Where is this freaking self-love coming from?

How many times did you ask yourself that question?

I did at least a million times.

I saw all these beautiful posts, mantras, affirmations, illustrations, quotes, poems, books and posters, and all I did was nodding my head and repeating after them – ‘oh yes, yes, I know… yes, I love myself, yes, I care about myself’ – over and over again.

Oh gosh, how they didn’t resonate with me.

Oh gosh, how they didn’t sound familiar to me at all.

The more I immersed myself into it, the more frustrated I was getting.

What is all about that self-love?

How one can freaking actually love themselves?

It simply didn’t click at all.

I felt at times, like either my mind didn’t get it, or I did something wrong, or simply – self-love doesn’t exist. It was all blurry-type of marketing fame and that was it all.

I was actually right, at least with the first part of my statement. My mind didn’t get it because self-love is not mind’s job. Period!

Honestly, anytime my mind started spinning its chatter, I seriously needed to seat with it and make sure it shuts up so I could do my thing.

I was also right with the second part of my statement, that I was doing something wrong.

I was actually doing everything upside down, and all over again. I got myself in such a bundle of wires and knots that there was no way to see it through. I got to that point that I needed to scream loud to ask for help. I was doing all of it wrong, including self-help tools I intenden to use.

Self-love is the easiest thing ever if we let it be!!!

Self-love, as the name indicates, comes from within. WITHIN!

Read that again. From inside of you!

It doesn’t come from artificial affirmations which someonetold us to use, and you have no clue even how to embody them.

Self-love doesn’t come from a million self-care practices, amazing spa weekends and red roses.

Self-love doesn’t come from being needy and expecting others to make you happy. How unfair is that!

So where is it coming from, huh?

Here is my answer:

I was looking for self-love in money and a great job. And it didn’t show up. I was looking for it in validation, cuddles and external love from boyfriends and it didn’t show up either. I was looking for it even in the healthy lifestyle industry, by being fit, eating well, looking sexy, desired and admirable…. Well, it didn’t show up in there as well.

The more I was ‘looking’ for, the more I was discovering that it may actually not exists.

The beautiful self-love, that one I truly desired, and wanted to be a part of my life, was nowhere to be seen.

How did I want the self-love to show up in my life?

  • I wanted to be depression-free so I could have life purpose to get up every day.
  • I wanted to be suicidal-thoughts-free so I could appreciate the gift of life.
  • I wanted to be bulimia-free so I could be grateful for the body which did so much for me every day.
  • I wanted to be self-hatred-free so I could freaking finally love myself.

Purely. Unconditionally. Confidently. Authentically. Joyfully.

It came to me.

It came in a form I would have never expected.

Oh, how sad and mad, frustrated and angry, disappointed and upset I was.

And at the same time, how relieved I felt. How happy, truly, purely, authentically and joyfully happy!

It came in the form of the love from WITHIN.

❤ The moment when I cried feeling sadness, but I sat with it to understand why I was sad.

❤ The moment when I was alone with myself and stayed there to experience who I was.

❤ The moment when I joyfully danced and jumped in the park knowing that this made my heart smile.

❤ The moment when saying ‘NO’ was a blissful experience.

❤ The moment when I saw my depression as a cry of my soul to be loved and appreciated.

❤ The moment when the most important relationship I wanted to nurture was with myself first.

❤ The moment when my childhood abuse memories were coming back and I thanked them for showing up.

❤ The moment when I rebuild the connection with my Inner Child and saw her pain caused by me.

❤ The moment when looking at my naked body wasn’t filled with willingness to self-violate anymore.

❤ The moment when I was literally apologizing for every part of my body for abusing it for so long.

❤ The moment when I got my first period after over 15 years of faking it and getting rid of.

❤ The moment when I enjoyed being braless because I finally loved my femininity.

❤ The moment when I became a friend with my pain, weakness and mistakes – being grateful for their teachings.

❤ The moment when I literally could touch, smell and even taste my own blood knowing that this is freaking me.

And that will be me. Until I die.

Did I want to treat myself and my Inner Child in the abusive way as I was abused in my past?

Did I want to waste my body, my soul and heart because I didn’t see it as it ‘should be’?

No. Not anymore.

I understood.

That was me. That is me. Whole. Unique. Myself. With my ebbs and flows. With my vulnerabilities and superpowers. Enough. Loved. Joyful.

Me. My body, my cycle, my blood, my creative being!

Me. Naked. Dancing. Braless. Beautiful. Blissful. Sad and happy.

All of it and even more. ME.

This is a pure love I was longing for all my life!

It came to me!

And I was ready for her!

I want to express here the deepest gratitude that most of it wouldn’t be obtained without the help of amazing coaches and mentors I had on the path to rediscovering myself and ‘finding’that love which was truly always here, within. With some of them, I worked in person, being a part of their programs and tribes, and some of them impacted me very powerfully via their books, materials, podcasts and self-expression viadifferent platforms. 
Zlata Sushchik, Melinda Collins, Samantha Skelly, ElizabethDiAlto, Claire Baker, Danielle LaPorte, Gabby Bernstein, Red School with Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer as the founders, Lisa Lister, and many more I haven’t listed, yet being so empowering on the journey to my own femininity.

