills to learn, no matter what you do. This one skill can triple your income in as little as one year.

Pillar 9 – Income Seldom Exceeds Personal Development

You will notice that all houses over $250,000 in value have a personal library. This is not a coincidence. People who read become more valuable and when you are more valuable you get paid more money. Begin building your library. You can start by buying this book.

Pillar 10 – Communication Brings Common Ground of Understanding

Effective communication is the key to building relationships. Remember This: Everything you do in life involves other people. The better you can communicate with people, the better you are going to do. The keys to effective communication is simply listening. The better you can understand other people’s needs, wants and goals, the better you can then find a solution and help them.

Pillar 11 – The World Can Always Use One More Great Leader

Great leaders are made not born. The world needs more leaders. Great leadership is about having a clear vision of what you are trying to achieve and genuinely wanting to improve other people’s lives. “The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.” That’s powerful!

Pillar 12 – Leave a Legacy

Life is short. You can’t choose how long you live, but you can choose how well you live. I hope you found these twelve pillars valuable and they have somehow improved your life. It is now your turn to leave a legacy for someone else you care about.

 

Be the one who designs your life, be the one who is the proof of every word you say, be the one who will be remembered by many after you will be gone. Create the butterfly effect!!!

Enjoy the book!!!

Let me know in comments how did you like the article and what do you think about the book!