The Moment

Just writing this here on Monday, in February 2019, to remember.

The morning when I woke up without alarm clock, on my own terms, after getting an amazing nine hours of full night sleep. I remember feeling rejuvenated, fresh and ready to embark on my day.

—–

The morning tea, which I made with a tint of gratitude for my own herbs, hot water and electricity to be able to make that water boiling. The smell of the mint tea, just like in my mini herbal garden, made me feel relaxed and excited to sip on it.

—–

The morning routine the bathroom, where while changing I could express deep and loving gratitude for my body. Knowing where I came from and how hateful I was towards that creation, made me extremely thankful today and put smile on my face.

—–

The natural, organic and herbal salve for my face, which smelled beautifully and made me content with how I am choosing my cosmetics for my precious skin and body. That moment made my soul happy, too.

—–

The journaling and tracking my body’s physical, emotional, mental and spiritual qualities and seeing the pattern associated with my natural cycle. Just knowing that all nature, and me being part of it, lives in cyclical pattern, was very empowering.

—–

The morning breath, pause and movement, which brought me back to my body and to a present moment soothing my anxieties and stress. There would always be stress out there, but I knew that I could tap into trust and awareness at any time, that I have a choice and I could make it into a wonderful day.

—–

The content creating for my newsletter and my audience, where I truly could write with a full expression of myself and my voice, bringing into life powerful message that you all could resonate with and feel that are enough and worthy. This has been sparking my life since some time and I was beyond happy to do that.

—–

The music which could ease out any tense sensations, giving the opportunity for my hips to shake and move in any way they wanted. Engaging with it brought my body relief I craved since this morning, and other mornings, too.

—–

The workshop lead by life-changing, empowering and the most authentic woman I ever met, which created the space filled with energies of safety, openness and full expression of oneself. I couldn’t be more appreciative to be a part of such a circle.

—–

The meditation practice, when I could cry and smile, feel expansion and contraction, or sense stress and relief. During moments like that I know what trust, surrender and release is. During moments like that I know what self-love, compassion and gentleness is. Just being in that feeling when hurt is hurt and joy is joy, without overanalyzing, or putting labels of ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Priceless.

—–

The silence where I could hear my thoughts, my heart pounding, and my deepest and rooted true authentic self. The silence so quiet that it could trigger others, but me. It put a gentle arm around me comforting me, soothing and nurturing my heart, enlightening my soul and bringing joy to my craving Inner Child.

—–

I want to remember that the more love and time and energy and attention and generosity and kindness I give to myself, the more those things are available to give to others. ❤️

It is safe for me to be ME!

❤️

❤️

Advertisements

HOMESICK

One day I got homesick.

I haven’t seen my family, which is back in Europe, for almost 6 years. Due to many reasons, personal, professional, financial and other.

Today I got seriously home sick. I missed my Mom. I couldn’t stop crying, tears were dropping uncontrollably. They were releasing so much sadness. The deep longing for reconnecting to the woman who carried me in her womb, who raised me and who feels what I feel, was overwhelming.

It came suddenly, unplanned.

Yet, it was totally planned. Nothing happens without a reason. The Universe has its ways to communicate!

I don’t have kids. I wanted at some point in my life. But due to hormonal problems, such as PCOS, I knew I will either have difficulties to get pregnant or never be able to have kids. After trying for over one and a half years with my ex-husband, I gave up. In order for me to not get depressed, I convinced my mind and heart that it is ok. That I am sick and I can always enjoy the children in my family, among my friends and around me. I even volunteered for children mentorship organizations to fulfill what was missing in my life.

Whenever someone asked me about kids, my answer was very fast and straightforward: I don’t want to have kids. I won’t be a good mother and I believe I am being a more responsible person by not having them rather than giving them a bad example and a bad family.

The emotions about having one were scary, fearful, even to the point of being disgusted.

I also felt that I love my space.  I like living luxury life. I like being by myself. Kids would just destroy my beautiful, well organized environment which I could live by myself according to myself.

Recently, the situation in my relationship forced me to discuss the potential pregnancy with my fiancée. I am not sure why did I even ask about what we will do if that happens. I quickly concluded that I am having an abortion in that case. There is no space for a kid in my life. No, no, no.

Yet, the other day I wasn’t able to purchase a pregnancy test in the store. For the first time in my life all I could feel was my heart saying that all of it is in God’s and the Universe’s hands.

I came back home and I started crying.

Cried and cried, not knowing why at first.

I missed my mom!

I realized that I didn’t want to have kids, ever in my life, because I didn’t want them to hurt me as I hurt my mom.

I didn’t want them to leave me behind and abandon me as I did to my mom.

Since I was little, I knew my mission was to protect my mom. Protect her from my abusive dad. I saw her too often on the floor bleeding from kicks and punches from my dad. All I could do to protect her then was to make sure my younger siblings were quiet so my dad wouldn’t punish my mom even more. I knew I was helping her.