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

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UNIVERSE IS A FUNKY PLACE

 

“Everything that happens in your life is the best possible thing that can happen to you”

– Chris Prentiss

 

  • Every single moment of your life is the moment YOU have a choice to make.

  • Every single moment of your life is the moment YOU desire and it’s given to you.

 

The question is, how do you want to receive it?

 

I am going to show you the THREE ways how to receive whatever is meant for you!

 

GRATITUDE

— If friends you invited for a dinner won’t say thank you, would you invite them again? —

Say thank you. Give thank you.

 

* First and foremost, appreciate Yourself. Be grateful for the life you live, for the world around you, for the loved ones, for the money and the house you have. However, be even more grateful for feelings and emotions. Be mindful of your inner voice and instincts.

* Appreciate your loved ones. Be amazed at small things such a smile, a gesture, and a hug. Be aware of the beauty around you in the other people’s eyes, in your spouse’s body language, in your kid’s smile.

* Appreciate your friends and co-workers. They are in your life for a reason, to create that beautiful life story of yours. Be mindful of what your life might have been without them.

* Appreciate the stranger. Discover the magic behind the THANK YOU expressed towards the person you just passed on the way to work or in the store. Be amazed by how that simple courtesy can impact that person and you in a positive way.

* Appreciate the Universe/God/Higher Power/Divine. Would you be who you are without all the moments and experiences in your life? Be understanding that expressing appreciation for what you already have will just give you more of it.

* Say and give THANK YOU to your life: moments, events, people, items and whatever else you are grateful for WITHOUT COMPARISONS TO OTHERS. That creates the powerful mindset you want to walk into your day with.

 

HOW TO DO THAT?

** write every morning and evening what are you grateful for – be honest and feel it!

** ask yourself why are you grateful for that – be honest!

** ask yourself what would you do to make someone else happy – be honest!

** ask yourself how could you contribute to tomorrow’s day to make it worthy – be honest!

** say THANK YOU to stranger, co-worker, friend, or loved one today!

** say THANK YOU to someone who you didn’t talk to for more than 6 months!

 

RESULTS:

As your day goes, by appreciating yourself, you will feel lighter, happier and encouraged to take upon any challenge you may face during a day.

As your day goes, by spreading the appreciation around you, you will experience more love, smiles, kindness, and help from other people.

 

 

LOVE

Self-love is different than self-care.

Sure, get yourself a nice haircut, manicure or buy yourself flowers. It makes your physical body feel loved.

However, practice self-love by making your soul and heart feel loved, too.

 

* Light the candle in a place where there are nothing and nobody except for yourself. Feel the silence. Feel your body. Feel your anxieties. Feel your happiness. Feel your inner voice.

* Just be, just listen.

* Is this moment making you feel uncomfortable? If yes, that’s great. Moments like that bring a lot of teachings.

* Your inner voice is sending you an important message. Is it because you feel pain, or maybe are miserable at work, or maybe it is the lack of love in your life, including from yourself? Whatever it is, be in that feeling.

* Marinate yourself in that feeling. Say them out loud, write them down, read them again.

* Cry if you feel like.

* Smile if you want.

* Dance if you desire so.

 

There are not bad or good emotions. They all mean something to us. They give us a cue of what is happening in our life, in our deepest soul.

Escaping from the emotions and signs your body is showing you will just extend the pain you are living in.

 

HOW TO DO THAT?

** mediate in the morning before you even grab the phone

** wake up earlier than others so you have a quiet moment for your inner voice to listen

** give yourself few minutes during the day to breath, to space out, to daydream, to escape from everything around you

** journal all your emotions, don’t feel ashamed or judged – it is you who you want to be comfortable with at first

** write the letter to yourself from the perspective of the inner women and inner you – be kind, loving, non-judgmental and critic-free

** be aware of all good things around you.

 

RESULTS:

The more you take care of yourself, the more love you are able to spread.

The more you love yourself, the more compassion is around you.

The more you respect yourself, the more kindness will be in your presence.

 

 

INTENTION

What are you choosing to focus on? How is that serving or hindering you?

Do you visualize your future as if it’s happening now?

Do you see yourself as a successful, happy, balanced and empowered woman?

 

The intentions are your thoughts, desires and inner voice towards the vision you place ourselves in! The way you see yourself walking, feeling, reacting, living and being in the future, that’s the way you will become.

 

* Is it that you want to be anxiety-free? – imagine that lightness!

* Is it that you want to be debt-free? – picture that financial freedom!

* Is it that you want to be loved? – feel that you are loved!

* Is it that you want to be respected? – act that way!

* Is it that you want to be successful? – live like a successful person!

* Is it that you want to be a great boss? – be a great person now!

 

Negative intentions will keep you limited, positive ones will move you forward.

 

HOW TO DO THAT?

** write a letter to yourself NOW from yourself THEN and read it every day!

** practice affirmations every single day by using I AM statement.

** believe in yourself truly!

** see in you the person you want to become!

** feel how it is going to be when you are that person you want to become.

** appreciate the wonderful person you are NOW!

 

RESULTS:

Manifest and create an image of where you want to be are your major vision.

You can see it, feel it, and be there! All your existence will work together with higher powers to get you there!

Your mind will focus on it by creating the opportunities.

Your soul will feel aligned and peaceful.

The Universe is sending any cues your way so you could become who you so deeply desire to be!

