2018: The year of pure transformation and life-changing lessons.

I was about to start this blog with a very plain title “The teachings of 2018”.

However, I thought that I’ll start with these life-changing conclusions first and elaborate on them next:

1. Slowing down is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of huge personal responsibility and strength.

2. Choosing differently every day is the most powerful tool ever.

3. Love is for free – you don’t need to do anything for it, you don’t need to work for it either!

Footnotes:

1. Boundaries are crucial.

2. Know your fears even the most shameful ones.

3. There is light in a tunnel, but you need to ask for help first and keep walking.

Conclusion:

I am ME, just the way I am and I will never be able to make everyone happy around me. Even if tried, I could end up making myself miserable before others and they are still not going to be happy.

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The biggest awakening came in my relationship, where I am still learning what unconditional love is. I dreamt about it since I was a little girl, yet never had any clue that one day I will be purely afraid of it. The fact that someone can love me for just who I am, without me needing to work for it, do things in return, become someone else, or fake it till I make it – is mind-blowing.

Love is for free. FREE.

And it comes from every angle of the life – no need to chase it, no need to be approved for it, no need to look for. No need to be different, too!  

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I learned how to say NO, set healthy boundaries and secure my own space for my own self-care and sanity. All done in the most loving way possible. Was everyone ok with that? NO, of course not. And that was totally fine with me.  

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I also learned that the only thing I am truly capable of doing is to make myself happy without expecting others to do it for me. It is just not fair to do so.

I started this year with fighting with extreme bulimia and depression. I wanted to be well. I knew that it’s out of my integrity to coach others battling with such disorders yet being affected myself so deeply. I needed to see the light in the tunnel… which I couldn’t for a long time. The help could come only when I asked for.

I understood that I have a free will, and nobody is going to cross that border unless I permit them to do so. This when “I need help” came out of my mouth and when it was delivered. Was is fast? Not at all. I learned in my life that things which are meaningful need real and affectionate work, with love, compassion, and acceptance. And all will happen at its own pace!

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This brings me to December this year when I decided to step back, slow down and rethink a lot of things in my life, especially my business, job, mission and life purpose. It was hard at first because I, as many of you, was wired to hustle, advertise, promote, chase and work hard for every single penny and client.

It was one of the most wonderful lessons to learn that slowing down is actually an act of strength and integrity.

I’ve never put something on social media that wasn’t sincere. If I’m having a bad day, I don’t say much. Because privacy is part of authentic wellness. And because I’m committed to offering hope- and love-bringing content. I go through the issue, I learn from it, I bring out the lessons from it and then I share it. I am a guide and teacher.

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Last, but not the least, is that I recognized the deepest fears of mine. Even writing them here makes me feel still ashamed and little uneasy. But I know how sharing them may help me and some of you who can resonate.

I am afraid of being happy, loved and successful.

Yes, I am. I didn’t realize until the end of this year how manipulation, procrastination and self-pity are huge in my life. I use them to protect myself in the most ‘artificial’ way. My ego feels safe when it’s in control. Experiencing pure love, happiness and success wasn’t in my cards in the past. When I see the huge opportunity for them in any form, my mind panics and retract. It feels afraid! And it does anything to not feel that way!

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Today I know that in 2019 my major goal will be to step out of that comfort zone and experience what’s meant for me!

That means – self-trust is the theme for next year!

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So, cheers to the 2019!!!

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  • What is your theme for 2019?
  • What are your lessons from 2018?
  • What are your goals for 2019?
















I am HERE. I am NOW. I am
ME. ❤



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Nut Butter Breakthrough

Do you live in the reality where you were told that some things in this world are just bad? Do you interact with people who constantly bombard you with judgment and opinions? Do you create your own world around those notions, thoughts, stories and beliefs that you gathered during your life, and that are not necessarily true?

Where am I headed to with those questions? What does that have to do with nut butter?

 

Oh, let me tell you my story.

I have never shared this before.

The entire world believes that being a bodybuilder, looking wonderfully lean and muscular, fit and athletic, is the healthiest thing someone could get involved in. There is no bigger misinterpretation than that. The myth of “healthy” bodybuilding can be easily debunked. I did look awesome, the best ever in my life, that’s true. Have I worked hard? Oh, heck yes, the hardest “job” I have ever done was getting ready for that stage. The limitations, deprivations, rules and what’s good and what’s totally not good or allowed, losing the social life, having no time for anything but gym, are the major “bonuses” to it. Moreover, I consider these even better: insomnia during the night, sleepiness during the day, lack of period, total lack of energy, adrenal fatigue, hypothyroidism and extreme food intolerance.