I was protecting her from abusive words during the family events, where my dad could call her a whore in front of hundreds of people. Her tears were my tears, her dishonored person was mine to carry.

I was protecting her every single time I could. And if there was a moment I couldn’t it was because I wasn’t present.

Then I left to college. I left her!

I left her in the place where there was no love for her. I left her with a person I deeply hated. I left her alone and weak, sad and depressed, yet so strong that she allowed me to go. With a smile on her face, eyes full of hope, body language expressing deep love and pain at the same time, she sent me to the outside world. That way I could go there and get an education and be an independent woman and a kind person to even my enemies, serve others and always forgive, as she forgave my father a long time ago.

How could she possibly do that?

How?

Because she is the strongest woman on this planet I have ever known.

Today, knowing how I hurt her, I know I don’t want to feel that hurt myself. I don’t want my kid to abandon me.

I don’t want my kid to tell me one day that she doesn’t want to live anymore. Because I did that, too, to my mom on my birthday, when she called me at the exact same time I was born 37 years earlier. I told her that I want to die, and I should have never been born.

I can just feel the sharp pain in her heart. Yet, she didn’t even move. She didn’t panic. She didn’t cry. That wonderful woman said words I will never forget.

‘Your birth gave me hope and it always will. So today I am telling you that there is hope! Stay with me baby girl and we both will make it work!’

– my MOM

So today I know that in order to love, forgive and live with hope, kindness, compassion and unlimited strength in my heart and soul, I need to feel pain, experience hurt and tears and keep moving. Through pain there is healing. Through pain I can become the true and authentic, loving and beautiful woman my Mom always wanted me to be. Just like her! And always loving my enemies! Just like her!

Today I am grateful for what I am being given, the wonderful gift of life, the wonderful Mother and the opportunity to give life and be a mother myself as well. Whatever it is meant for me to give birth to!

I LOVE YOU MOM!  ❤️

.

The apps for my physical, spiritual and mental health.

It is so weird for me to write this blog just in the middle of digital detox, with hugely limited time on social media. So even using my phone for more than calling or texting is limited as well.

Yet, I can see the power of some apps I have downloaded and I use, and which totally serve their purpose.

That’s why I decided to answer your questions and share with you 9 apps I am using for my mental, physical and spiritual health.

Physical health

MyFitnessPal

https://www.myfitnesspal.com/

I have used that app for over 4 years. Yes, it is amazing at tracking almost everything: food, nutrition, macros, calories, workouts, and your fitness progress. It has a huge database with foods from all over the world – believe me, I am Polish and I eat foods from all over Europe. It can scan also barcode of all foods you buy. It has an extremely easy way to type in your own recipe with giving you the exact breakdown of macros, calories and whatever you wish in the serving size you provide. It helped me in every way on my fitness path to the bodybuilding stage, to the professional racing and beyond. However, I would lie if I wouldn’t say that this type of tracking may be very addictive and obsessive. So please use your own discernment and use it as a tool, not as an indicator of your worth!

Clue

https://helloclue.com/

This is an app to track my menstrual cycle. I simply love it. You can use it to track what the app is suggesting, like emotionality, mental state, pains, temperature, cravings, fitness activity. You can also add many more options to track. It gives me a very clear picture where I am with my cycle, and the data are securely saved in their system so I can log in from any device I want. For those of us who are nerds, a beautiful thing about this app is that the Clue Team does a lot of research (Clue Research Innovation Program) and blogging about actual data and information related to menstrual cycles. By visiting their page, you can read so much more, ask questions and find the help you may need.

Kindara

https://www.kindara.com/

Kindara is the fertility awareness app, used primarily to monitor ovulation and fertile window. It is used as a natural fertility method. You can track as many data as you want, including the most important for its role: cervical discharge and body temperature. I use it mostly as a visual version of the Clue app, to see my body’s physical function. It is so easy to use, and so colorful 😊

Mental health

Spirit Junkie by Gabby Bernstein

https://gabbybernstein.com/shop/spirit-junkie-app/

I love this app. Very simple yet so mentally grounding and reminding me about taking care of the hygiene of my own thoughts. Every day, at 11:11am I get a beautiful mantra which brings me back to the present moment, allows me to take few breaths in, and be grateful for who I am and what I have at that moment. Definitely, a powerful tool to use for your mental self-care.  

Pocket Casts

https://www.pocketcasts.com/

That is my iTunes version for Android. I use it to collect all my podcasts I want to listen to. It allows you to download them to your phone to listen to in the off-line situation. As an Android person, I am very loyal to this app. It is easy, very clear and well organized. It is a paid app, but so worth the price.

Spotify

https://www.spotify.com/us/

Shake it, shake it! This is my ‘dance, move and fun’ app. Everyone knows it. It is an app to listen to all the music – worldwide. What I love about it is that you can create your own playlist and then share it with anyone you want. You can send it to your girlfriend so you both can shake that booty, or to your client as a tool for the transformation they are working on. Music is an amazing remedy and energy healer!