 

Be mindful of what you are asking for beYOUtiful😊

 

PROMPT: What resonated with you the most?

 
Check out that video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihGkwARehAQ&t=377s

 

[The teachings in this blog come from my book “The True Identity” – publishing early 2019]

 

Through bulimia to self-discovery

 

I was bulimic.

I hated myself.

 

Every day, I could see all the ads on self-love and overcoming eating disorders. Women of all sizes loving themselves.

‘How do they do that?’ – I asked myself every time.

 

‘What’s that hype about self-love?’

‘How does it work?’

‘What does it actually mean?’

‘How does that even feel to love oneself?’

 

I felt like I would learn the Chinese language faster than loving myself. I couldn’t picture the day when I could possibly like myself, all of it, the body, the mind, the life I had, all of it! I had an extremely hard time imagining this feeling.

 

I expected it to feel lightning, freeing, even fulfilling. Possibly expanding. Oh goodness, what should I do to maybe – just maybe – one day love myself? For just a minute, so I could experience that unconditional love to myself.

 

And…

that day came.

It was another extreme day with bulimia. Three times purging left my body weak again. It wasn’t new to me; it shouldn’t be new to my body either. The weakness kept me from being able to hold even a book. I felt exhausted. I felt tired. All I sensed was a pain in my stomach, a stabbing headache, and burning eyes. I couldn’t cry anymore.

I sat on the bed and looked in the mirror. I saw myself, overwhelmed, tired, and in pain. My skin was grey, my eyes were matte. There was not a single sign of life in me. A smile was foreign to my face. Joy was long forgotten. Compassion, kindness, and love didn’t exist.

I had no self-love.

I wanted to rip my skin. I hated my body badly. The hate in my eyes was the worst I have ever seen. I have never hated anyone in my life as I did myself right then, not even my abusive father.

That was a typical day for me, since I was a teenager, until…

 

A breath of my soul surfaced. A tiny tap on my shoulder told me to ask for help. I had no clue what to ask for, or how someone could help me.

 

But deep in my guts, I knew I won’t handle this anymore by myself. Deep down there I felt little voice asking me to seek help. That scared voice wanted me just to try, one more time. Ask!

‘I can’t do that anymore. Please help me, whoever is out there, please. I need help!!!” – I whispered.

 

And I went to bed.

Next couple of days were very ordinary. Today I know they were very special. Things felt on my lap unexpectedly. Not even remembering how and when anything happened, I was already filling in the application for the life coaching program.

 

I trusted.

The day when I had a call with the program coach, I knew that no matter what would I need to pay for it, or what effort would I need to make, I was already in. That was my chance! That was my help! That was the answer!

 

I trusted!

I started with learning about presence. Putting myself in the present moment to ‘just be’ was at first uncomfortable, yet interesting. I tried to meditate already two years before, but now the practice took me on a totally different path. I felt anxious, but I enjoyed it, more and more.

A connection between my body and mind started to emerge. I started asking my body what it likes to do and how it feels. Feeling into the visceral ‘yes’ and ‘no’ was a huge fun. I felt like a kid who just found a toy in the sandbox.

I began to recognize that it is okay to feel. Emotions were like clouds, they would come and they would pass. They didn’t identify me. I had never felt so relieved. I knew that it was safe for me to express my feelings. I tested it even in my daily life and it worked. I was so excited!

I was able to create a relationship between pain and joy, hurt and kindness, abuse and playfulness, anxiety and compassion, and fear and trust. What a combination. What a discovery – the pain was here for me to heal. The pain was here for me to learn. Triggers and fears were my teachers! At this point, I knew my life was already changed. I felt heavenly amused.

Being alone with my thoughts, emotions, and feelings was extremely transformational. Being alone was nurturing. Focused breath work was recharging. All those tools I had with me, all the time, and I never knew how to tap into the source and use them. I was capable of being, dreaming, loving, and forgiving.

It was exciting and anxious at the same time as I connected to my Inner Child. Memories from my abusive childhood were readily accessible, yet very scary. I blocked my memories from early age. Once I started discovering them, I wanted to run away at first.

I was in a huge pain seeing the hurt and pain of my mom and siblings. I was angry at my dad. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I couldn’t focus or meditate. I cried day after day. Forgiveness of him didn’t feel accessible, yet I knew in order for me to disconnect from the past I needed to let it go.

However, through that work, my patience and acceptance of those events and emotions had grown. I started healing. I realized that forgiveness would provide me with lightness, freedom, empowerment and unlimited beautiful energy.

So, I proceeded and I succeeded. I was very proud of myself to look into my dad’s eyes and not feel hate toward him anymore. I was so happy. I knew I can love unconditionally, even abuser of my childhood. I felt compassion like never before.

 

I felt reborn as a woman and Goddess, too. I became a woman who suddenly felt her body, sensed her emotions, desired sexual pleasure, expressed her true voice, exuded confidence and sensuality. I shifted from hating every inch of my body, vagina, and breasts to wanting to be naked. I wanted to dance, make love, and touch myself. I wanted to connect to every part of my body and express my love.

 

A little tap on my shoulder on that day started a beautiful and magical process of rediscovering my true self and uncovering my femininity. Vulnerability and sensuality became my superpowers.