What I found the most incredible during that time is the way to look at the food and the body. Being at 7% body fat on the stage is an indication of your well-done work, and then gaining 2 pounds is considered not good anymore.

But where did I lose the main character of this story, nut butter? The cheat meal or carbing up by eating pizza, donuts and the crappiest food on this planet, was considered “good” and “beneficial” for your gains. However, eating healthy, full of good nutrients and good fats, nut butter, was the worst thing you could even think of, totally sabotaging your progress. Having this type of “cheat meal” was making me fat, over night actually, and thanks to it I most likely wouldn’t be able to step on the stage.

Do you follow me? Do you see the story behind it? Do you see the misleading beliefs here?

 

Where am I headed with that now?

Here it is. The bodybuilding world doesn’t talk about, but 85% girls start with it because they either have already underlying eating disorders and body image issues, or they end up with that after pursuing that journey. And I was on both sides. Yes, I am a girl who suffered bulimia and anorexia as a teenager, in mid and late 20s, and of course the “exciting” disorder became more dangerous after competitions. Every single pound is an obsession, every single bite of food is making me fat overnight. Every single spoon of that freaking nut butter is sabotaging all my athletic performance. But wait, what if I eat pizza, or donuts – then I should be fine, right?!

 

Do you see where I am getting to?

The messed-up stories and beliefs someone told me during that time, create the person I am now. And if you are me, you hate your body, you binge, then purge and hate yourself even more. And the vicious cycle is never going to end unless you stop yourself, you literally get yourself into the silent place, remove the worldly distractions and ask yourself the major question: what problem, emotions, pain, feelings, or issue am I trying to numb with food or any other addiction?

The root of that addiction was somewhere deep inside of me. Exactly like the root of my love-hate feelings toward a simple food like nut butter. Why was I loving it and hating it just after I ate it? Why was I craving it, even though I wasn’t hungry, so I could purge afterwards? Why was I even buying it, if it was making me so overly fat?? WHY?

Because the root of that was simple: someone told me that this type of food is making me fat. That nut butter will make me weak. That this food will make me perform bad. That thanks to this food I better stop pursuing whatever athletic and sport goals I had. Because I am going to fail…if I keep eating it. I am not exaggerating this story. It is my real, deep and true story.

 

So, if you still reading, listen: dig deep inside of your soul and heart, allow yourself to feel it, to think, to be in the moments with yourself, your memories – even if they are painful. Pain is the best teacher we could ever have in this world.

Use it wisely!

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

 

How to cleanse your soul through negative feelings?

My STRONG PERSONAL replay to the reaction on the post about being DOWN and MAD and SAD and HATEFUL….

 

“Do not think or act in a negative way because you are attracting negative energy”, “Be positive, everyone has problems so suck it up”, “you are beating yourself over it, don’t do that”. These expressions and others, and friends turning their back on you because you have a bad day and feel down so that means you are negative and NOBODY wants to be negative in this negative world on that negative social media timeline where everyone has problems and everyone is negative….

YOU KNOW WHAT? Take that “negative” word and put deep in the pocket and just stop seeing things as negative or positive, black or white!!!

My recent expression of being sad, mad, down and hateful towards myself brought up a lot of different responses from all my friends, dealing with sometimes extremely different life situations. YOU all have total right to feel that way, express yourself and BE YOURSELF.

Those reactions from others made me reflect a bit and now I want to tell you a little bit about it:

Yes, I was sad…. I was mad…. I was down and I was hateful towards myself. And I know I should be spreading love and smiles all day long every day, but THAT MORNING WASN’T FREAKING A GOOD MORNING!!! So what? THOSE WERE MY FEELINGS, and they were OK! I needed to express them out loud! I didn’t want to hold on them! I didn’t want to allow them to create my day, my attitude, my approach to other things which would follow after. And yes, I did want to changed them in a positive way into a positive outcome!!!

I KNEW ALL THESE THINGS!!! But, let me release it, let me be ME, allow to let those feelings go away…….

I am grateful for having those types of feelings, because they allowed me to learn how to recognize them, how to convert them in a positive way to create a great person, a great day and a great environment. I do love myself, I do believe in myself and I did forgive myself for that morning and for that moment of weakness and being down. I was just down!!!!

Hate is a strong word carrying lots of negative energy and I haven’t felt that for a long, long time. I was told by an amazing life coach to always love myself and forgive myself… but that didn’t happen that morning! Those strong emotions were deep inside of my soul…and whoever told me to stop and be kind and that my day will be bad because I am attracting the same emotions to me, was RIGHT…but somehow I couldn’t let go! I kept seeing those feelings as OK and at the same time as bad because “all my day will be bad” … and I didn’t want that….