BTW, this is one of my favorite playlists:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2zG8pzvLSrYgY4lfvQdbdW

Spiritual health

Insight Timer

https://insighttimer.com/

I think, in my humble opinion, that this is the best meditation and relaxation app ever. It not only has guided meditations, but also relaxation music of any kind and talks on a wide range of topics in the spirituality field. It offers a variety of courses, tools to relax, ease anxiety or sleep better. The artists are amazing and from all over the world, so the app offers also exposure to different cultures. You can bookmark what you like, rate the experience and even submit questions directly to the artist. I use it for guided meditation or as simple as background music to my own practice or during work. I use it to do my Yoga Nidra routine and for my ceremonies and rituals. This app almost never closes on my phone. Another wonderful fact about it is that you meditate with thousands of other people at the same time and you can let them know about that. Wow, the world is truly getting smaller and smaller. How magical is that! Definitely, worth of your try.

1 Giant Mind

https://www.1giantmind.com/

I downloaded this meditation app to participate on 12-day course on learning how to meditate. After that the app offers another challenge – 30 days. I love the simple way of guiding me through the process. Even though I may be little more advanced, but wow, this 12-day course taught me so much. Well, we are learning all our lives, right? The website offers also podcast and…. the certification program to become a meditation teacher! How cool is that!

Bliss

https://bliss31.com/

This app is a very cool tool for those of you who don’t journal via the classic way, pen-to-paper, but rather want something digital. I used it for a while and I actually adopted a few ideas from the app and transferred them to my written journal. I personally believe that there is real magic, intrapersonal communication, and processing while writing thoughts and reflections on the paper. And I am a true ambassador of that way of journaling. However, I know that not everyone may be able to either carry their journal with them or spend extra time writing. This app is very beautiful, and have many options to bring your attention to the present moment and reflect. Go ahead and try it! You won’t regret!

Hey, that would be it!

I am so curious which apps are you using for your physical, mental and spiritual health? 
Or which one did you download after reading this blog?

I’d love to hear from you, let me know either below in the comment or on my social media here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iskra22

FB Sacred beYOUtiful group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/beYOUtifulbyIzabela/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beyoutiful_spartanlady/

2018: The year of pure transformation and life-changing lessons.

I was about to start this blog with a very plain title “The teachings of 2018”.

However, I thought that I’ll start with these life-changing conclusions first and elaborate on them next:

1. Slowing down is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of huge personal responsibility and strength.

2. Choosing differently every day is the most powerful tool ever.

3. Love is for free – you don’t need to do anything for it, you don’t need to work for it either!

Footnotes:

1. Boundaries are crucial.

2. Know your fears even the most shameful ones.

3. There is light in a tunnel, but you need to ask for help first and keep walking.

Conclusion:

I am ME, just the way I am and I will never be able to make everyone happy around me. Even if tried, I could end up making myself miserable before others and they are still not going to be happy.

.

The biggest awakening came in my relationship, where I am still learning what unconditional love is. I dreamt about it since I was a little girl, yet never had any clue that one day I will be purely afraid of it. The fact that someone can love me for just who I am, without me needing to work for it, do things in return, become someone else, or fake it till I make it – is mind-blowing.

Love is for free. FREE.

And it comes from every angle of the life – no need to chase it, no need to be approved for it, no need to look for. No need to be different, too!  

.

I learned how to say NO, set healthy boundaries and secure my own space for my own self-care and sanity. All done in the most loving way possible. Was everyone ok with that? NO, of course not. And that was totally fine with me.  

.

I also learned that the only thing I am truly capable of doing is to make myself happy without expecting others to do it for me. It is just not fair to do so.

I started this year with fighting with extreme bulimia and depression. I wanted to be well. I knew that it’s out of my integrity to coach others battling with such disorders yet being affected myself so deeply. I needed to see the light in the tunnel… which I couldn’t for a long time. The help could come only when I asked for.

I understood that I have a free will, and nobody is going to cross that border unless I permit them to do so. This when “I need help” came out of my mouth and when it was delivered. Was is fast? Not at all. I learned in my life that things which are meaningful need real and affectionate work, with love, compassion, and acceptance. And all will happen at its own pace!

.

This brings me to December this year when I decided to step back, slow down and rethink a lot of things in my life, especially my business, job, mission and life purpose. It was hard at first because I, as many of you, was wired to hustle, advertise, promote, chase and work hard for every single penny and client.

It was one of the most wonderful lessons to learn that slowing down is actually an act of strength and integrity.

I’ve never put something on social media that wasn’t sincere. If I’m having a bad day, I don’t say much. Because privacy is part of authentic wellness. And because I’m committed to offering hope- and love-bringing content. I go through the issue, I learn from it, I bring out the lessons from it and then I share it. I am a guide and teacher.

.

Last, but not the least, is that I recognized the deepest fears of mine. Even writing them here makes me feel still ashamed and little uneasy. But I know how sharing them may help me and some of you who can resonate.