 

There is a helpful hand waiting for you. You just need to ask for it and be open to receiving it.

Ask for it because you deserve it.

Ask for it because your voice, gifts and Inner Child deserve to speak up and live the beautiful life of alignment and lightness!

 

Be the love and light for yourself!  Be YOU!

❤️

The path to redefining and rediscovering the love in my life

“If you don’t believe in love, what’s the point in living?” -Ron Swanson

 

I remember the beginning of the journey to so-called ‘self-love’. The task was to tell myself twelve times the affirmation “I love myself”. To made this more profound and actually working, I was supposed to be looking at myself in the mirror, straight into my own eyes. All was supposed to happen after I woke up, so no other thoughts were in my mind yet.

The task was easy in its description, yet it was the hardest one I have ever endured. Or at least tried.

You may ask me, ‘did it work”?

‘Is this why you are now so self-loving?’

 

Unfortunately, not.

That task was extremely hard to perform and follow through. The entire process felt heavy on my heart. I became more resentful, and actually more resistant every day. The more I was repeating these words, the more disbelieving I felt.

  • I started doubting the actual task and its effects.
  • I was wondering how other women managed to go through it and get to that beautiful place of self-love.
  • I doubted the affirmations itself, too.

 

Today, I believe that affirmations work, but only when they are aligned with your core desired values.

I believe that before we start repeating the affirmations, we need to evaluate our core desired values first. It is crucial to see and feel what you are actually craving the most… and what it is that needs your attention the most.

 

I started asking myself the questions, which I invite you to ask yourself today, too:

  • What did you love doing as a kid?
  • What do you crave in the life?
  • What comes so naturally to you and it flows with an ease?
  • What matters to you the most?
  • What sparks your heart and brings a smile on your face?
  • What do you stand for?
  • What you can’t tolerate at all?
  • What are you VERY CLEAR that you DO NOT want in your life?

 

The clear list of things I truly desired and things I knew deep inside of my heart that I never wanted to deal with was a start point to start talking to myself in a more kind, positive and loving way.

That core desired feelings allowed me to see what I wanted to commit to in my life.

The clear and pure desires were the foundation to set up the self-love on.

 

I knew what I wanted in my life.

I didn’t know HOW to get that, yet. But ‘how’ wasn’t important then. The most important thing was to rewire my mind onto the path of affirming beautiful words and beliefs to myself.

 

So, I started by telling myself:

‘I may not love myself yet, but I am on the path to living the life where accepting and liking my body will be natural and easy.’

‘I may not know how to nurture myself yet, but I am totally on the path to start with small self-care practices and see how they make me feel.’

 

I kept telling myself that phrase that ‘I am in the process…’ every day the entire day and everything was getting easier. I knew what I desired and now I was collaborating with my own mind.

My mind was very happy by these conversations, and all affirmations felt compatible with what I truly wanted in my life. I spontaneously was choosing better actions and steps throughout the day and that felt so amazing.

Constant dialog with myself that I was in the process of becoming the highest version of myself lightened me up and motivated to keep doing what I was doing.

More and more beautiful things started falling into place. There were bumps, but it became easier to walk through them. There were pains and tears, but acceptance was something that I was choosing then.

 

Today I know, that I would never ever change the trajectory of my own journey towards self-love. I know that the best gift I could ever give myself is true, deep and sparkly self-love I have to myself now.

 

I know that there is not a better gift than the guidance to self-love that I could give to anybody I care about.

 

*** How did your journey to self-love look like?

*** How does this journey look like right now?

 

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

Enjoyment of the moment

 

“WHEN I STAND BEFORE GOD AT THE END OF MY LIFE, I WOULD HOPE THAT I WOULD NOT HAVE A SINGLE BIT OF TALENT AND TIME LEFT, AND COULD SAY THAT I USED EVERYTHING YOU GAVE ME, GOD!”

– Erma Bombeck

 

“I want to be happy in my life!”

 

That’s the most repeated phrase after “I love you”. Happiness is that ONE thing we all chase and long for. The happiness has as many faces as people on this planet.

 

As I sit on my pillow, my hand writes down one of the most beautiful words, which seemed like a cry of my soul. The happy cry, the aha-moment cry, the Eureka cry – the realization cry of what happiness is for me.

Today I share with you that deep, vulnerable and empowering desires!

 

“I truly want to be happy in my life!

I don’t want to do what doesn’t spark me.

The last few weeks of hustling to post the most inspiring words on social media, following all other inspiring coaches and women, comparing myself to others just made me feel very fearful, miserable, unhappy, not present and not appreciative of what I have right now in my life.

I realized that the hustle may not be for me.

The rat race and money chasing may totally be out of my life or happiness definition.

 

It hit me how much I want to organically inspire, motivate, help and be of service to others, just be being the truest version of myself.

 

And, I also want to enjoy life! I truly do.

I want to enjoy time with my partner instead of being stressed about not doing enough.

I want to enjoy the healthy food and have fun with it instead of being miserable and obsessed with my body image.

I want to enjoy the movements of my body, workouts, and dance instead of punishing and hurting my body.

I want to be healthy and fit and go places instead of being overstressed and frozen in the hustle mode.

I want to enjoy the cozy, loving and safe place and home instead of chasing huge and cold villas.

I want to enjoy my garden full of herbs and nature instead of feeling that this is a waste of time.