As soon as I realized that, it popped out in my mind what another very powerful woman once said that negative feeling is OK!!!! OMG, are they really ok?

Yes, they are ok. WE ARE just HUMANS!!! We will have good days and bed days, we will feel happy, but we will also feel crappy. And that is OK!!! You as human being have right to feel bad, too. As soon as you recognize that feeling and you know that you don’t want to hold on them, it’s OK!!! Just do not let them create your world, your day, your attitude towards others and other things. It’s OK!!! I felt mad, and sad, I felt hate…it’s OK!!! I am just human! I forgive myself NOW!!!!

I promised myself that I will work around it and on it, but I will not promise myself it won’t happen again. Because I know negative feelings will happen, and I know those feelings are good, they are good in terms that they are cleaning whatever bad experiences and emotions accumulated in your body, mind, soul and heart. Just express them, let them be, recognize them, embrace them. Know, that they don’t belong to you. They are temporary. Let them sink in, do not fight them! Go back to your meditation, calming down habits and methods. Repeat: I WILL BE OK, I FORGIVE MYSELF!!!

PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED to sometimes be WEAK or make MISTAKES. And people are allowed to be different, it doesn’t make them “wrong” or “weird” …and even so…Yes, I can call myself weird, crazy, emotional, straightforward and to the point… and I can have bad feelings and down moment! That makes me just a better HUMAN because I know how to control them, how to work on them and how to make them work for me!

LESSON LEARNED: DO NOT go to bed with negative thoughts and negative mindset, do not go to face your day with negative thoughts and negative mindset. Take your time to shout out, cry out, calm down, journal, meditate, record your feelings, express your gratitude and self-love!!!

AND I am GRATEFUL for every single friend of mine who see me as perfect and imperfect person and they still love me, respect me, trust me, look up to me, appreciate me and be with me!!!

Its OK Izabelka !!

YOU got this beYOUtiful!!!! ❤

What we fear the most is what we need to do the most !

You probably know that the greatest enemy of productivity is procrastination. But have you ever thought deeper into the real cause of why we procrastinate? Is it laziness or mediocrity? I tend to believe that it is fear.

Fear is a very strong feeling that is caused by anxiety and anticipation of eminent danger, whether perceived or real. Although it is entirely natural, sometimes our fear is unrealistic and can hamper our achievements, say in public speaking or a job interview. Fear can affect how you enjoy life and can hold you back from doing things that you should do to improve your health or business.

Fear makes what we need to do seem like a daunting task. We fear that what we intend to do will not yield any results. We may call it fear of failure.

Take for instance you have gained weight, and you want to enroll in a fitness program, but you have left fear to halt you in your steps year in year out. You went to the doctor, and your blood sugar or high blood pressure keep soaring, but because fear has overwhelmed you, you have never taken action to get fit. Yet, taking that one step to enroll in a fitness program could save your life and reverse diabetes and hypertension.

What you fear most is actually what you need to do the most to salvage your situation. You could be in an abusive marriage, and you get battered every day. By speaking out, you could save your life. More so ignoring the fear to move out and starting a brand new life could give you renewed hope that life can get better rather than live with the fear of what people will say about your decision and die in the process.

So how do you break this fear? Is it even possible to completely be out of fear?

 

Understand what makes you afraid

What makes you afraid? Get to learn about the real cause of your fear. Identify the patterns and the triggers. You can record and keep a journal so that you understand it better. Doing this you will uncover the underlying problems that are behind your fear so that you can address it.

 

Face you fear and take action

If there’s anything that caps fear is action. If the step that you need to take is helpful and necessary, then take that step without hesitation. Don’t let an opportunity pass you by due to fear. Enroll in the course or program and let the rest follow.

Expose yourself to what you fear. For instance, if you fear to talk in front of a crowd, yet you need that to build your career, by all means, practice even if you have to fake it till you make it.

 

Get help

If your fear has gone overboard and derailed your growth, it is time to seek help from a counselor. Don’t fear to seek help.

Talking therapies and support groups where you meet and share with people who are experiencing the same can be therapeutic. You can also learn from their experiences, challenge each other and be accountable. You will discover that you are not alone as many people struggle with this.

While it’s perfectly normal to experience fear, we can control our attitude to it and still take the right step regardless of the fear. No one is immune to fear. Even musicians get engulfed with stage fright before they hit the stage, but they head out nonetheless.  Don’t let fear stop you from doing what you need to do.

 

Remember, success is on the other side of fear.

http://beyoutiful.fit

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