I am afraid of being happy, loved and successful.

Yes, I am. I didn’t realize until the end of this year how manipulation, procrastination and self-pity are huge in my life. I use them to protect myself in the most ‘artificial’ way. My ego feels safe when it’s in control. Experiencing pure love, happiness and success wasn’t in my cards in the past. When I see the huge opportunity for them in any form, my mind panics and retract. It feels afraid! And it does anything to not feel that way!

.

Today I know that in 2019 my major goal will be to step out of that comfort zone and experience what’s meant for me!

That means – self-trust is the theme for next year!

.

So, cheers to the 2019!!!

.

  • What is your theme for 2019?
  • What are your lessons from 2018?
  • What are your goals for 2019?
















I am HERE. I am NOW. I am
ME. ❤



Where is this freaking self-love coming from?

How many times did you ask yourself that question?

I did at least a million times.

I saw all these beautiful posts, mantras, affirmations, illustrations, quotes, poems, books and posters, and all I did was nodding my head and repeating after them – ‘oh yes, yes, I know… yes, I love myself, yes, I care about myself’ – over and over again.

Oh gosh, how they didn’t resonate with me.

Oh gosh, how they didn’t sound familiar to me at all.

The more I immersed myself into it, the more frustrated I was getting.

What is all about that self-love?

How one can freaking actually love themselves?

It simply didn’t click at all.

I felt at times, like either my mind didn’t get it, or I did something wrong, or simply – self-love doesn’t exist. It was all blurry-type of marketing fame and that was it all.

I was actually right, at least with the first part of my statement. My mind didn’t get it because self-love is not mind’s job. Period!

Honestly, anytime my mind started spinning its chatter, I seriously needed to seat with it and make sure it shuts up so I could do my thing.

I was also right with the second part of my statement, that I was doing something wrong.

I was actually doing everything upside down, and all over again. I got myself in such a bundle of wires and knots that there was no way to see it through. I got to that point that I needed to scream loud to ask for help. I was doing all of it wrong, including self-help tools I intenden to use.

Self-love is the easiest thing ever if we let it be!!!

Self-love, as the name indicates, comes from within. WITHIN!

Read that again. From inside of you!

It doesn’t come from artificial affirmations which someonetold us to use, and you have no clue even how to embody them.

Self-love doesn’t come from a million self-care practices, amazing spa weekends and red roses.

Self-love doesn’t come from being needy and expecting others to make you happy. How unfair is that!

So where is it coming from, huh?

Here is my answer:

I was looking for self-love in money and a great job. And it didn’t show up. I was looking for it in validation, cuddles and external love from boyfriends and it didn’t show up either. I was looking for it even in the healthy lifestyle industry, by being fit, eating well, looking sexy, desired and admirable…. Well, it didn’t show up in there as well.

The more I was ‘looking’ for, the more I was discovering that it may actually not exists.

The beautiful self-love, that one I truly desired, and wanted to be a part of my life, was nowhere to be seen.

How did I want the self-love to show up in my life?

  • I wanted to be depression-free so I could have life purpose to get up every day.
  • I wanted to be suicidal-thoughts-free so I could appreciate the gift of life.
  • I wanted to be bulimia-free so I could be grateful for the body which did so much for me every day.
  • I wanted to be self-hatred-free so I could freaking finally love myself.

Purely. Unconditionally. Confidently. Authentically. Joyfully.

It came to me.

It came in a form I would have never expected.

Oh, how sad and mad, frustrated and angry, disappointed and upset I was.

And at the same time, how relieved I felt. How happy, truly, purely, authentically and joyfully happy!

It came in the form of the love from WITHIN.

❤ The moment when I cried feeling sadness, but I sat with it to understand why I was sad.

❤ The moment when I was alone with myself and stayed there to experience who I was.

❤ The moment when I joyfully danced and jumped in the park knowing that this made my heart smile.

❤ The moment when saying ‘NO’ was a blissful experience.

❤ The moment when I saw my depression as a cry of my soul to be loved and appreciated.

❤ The moment when the most important relationship I wanted to nurture was with myself first.

❤ The moment when my childhood abuse memories were coming back and I thanked them for showing up.

❤ The moment when I rebuild the connection with my Inner Child and saw her pain caused by me.

❤ The moment when looking at my naked body wasn’t filled with willingness to self-violate anymore.

❤ The moment when I was literally apologizing for every part of my body for abusing it for so long.

❤ The moment when I got my first period after over 15 years of faking it and getting rid of.

❤ The moment when I enjoyed being braless because I finally loved my femininity.

❤ The moment when I became a friend with my pain, weakness and mistakes – being grateful for their teachings.

❤ The moment when I literally could touch, smell and even taste my own blood knowing that this is freaking me.

And that will be me. Until I die.

Did I want to treat myself and my Inner Child in the abusive way as I was abused in my past?

Did I want to waste my body, my soul and heart because I didn’t see it as it ‘should be’?

No. Not anymore.