I want to enjoy doing new things and build memories with my fiancée and friends instead of being a workaholic.

I want to connect with people on a personal level instead of being fake and copy-monkey social media guru.

I want to enjoy small groups meetings and retreats where true connection, magic, love, self-expression, and beautiful transformations happen instead of hiding from the overwhelm of this world.

 

I want to feel happy and proud of myself at the end of the day. I want to know that I did everything in all my abilities to love and be loved. I want to be content knowing that my time was very well spent with all I have. I want to live being appreciative of my life every second.

 

I want to give it a time – a time to listen to myself, a time to hear what the Universe has to say, a time to flow with what it’s meant for me.

I want to focus on my emotions, body, and cycle.

I want to be appreciative of every moment.

I want to express love every day.

I want to be in the flow.

I want to just be, in the present moment

And I want to be patient to be able to see and feel what lights me up. “

 

What does happiness mean to you? ❤

 

 

 

 

 

The road to the unknown

 

One year ago, I was on the road from New Mexico to Wyoming. I was in a moving truck with all my life squeezed in there. Many things got sold or left behind, though. Material things didn’t have much meaning to me at this point in my life.

I didn’t know yet that soon my life was going to change totally!

And all I could do was to trust that all would be well.

I trusted so much that during the 12-hour drive I didn’t hesitate for a second about my decision. There was no single thought of turning back. I knew I was driving to a new me, to a new life, and to new experiences.

I trusted fully!

 

You may ask me, what has changed?

And this is my answer.

 

Depression is my history.

I recall being depressed and suicidal over the last 15 years, with some extreme ups and down. I never knew that in order for me to overcome this disorder I needed at first to feel safe – safe to be, safe to cry, safe to be down, safe to express what I feel!!! Once I felt the safety in every single cell of my body, the awakening came. I realized that I was loved for who I was because it felt safe. It felt loving, too.

The dark thoughts, self-doubts, and fearfulness may still be present – but the way I react to them today is a totally new game. I observe when they come, how they show up, how dark they are and how cloudy my brain gets – I see them and I refuse to let these experiences control my life.

Emotions are OK.

Pain is my superpower.

I accept it, I love it and I don’t push it away. I know they are all here to teach me how to be a better person every day.

I learned to rest and recharge instead of allowing darkness to overtake me.

I learned to take a nap, instead of going into a self-hateful thinking pattern.

I learned to journal or meditate when I am sad or in pain, so I can cry and cry and feel amazing about expressing all of it!

I learned to pause or even step back when it feels heavy.

I learned that it is only me who has a choice of either being happy or miserable.

So, I remind myself every day that I am loved, safe to express and be, beautiful and whole, worthy and freaking unstoppable. I trusted then and keep trusting today!

 

My personal growth journey went through so many huge shifts that one year ago none of it was even in my dreams.

I was battling severe bulimia, extreme panic attacks, and the biggest obsession over the weight, food and exercising and that saddened me. It felt like it would never end and that there is no hope. Yet, every single time I was experiencing any of it, I managed to look at myself in the mirror and remind myself that there is a way out of it.

It was the hardest part of my entire journey – to believe and trust in something that logically didn’t seem like it was ever coming. I had no clue how that would look like or show up. But I knew I could be free of all of these things. I knew that many other women got there, so I could too!

I trusted, and that trust brought me to the freedom and the most beautiful life so far! Freedom from obsession over food or body-image, freedom from panic attacks, freedom from bulimia and freedom from the fear! I trusted then and keep trusting today!

 

The interpersonal communication and the way it’s done was a huge turn over in my life.

I was told by a few of my ex-partners that I don’t know how to love and how to communicate in the relationship. That’s why I believed that all my relationships didn’t work because I was a problem.

How mistaken I was. I allowed other’s insecurities and inabilities to be projected on me and I took it as my own stories and beliefs.

All I needed was to feel safe. Again, safety was my thing. Once I discovered that being safe is the happy place for me and my Inner Child, then the magic started pouring down from the sky.

Without a person who supported me on this journey by meeting me half-way, that wouldn’t be possible. Creating the safe, non-judgmental and open space for both of us allowed me to blossom. Once that started, I could show how loving and caring of a person I was.

After all, I never thought I could have a relationship like this – trustworthy, respectful, safe, loving, supportive, open and honest!

 

Acceptance of my emotionality, sensitivity, vulnerability, sensuality, and desires was a great step forward.

Oh well, let me tell you – those qualities never aligned with me – they felt weak, whiny, and not allowed in the big world of success. That girl was all about being powerful, never weak and never crying, strong and doing it all by herself!

Well, that is not true today and I am so glad to take that mask off and reveal the true person.

I felt like an outsider or from a different plant, as I called myself.

I could easily become distracted.

I could feel melancholy for no particular reason.

I could feel other people’s emotions intensely.

I could easily take on the mask of Wonder Woman or Femme Fatale to “fit in” in a society that hasn’t appreciated my intuitive ways.

I knew I was super emotional, with extreme waves even during a single day.

I am a nurturer, caregiver and I cry when I see bad things happening to any human being, including homeless or junkie.

I am sensitive as hell, and that is another superpower of mine.

And I freaking love that about me today. I don’t buy into the story of being too sensitive or PMS. I learned to be with all my emotions, the dark and light ones.