I understood.

That was me. That is me. Whole. Unique. Myself. With my ebbs and flows. With my vulnerabilities and superpowers. Enough. Loved. Joyful.

Me. My body, my cycle, my blood, my creative being!

Me. Naked. Dancing. Braless. Beautiful. Blissful. Sad and happy.

All of it and even more. ME.

This is a pure love I was longing for all my life!

It came to me!

And I was ready for her!

I want to express here the deepest gratitude that most of it wouldn’t be obtained without the help of amazing coaches and mentors I had on the path to rediscovering myself and ‘finding’that love which was truly always here, within. With some of them, I worked in person, being a part of their programs and tribes, and some of them impacted me very powerfully via their books, materials, podcasts and self-expression viadifferent platforms. 
Zlata Sushchik, Melinda Collins, Samantha Skelly, ElizabethDiAlto, Claire Baker, Danielle LaPorte, Gabby Bernstein, Red School with Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer as the founders, Lisa Lister, and many more I haven’t listed, yet being so empowering on the journey to my own femininity.

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

The path to redefining and rediscovering the love in my life

“If you don’t believe in love, what’s the point in living?” -Ron Swanson

 

I remember the beginning of the journey to so-called ‘self-love’. The task was to tell myself twelve times the affirmation “I love myself”. To made this more profound and actually working, I was supposed to be looking at myself in the mirror, straight into my own eyes. All was supposed to happen after I woke up, so no other thoughts were in my mind yet.

The task was easy in its description, yet it was the hardest one I have ever endured. Or at least tried.

You may ask me, ‘did it work”?

‘Is this why you are now so self-loving?’

 

Unfortunately, not.

That task was extremely hard to perform and follow through. The entire process felt heavy on my heart. I became more resentful, and actually more resistant every day. The more I was repeating these words, the more disbelieving I felt.

  • I started doubting the actual task and its effects.
  • I was wondering how other women managed to go through it and get to that beautiful place of self-love.
  • I doubted the affirmations itself, too.

 

Today, I believe that affirmations work, but only when they are aligned with your core desired values.

I believe that before we start repeating the affirmations, we need to evaluate our core desired values first. It is crucial to see and feel what you are actually craving the most… and what it is that needs your attention the most.

 

I started asking myself the questions, which I invite you to ask yourself today, too:

  • What did you love doing as a kid?
  • What do you crave in the life?
  • What comes so naturally to you and it flows with an ease?
  • What matters to you the most?
  • What sparks your heart and brings a smile on your face?
  • What do you stand for?
  • What you can’t tolerate at all?
  • What are you VERY CLEAR that you DO NOT want in your life?

 

The clear list of things I truly desired and things I knew deep inside of my heart that I never wanted to deal with was a start point to start talking to myself in a more kind, positive and loving way.

That core desired feelings allowed me to see what I wanted to commit to in my life.

The clear and pure desires were the foundation to set up the self-love on.

 

I knew what I wanted in my life.

I didn’t know HOW to get that, yet. But ‘how’ wasn’t important then. The most important thing was to rewire my mind onto the path of affirming beautiful words and beliefs to myself.

 

So, I started by telling myself:

‘I may not love myself yet, but I am on the path to living the life where accepting and liking my body will be natural and easy.’

‘I may not know how to nurture myself yet, but I am totally on the path to start with small self-care practices and see how they make me feel.’

 

I kept telling myself that phrase that ‘I am in the process…’ every day the entire day and everything was getting easier. I knew what I desired and now I was collaborating with my own mind.

My mind was very happy by these conversations, and all affirmations felt compatible with what I truly wanted in my life. I spontaneously was choosing better actions and steps throughout the day and that felt so amazing.

Constant dialog with myself that I was in the process of becoming the highest version of myself lightened me up and motivated to keep doing what I was doing.

More and more beautiful things started falling into place. There were bumps, but it became easier to walk through them. There were pains and tears, but acceptance was something that I was choosing then.

 

Today I know, that I would never ever change the trajectory of my own journey towards self-love. I know that the best gift I could ever give myself is true, deep and sparkly self-love I have to myself now.

 

I know that there is not a better gift than the guidance to self-love that I could give to anybody I care about.

 

*** How did your journey to self-love look like?

*** How does this journey look like right now?

 

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

Enjoyment of the moment

 

“WHEN I STAND BEFORE GOD AT THE END OF MY LIFE, I WOULD HOPE THAT I WOULD NOT HAVE A SINGLE BIT OF TALENT AND TIME LEFT, AND COULD SAY THAT I USED EVERYTHING YOU GAVE ME, GOD!”

– Erma Bombeck

 

“I want to be happy in my life!”

 

That’s the most repeated phrase after “I love you”. Happiness is that ONE thing we all chase and long for. The happiness has as many faces as people on this planet.

 

As I sit on my pillow, my hand writes down one of the most beautiful words, which seemed like a cry of my soul. The happy cry, the aha-moment cry, the Eureka cry – the realization cry of what happiness is for me.