I learned to tap into my vulnerability and use it as the most creative and empowering tool I ever had. I decided to reconnect with my intuition and inner voice so I could be the truest version of myself.

 

The last, but not the least, is my rediscovery of the part of me which I managed to suppress for the longest – the femininity and woman in me.

I hated being a woman for most of my life. I wanted to have the testosterone to build muscles, I didn’t want to be a crybaby when someone hurt me, I wanted to be a buddy for most of my men friends, I wanted to be treated as a strong person. No vulnerability, sensitivity, tears or whining were allowed. I was happy for not having a period for most of my life while being on the pill. I used the PCOS diagnosis as a relief so I didn’t need to get pregnant. I wanted to hide my hips and breasts. OMG, I could list these things forever.

Today, that part of me seems to be the most mysterious, magical and hiding so much more to learn, express and live by.

Today I track my period which came back in January 2018. I am excited when I am bleeding because that means I am a woman, still or again, whichever way I look at it.

I am excited to be with the moon outside and soak in the energy of the beautiful Luna.

I am happy doing self-massage, dance to hot and sexual music or meditate naked to love every part of my body.

I would never imagine being at this point just a year ago!

 

Life is beautiful, with every single moment of it – either emotional and sad, or happy and joyful, either with heavy experiences or lightness and breakthroughs.

The number of gifts that life delivers to us within such a short time just like one year – it is truly beyond the imagination of the logical mind. Only the heart and soul can embrace that!

So, I do it, every single day. And I trust!

 

 

Things I do and which are hard to explain to others.

I talk to Angels, especially my Little Angel, Stella, every day.

I talk to guides, spirits, and plants.

I talk to myself, many times among people, and I truly don’t care about judgment.

I meditate and connect to love every morning, and then fears disappear.

I use white sage to smudge myself and my house to clear energies in my spaces.

I use smudging also during my meditation, before work sessions, in between clients, and when I’m feeling all the emotions surfacing.

I grow and use herbs in my magick.

I connect with the Kakao Spirit every morning to feel the light flowing through me.

I can feel people’s energies, fears and limitations they hold.

I can tell when I am drawn to the person or when I should set the clear boundaries.

I can tell at first conversation what old stories, traumas, and injuries are holding you back in your life.

I practice Wicca, white magic, and my personally developed hocus-pocus rituals.

I believe in the magic of yoni egg.

I play with crystals, essential oils and candles to make my every day feel like I am in the fantasy land.

I read tarot and oracle cards.

I practice naked meditation, dancing and self-touching to spark my femininity and sexuality.

I follow my cycle and celebrate every menstruation.

I love being a woman.

I believe in magic!

I see slowing down as the way to speed up and create more.

I don’t see the struggle as the way to create what feels great in my soul and heart. Flow is the thing.

I am totally not afraid of ghosts. I can be among them and feel comfortable.

I totally see and sense the fakeness and internal struggle of being a true self in others.

I know that whatever we put out there comes back, fully. The mantra is real!

Masks and fakeness is the thing which makes me feel sad for others.

I see appreciation and generosity as the most abundant practices.

I believe that money is meant to come and go. They are like a river.

I sense when someone is truly hurting.

I cry when I see a homeless person or the trash on the ground.

I believe the Earth has a soul and it’s truly hurting in those days.

I feel like eating plant-based foods makes me feel energized and in full alignment with the beauty around.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, even pain and hurt.

I love pain, this is my biggest teacher of all times.

I’ve been memorizing my past lives to understand what is going on today – the guilt, the shame, the fears and limitations I can’t seem to shake off. I see this for other people as well.

I believe 100% that our life is our responsibility and a choice we make every morning.

The choice is the only way to be happy.

I create sacred space, safe zone and authentic openness to everyone around me.

I am not sure why I wrote this today, but I was driven and inspired since few days to uncover the true me before everybody’s eyes.

Seeing myself unfolding before my eyes is so magical, beautiful, awakening and refreshing!

You never know who you are unless you ask the questions… who am I? Who am I meant to be?

 

  • Who are you?

 

  • What questions could you ask yourself today?

 

  • What do you do that is hard to explain to others?

 

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

You are totally fine being different than others

  • Do you feel like an outlier?
  • Do you feel that the lifestyle you live is different than those of others?
  • Do you hear that you are weird? Maybe that you are from
    different planet?
  • Do you feel bad not being accepted by friends and family?
  • Do you struggle with being social, like everyone else?
  • Do you feel that you need to be normal to be loved and accepted?

 

What does normal mean to you?!

 

Today I have received a picture from my friend. The picture showed myself, with my Masters of Science thesis. Nothing special, yet meaningful. More meaningful to my friend than me.

The picture showed me, in the yellow suit jacket, holding the bright blue covered thesis. Nothing unusual again. However, in 2005, back in Poland, everyone worn black, dark blue or gray suits to the diploma defense, having their thesis covered in similar colors. Those were the colors of elegancy, respect, and professionalism.

 

Yet, that girl, who came from other side of the country, with a huge smile on her face, broke all the rules. How dare she do that!

 

My friend said: “I remember you always with the huge smile on your face, never changing, always there. The brave girl, who I respected and looked up to so much. She was breaking all rules out there. For the first time in my life, being in your company showed me that it is ok to be different, to be outlier, and not follow the crowds and rules”.

I had no clue that I made such an impact on her that time.

 

She knew that being normal is what everyone needs to follow. She didn’t want to break rules because she was afraid of being rejected. Being different meant to not have friends at the college. She, like everyone of you, wanted to be loved and accepted.

Yet, few years later, she realized that being like everyone else is not being truly yourself.

 

  • Who are you trying to be?
  • Who do you truly want to be?

 

  • Are there discrepancies in both of those responses?

 

If yes, there has to be a shift within you, which will tell you the truth. You will know where the truth for yourself is.

The truth is that everyone of YOU want to be yourself. We all want to be loved, accepted, wanted, respected and needed as our true selves.

 

Yet, we put masks, hide who we are, and pretend who we are not. Then we are surprised that still we are not loved and accepted.

 

Raise your hand:

  • Would you like to hang out with a fake friend?
  • Would you like to marry a fake man?

 

Exactly!

Be real!

Be raw.

Be true to yourself.

 

There is no other way to the heart of many but through being yourself.

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

P.S. Izabela is an author of the forthcoming “TRUE IDENTITY” book [Summer 2018] teaching you how to rediscover, uncover and express your true self!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The new approach to self-care

We all know what self-care is, don’t we? There are many blog posts out there to teach us how to take care of self by getting a new haircut, manicure, or even a bath with essential oils. We all like to take care of that beautiful appearance of our bodies, and that makes us feel worthy, wanted, loved and fulfilled.

However, the next day, when the haircut gets messy, and the beautiful aroma of the bath is gone, we come back to the realization of being unworthy, fearful, unconfident and wanting more from life. Where is that magical benefit of the self-care practices we just put so much effort (and money) into?

It’s gone. It is gone as anything else what treats the surface layer of the problem and never digs deeper. Why would we want to even dig deeper to discover that there is more to work on, maybe more painful and little less pretty?

Self-care is the care of self. And the ‘SELF’ consists of more than just the physical appearance and the body. Don’t take me wrong, it is very important to take care of the external body as well – we want to be fit, healthy, look pretty and attractive! It is actually necessary!

However, there is much more to it than we ever thought.

There are your mindset, your heart, and your spirit, which are craving your attention and a little bit of your time to get the care and nourishment you are giving right now to just the physical body!

I am talking about mental, emotional and spiritual self-care!

 

Today I would love to share with you why the other three layers of self-care are important and how to implement them in your everyday life!

 

Mental self-care

It is crucial to work on the mindset and self-talk in your life. Directing that mindset of yours onto the most positive and empowering path every single time is crucial for the wellbeing. The brain is the most flexible organ when it comes to training, rewiring and reprogramming its functions. The mindset is what creates your reality, and the thinking process is what will propel you to take actions you need to grow and progress in any area of your life.

Start today with daily affirmations and mantras. Catch yourself when thoughts are creeping in to tell you that you can’t do it and rewire them into the ones telling you that you are worthy and capable of doing it. Practice complimenting yourself every day, for every single thing you have or you did. Positive pep-talk is what will bring your mindset awareness of where you are headed to. Be mindful of how you talk about yourself to others, too.

 

Emotional self-care

Emotions and feelings are present in your life every day. There are no bad or good emotions. They are here to serve their purpose: to teach you, redirect your attention to another point or warn you about the upcoming events. It is very important that you give yourself the time to check in with your body and your emotions every single day. It is crucial to give your body the necessary care when it needs, especially when the emotions are very painful or overwhelming.

Practice that by starting your day with single-word body check-in: how do I feel today in my body? Once you recognize what it is that you feel, observe it, get curious why is it there. Don’t judge, rather ask yourself what you can do today to strengthen that emotion, honor it or make yourself feel better despite the pain. Journaling is a beautiful practice to let all of it go out of your mind and heart, pour it onto the paper during free-writing and distance yourself from it. Once that’s done you can see how your emotions don’t identify you, rather teach you some message or lesson. Be open to it, kind and acknowledge the fact that you are feeling them. Emotions are like the clouds on the beautiful blue sky.

 

Spiritual self-care

The spirituality is the connection with your highest self. It is literally taking care of being true and real, as the highest self would love to be. It is taking care of your deep needs; your alignment, lightness, freedom and what sparks your life every day. Without that deepest connection, the other layers of self-care will work for just a while until the spirit will scream for your attention again. Without the happy core which is your spirit, there is no happy heart, mind or body.

You can start doing that by meditation. However, what I found the most transformational for me is the simplest task on this planet. It is just laying down on the floor and doing nothing! As simple as that, yet extremely challenging. Stop thinking, planning, analyzing, judging. Put on hold even the emotions which you experience at that moment. Simply tell your brain and heart that right now there is a moment of silence and nothingness and just be. Another beautiful practice is the one I shared on my YouTube video, and that one is priceless! Trust me!!!

 

As you can see, the human being is little more complex than just physical body, its anatomy and physiology. It is a beautiful mind, heart and spirit and that makes you unique. The more you take care of all four layers of yourself, the more wholeness and worthiness you can bring into your existence.

 

How do you take care of yourself?

I would love to hear your ideas! Share them with us so we all can create beautiful routines and rituals for ourselves!