Today I share with you that deep, vulnerable and empowering desires!

 

“I truly want to be happy in my life!

I don’t want to do what doesn’t spark me.

The last few weeks of hustling to post the most inspiring words on social media, following all other inspiring coaches and women, comparing myself to others just made me feel very fearful, miserable, unhappy, not present and not appreciative of what I have right now in my life.

I realized that the hustle may not be for me.

The rat race and money chasing may totally be out of my life or happiness definition.

 

It hit me how much I want to organically inspire, motivate, help and be of service to others, just be being the truest version of myself.

 

And, I also want to enjoy life! I truly do.

I want to enjoy time with my partner instead of being stressed about not doing enough.

I want to enjoy the healthy food and have fun with it instead of being miserable and obsessed with my body image.

I want to enjoy the movements of my body, workouts, and dance instead of punishing and hurting my body.

I want to be healthy and fit and go places instead of being overstressed and frozen in the hustle mode.

I want to enjoy the cozy, loving and safe place and home instead of chasing huge and cold villas.

I want to enjoy my garden full of herbs and nature instead of feeling that this is a waste of time.

I want to enjoy doing new things and build memories with my fiancée and friends instead of being a workaholic.

I want to connect with people on a personal level instead of being fake and copy-monkey social media guru.

I want to enjoy small groups meetings and retreats where true connection, magic, love, self-expression, and beautiful transformations happen instead of hiding from the overwhelm of this world.

 

I want to feel happy and proud of myself at the end of the day. I want to know that I did everything in all my abilities to love and be loved. I want to be content knowing that my time was very well spent with all I have. I want to live being appreciative of my life every second.

 

I want to give it a time – a time to listen to myself, a time to hear what the Universe has to say, a time to flow with what it’s meant for me.

I want to focus on my emotions, body, and cycle.

I want to be appreciative of every moment.

I want to express love every day.

I want to be in the flow.

I want to just be, in the present moment

And I want to be patient to be able to see and feel what lights me up. “

 

What does happiness mean to you? ❤

 

 

 

 

 

The KAKAO Ceremony for focus, energy, self-love and menstrual pain release.

If you follow me long enough on my Instagram or FB page, you already figured out that KAKAO plays an important and beautiful role in my daily life.

  • But why KAKAO?
  • What is it so special about it?
  • Why do I do ceremonies around a simple ‘hot chocolate’ drink?

 

Let me introduce you to the world of KAKAO by showing you how this natural drink can be powerful for your physical body; as well as mental, emotional and spiritual life.

 

I have rediscovered cacao a month and a half ago.

In my childhood, powdered cacao was served in a form of hot chocolate, chocolate cake, chocolate pudding or ice-cream. All made of cacao powder, mixed with other natural ingredients and sweeteners such as honey. Hot cacao was also used by my mom as a home remedy for diarrhea and menstrual pains.

 

What’s the difference between CACAO and COCOA?

Raw cacao is made by cold pressing unroasted cocoa beans while cocoa powder is made by roasting the beans at high temps. When processing raw cacao, the enzymes are left in while the cacao butter (fat) is removed (which is also very nutritious and available to purchase and consume). However, when cocoa powder is made by roasting at high levels of heat, the enzymes are ruined and you are left with fewer nutrients in your powder. This is why raw CACAO powder is a whole lot better for you!

So, it’s good to know that although all forms of chocolate and cocoa powders come from the same tree, the process they go through to get there destroys most of the healthy aspects of the plant.

 

Let’s dive into the benefits of CACAO! The list is loooong!

Cacao is a source of scientifically proven “bliss chemicals” known to influence the body and brain in beneficial ways.

  1. Serotonin: A neurotransmitter commonly known as the “feel-good” chemical. Cacao not only supplies the body with serotonin but also aids the body in producing its own serotonin naturally. Serotonin is well known for its ability to combat stress and improve the mood by promoting the feelings of comfort, contentment, happiness, relaxation, and well-being.
  2. Phenylethylamine (PEA): better known as “the love chemical” for its association with the ‘butterflies in the stomach’ excitement when you are falling in love. When ingested, PEA stimulates the central nervous system to release the body’s natural opium-like compounds called endorphins. PEA signals the body to promote the sensation of alertness, focus, and mental acuity, all while elevating the mood, speeding up metabolism, and boosting memory.
  3. Anandamide: in Sanskrit, Ananda literally means “bliss” making anandamide the “bliss chemical” in chocolate. Anandamide is a neurotransmitter found naturally in cacao and also in the human brain (the only two places it has currently been discovered). Anandamide binds to the same receptors sites in the brain as THC from cannabis. Unlike THC, anandamide won’t leave you in a mind-altered state, but, does produce a feeling of euphoria.
  4. Theobromine: this chemical acts as a vasodilator, meaning it opens the blood vessels leading to relaxation of the smooth muscles. Benefits of this chemical include enhanced blood flow and oxygenation to the brain in addition to long-term antioxidant properties.
  5. Magnesium: every cell in the body contains this mineral and requires it to function. Magnesium helps increase energy, calms nerves, aids in digestion, and relieves muscle aches and pains (among a whole host of other benefits).
  6. Zinc: This is a vital mineral for our immune system, bone health, healing, and for good hormone balance and fertility. The 100g of cacao can provide around 45% of our recommended amount of zinc. It’s without a doubt the best source of zinc for someone who refuses to eat animal products.
  7. Antioxidants: Raw cacao has 40 times the amount of antioxidants that blueberries have. Cacao is one of the world’s most antioxidant-rich foods. Antioxidants do wonders for your immune system and help to get rid of any free radicals that you may have hanging out in your body.
  8. Iron: Raw cacao has 7.3 milligrams of iron per 100 grams. Or in other words, if you take 28 grams of raw cacao, you’ll be getting over 300% the daily value. Raw cacao is the highest plant-based source of iron in the world! Iron is the mineral especially needed for women before, during and after the menstrual flow to counter the depletion of it via the loss of the blood. Iron is necessary to beat anemia. So definitely raw cacao is your friend, girl!!!
  9. Phytonutrients: They help with cardiovascular health, particularly in keeping your blood healthy. Raw cacao has blood-thinning properties that can help lower blood pressure and chances of clotting. It also encourages blood flow and helps keep your cholesterol levels healthy. Aztecs actually referred to the cacao plant as “heart blood.” They believed that consuming cacao would help you to make decisions with your heart’s intuition rather than with your logical thinking.
  10. Dietary Fiber: Raw cacao also has a high amount of dietary fiber. Although chocolate has given cacao the reputation of being sweet, raw cacao is actually very low in sugar. Most of its carbohydrates come from the fiber. The fiber in raw cacao can help keep you regular and can contribute to weight loss. However, remember, a little goes a long way with cacao! Taking too much could give you a stomach ache.

 

I could go on for days listing the health benefits of cacao, but to save you your sanity, I’ll simply conclude it with this EPIC quote:

“After water, cacao is the single healthiest substance you can put in your mouth. It can easily replace a number of psychiatric drugs for mood, plus it produces the same chemistry in the brain that occurs when we fall in love.” – Chris Kilham, WellBella

 

Why did I choose this unconventional, yet so special drink to have it every day?

The major reason was to substitute coffee with something more beneficial, healthier and enjoyable. Since I truly believe in the Universe, the moment I asked, I surprisingly opened up one of the inspirational woman IG post and there was it, the KAKAO Ceremony. I got attracted to the spiritual aspect of this drink, and the scientific benefits of it blew my mind. This drink is used for ages and was used also by my mom as a home remedy. I was stocked to rediscover it and start drinking it again.

The actual benefits I experienced were amazing. I was very focused, feeling positive and energized. I felt full and nurtured by its thick consistency and super-nutrients. I loved every sip of it.

Two months later, I still drink Kakao and no single cup of coffee. I don’t feel like I need any booster in order to perform mentally and physically.

 

The KAKAO CEREMONY.

The KAKAO Ceremony was the most beautiful part of it, though. Having the warm cacao for my morning routine, for my meditation and journaling, is very soothing, calming and empowering. It brings a smile on my face every single time. And with that my entire body, heart, and soul smile, too. I talk to it, I invoke the presence of the KAKAO Goddess and Spirit, I give it my worries and fears, and I ask to fulfill my heart with that beautiful soothing love I feel from it.

Does that make me a witch doing a hocus-pocus in my room, connecting to weird shamans from the past and invoking the spirits of Aztecs? Whatever you call it, I’ll continue with my beautiful ceremony because it truly makes me connect with self, with love, and create magic in my day!

 

How do I drink my KAKAO?

Here is a simple recipe for you I use every day, with slight modifications from time to time:

2 – 4 tbsp of organic cacao powder

1 tsp of organic maca powder

½ tsp of cinnamon

½ tsp of vanilla powder (optional)

1 tbsp of coconut oil

Pour around 10-15 ounces of warm to hot water (not boiling), mix, then blend and ENJOY IT!

 

Sometimes I add 1 tsp of lucuma powder for more natural nutrients (it is rich in Vit. C and B3). I made it with a pinch of nutmeg, but I personally didn’t like it. Sometimes, I use also ghee butter instead of coconut oil. To sweeten it, I used honey a couple of times. However, I skip honey most of the time because I love the dark chocolate taste of my KAKAO).

 

I hope you enjoy your KAKAO drink!

 

I would love to hear from you how does cacao makes you feel, and how did you incorporate it into your day?

Did you create a beautiful ceremony for yourself? I would love to see the picture of it.

Post it in the beYOUtiful secret & sacred group here.

 

Let’s create a tribe of KAKAO GODDESSES!

 

By for now, beYOutiful!

LoVE, 

Izabela

 

 

 

 

 

Things I do and which are hard to explain to others.