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

 

 

 

My daily rituals of self-care

I get asked more often what I do during my morning and evening routines. I get curious questions about what makes me feel grounded, rested, taken care of and recharged for my day to come. Many mysterious pictures of my ‘rituals’ on my social media platform bring more attention than ever.

What are the self-care practices of a busy and successful woman, and a life, love and spiritual coach?

Let me start by defining what actually self-care is. In my book “The True Identity” [publishing in Summer 2018] this is a big part of the process towards rediscovering your true potentials and authentic self. How come, some of you may ask?

Self-care is not limited to this what the modern world is assuming is enough and considered necessary. Massage, face mask, the visit to the spa or hot springs, haircut or manicure are some of the most practiced ones. How little of the actual self-care is that, though.

Self-care is the care of ‘self’, as the phrase says by itself.

The ‘self’ consists of the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical component.

Taking care of your physical body only is not enough for the well-being of the ‘self’. The new haircut won’t make you feel rested, recharged, beautiful inside and out and confident without the care of your self-talk, attitude, daily affirmations, thinking process, actions and connection to the higher ‘self’. There is much more into feeling nurtured and energized than a manicure. There is a way more beautiful way to feel worthy without an expensive weekend at the spa resort.

The total self-care must consist of the actions and practices towards nurturing all aspects of the person you are. Anybody of you can list right now plenty of things to do to take care of your physical body. However, what can you do to take care of your mental, emotional and spiritual ‘self’ today?

My rituals and routines

Every day, I start my day with washing my face with cold water, while giving myself a pep talk with plenty of positive affirmations and mantras. Then I prepare a tea and a water with apple cider. I drink them during my morning, as I don’t eat breakfast earlier than noon.  Sometimes I play some relaxing music during that process, sometimes I am in silence listening to birds outside.

Then I proceed to my sacred space, which is a little corner in my room, with my white meditation pillow, altar, and all magical tools. The space you want to create (altar, tools, pillow, candles, incense etc.) is purely personalized. You make your space and place the way you want. Don’t let anybody tell you what MUST be there and what not, it is your own calling, taste and creation of what you want to have in your sacred space. Make it cozy, comfortable and pretty. Use it as an expression of yourself.

I burn the candles and incense, I meditate (whatever style I feel like doing), and I do breathe work. There is no time limit for me unless I have other obligations to do afterward. But those don’t stop me from doing it at all or don’t make me rush as well. I set the intention each time to just be and to ground myself so I can go into a day and show up fully. That way the practice, no matter if it’s just 5 minutes or 30 minutes, is beautiful, relaxing, grounding and opening my mind and heart to whatever day brings.

After that I journal. I journal what my meditation brought up. I journal every day the gratitude, my blessings, and abundance.

I also draw the card from whatever card deck I am called to, either tarot or oracle cards. I love them and I have pretty big and beautiful collection of them. I play with them at any time I feel like. In the morning if I have a question, or I am concerned or wondering what to do that day. During the day when I want to have a little break between clients or activities, so they take my mind away from the worldly concerns and bring me back to the present, to the art they display or messages they show me. They are my personal tools to ground me and bring awareness to the beauty around.

 

During a day I make sure I have frequent breaks. I work with people, outside of the house and from the house so it could be very demanding to be on the go all the time and then not have a break. It may sound luxury and many of you will tell me that I am lucky having a possibility for a break. I created that myself, so you can do as well. I needed to because the hustle and constant work were bringing me closer to burn out rather than to being productive and loving what I do. I love my job and I want to show up fully energized and positive to it.

Breaks give me a little breather and benefit to recommit to myself and be more focused afterward. During my breaks, I can do some of the following: a little walk, water the plants in the garden, listen to motivational video or relaxing music, play with the tarot cards, get a snack, take a power nap, stretch, dance or text a friend.

Many times, I simply do nothing and I found that the best practice ever. I lay down on the floor and just stare at the ceiling. I don’t think and I am just breathing and being. I love this simple, free tool to reset! Try it yourself! It is extremely powerful!

 

In the evening my time is shorter, as I am more tired and I want to make sure I get 7 hours (or more) of sleep a night. I journal on how my day was, what and how I felt, on some realizations, some reflections and gratitude. I don’t start and finish a day without a gratitude. That is a big part of my routines.

Sometimes I have time to meditate, but if I don’t I simply reset by seating still and getting few deep breaths in and out. Many times, I do that in a bed too, finished by a simple “Thank you for today’s day”. That makes my day perfectly finished and beautiful, despite the circumstances.

In the evening there is time for me to read a book, though. Reading a book is a major part of my mental and personal development.

 

As you can see, all four aspects of the ‘self’ are being covered by my daily routines.

 

Anybody can do that, including YOURSELF! It is totally workable and doable. It may require some reorganization and arrangement around your day, shortening some activities or getting up 15 minutes earlier, but it is totally manageable.

 

If you would like to get some help with that, let me know. I help women with not only finding the sacred time for themselves but most importantly with finding who they truly are and what they actually want from life! Is it a boyfriend and husband, or a business, or maybe creating boundaries with their families? Whatever it is that you need to become the true and unlimited version of yourself, I can show you how!! Simply replay to this blog via comments or hit the email address below and connect with me.

izabelamch@gmail.com

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