I talk to Angels, especially my Little Angel, Stella, every day.

I talk to guides, spirits, and plants.

I talk to myself, many times among people, and I truly don’t care about judgment.

I meditate and connect to love every morning, and then fears disappear.

I use white sage to smudge myself and my house to clear energies in my spaces.

I use smudging also during my meditation, before work sessions, in between clients, and when I’m feeling all the emotions surfacing.

I grow and use herbs in my magick.

I connect with the Kakao Spirit every morning to feel the light flowing through me.

I can feel people’s energies, fears and limitations they hold.

I can tell when I am drawn to the person or when I should set the clear boundaries.

I can tell at first conversation what old stories, traumas, and injuries are holding you back in your life.

I practice Wicca, white magic, and my personally developed hocus-pocus rituals.

I believe in the magic of yoni egg.

I play with crystals, essential oils and candles to make my every day feel like I am in the fantasy land.

I read tarot and oracle cards.

I practice naked meditation, dancing and self-touching to spark my femininity and sexuality.

I follow my cycle and celebrate every menstruation.

I love being a woman.

I believe in magic!

I see slowing down as the way to speed up and create more.

I don’t see the struggle as the way to create what feels great in my soul and heart. Flow is the thing.

I am totally not afraid of ghosts. I can be among them and feel comfortable.

I totally see and sense the fakeness and internal struggle of being a true self in others.

I know that whatever we put out there comes back, fully. The mantra is real!

Masks and fakeness is the thing which makes me feel sad for others.

I see appreciation and generosity as the most abundant practices.

I believe that money is meant to come and go. They are like a river.

I sense when someone is truly hurting.

I cry when I see a homeless person or the trash on the ground.

I believe the Earth has a soul and it’s truly hurting in those days.

I feel like eating plant-based foods makes me feel energized and in full alignment with the beauty around.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, even pain and hurt.

I love pain, this is my biggest teacher of all times.

I’ve been memorizing my past lives to understand what is going on today – the guilt, the shame, the fears and limitations I can’t seem to shake off. I see this for other people as well.

I believe 100% that our life is our responsibility and a choice we make every morning.

The choice is the only way to be happy.

I create sacred space, safe zone and authentic openness to everyone around me.

I am not sure why I wrote this today, but I was driven and inspired since few days to uncover the true me before everybody’s eyes.

Seeing myself unfolding before my eyes is so magical, beautiful, awakening and refreshing!

You never know who you are unless you ask the questions… who am I? Who am I meant to be?

 

  • Who are you?

 

  • What questions could you ask yourself today?

 

  • What do you do that is hard to explain to others?

 

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

You are totally fine being different than others

  • Do you feel like an outlier?
  • Do you feel that the lifestyle you live is different than those of others?
  • Do you hear that you are weird? Maybe that you are from
    different planet?
  • Do you feel bad not being accepted by friends and family?
  • Do you struggle with being social, like everyone else?
  • Do you feel that you need to be normal to be loved and accepted?

 

What does normal mean to you?!

 

Today I have received a picture from my friend. The picture showed myself, with my Masters of Science thesis. Nothing special, yet meaningful. More meaningful to my friend than me.

The picture showed me, in the yellow suit jacket, holding the bright blue covered thesis. Nothing unusual again. However, in 2005, back in Poland, everyone worn black, dark blue or gray suits to the diploma defense, having their thesis covered in similar colors. Those were the colors of elegancy, respect, and professionalism.

 

Yet, that girl, who came from other side of the country, with a huge smile on her face, broke all the rules. How dare she do that!

 

My friend said: “I remember you always with the huge smile on your face, never changing, always there. The brave girl, who I respected and looked up to so much. She was breaking all rules out there. For the first time in my life, being in your company showed me that it is ok to be different, to be outlier, and not follow the crowds and rules”.

I had no clue that I made such an impact on her that time.

 

She knew that being normal is what everyone needs to follow. She didn’t want to break rules because she was afraid of being rejected. Being different meant to not have friends at the college. She, like everyone of you, wanted to be loved and accepted.

Yet, few years later, she realized that being like everyone else is not being truly yourself.

 

  • Who are you trying to be?
  • Who do you truly want to be?

 

  • Are there discrepancies in both of those responses?

 

If yes, there has to be a shift within you, which will tell you the truth. You will know where the truth for yourself is.

The truth is that everyone of YOU want to be yourself. We all want to be loved, accepted, wanted, respected and needed as our true selves.

 

Yet, we put masks, hide who we are, and pretend who we are not. Then we are surprised that still we are not loved and accepted.

 

Raise your hand:

  • Would you like to hang out with a fake friend?
  • Would you like to marry a fake man?

 

Exactly!

Be real!

Be raw.

Be true to yourself.

 

There is no other way to the heart of many but through being yourself.

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

P.S. Izabela is an author of the forthcoming “TRUE IDENTITY” book [Summer 2018] teaching you how to rediscover, uncover and express your true self!!