The love letter to myself

A few months ago, I wrote a letter. The love letter from my Future Self to my Recent Self.

The Future Self who is empowered, in alignment and in peace with herself, decided to give some words of encouragement to the woman standing here and writing to you right now. The letter is very open, vulnerable and authentic. Just the way I wanted to be to read it now, and every day.

My desire for you is that this letter will shift some energy within you so you can see your own beauty, worth and true identity under the mask you are wearing. My intention for you is that the letter below will encourage you to write the one for yourself. Don’t overthink or analyze it, just after you finish reading, grab a pen and write some words to yourself. Be loving, kind and non-judgmental.

My wish for you is that you see how beYOUtiful and worthy you are!

Because you are!!!

 

Dear Izabela,

WOW, what a journey, what a life changer!!!! I am so incredibly proud of you for making the step to create a new chapter in your life. I remember the hope and help you were looking for, and how finding that was totally price-independent. I knew that day that this is it, and I was so right!! Thank you, Universe, for giving me that opportunity at just the right time in my life and for not allowing my self-destructive doubts, hesitations and sabotaging creep in and prevent me from doing it!!!! I finally invested in my own self!!!!

I am so happy today! The real, raw, pure, and deep happiness inside of me! The happiness I was craving all 36 years!

I am confident! With my inner self, with my inner voice and thoughts, with my body, every single part of my body. I am confident with myself by myself when it’s quiet and it’s only me, my reflections, my inner voice, my inner child and my inner women!

I am emotionally stable. I am comfortable with my fears and my pains. I recognize them, I let them be and let them teach me.

For the first time, I am confident and proud to be a woman. I feel finally sexy, hot, attractive, comfortable naked and even seductive in a very feminine way!!! OMG, how much I wanted to be that woman!!!!

I am free of that messed up bulimia and binge eating!!! I AM FREE….it makes me feel so light knowing that I do not violent and hate my body anymore.

I AM FREE OF SELF-HATE – I am free forever! Those hateful moments towards myself are gone! How could I possibly do that to myself? That was so scary, so hurting, so painful – and it is GONE!!!!! I am love. I am a vessel of pure love. I do love. I share the love. I treat myself with love.

I am free of anxiety and depression – because I am finally feeling present, aligned with myself, truly aligned with my core values, inner voice and instincts. Finally, I am able to silent my mind and listen to the voice inside, to the Universe.

I am grateful! I see opportunities and beautiful gifts every minute, each day of my life!

I am finally moving with the flow, in every area of my life. I understood how huge resistance I was creating around me and I worked that out!!! I allowed myself to grow, to flourish, to expand and to create amazing things I always dreamt about! Now I am ready to live fully, and change lives around me!

I am a positive person with a positive energy radiating from me. The energy which changes lives, which allows me to see every single event, moment, and person in my life as the best thing that could ever happen to me!

I allow the energy to propel me to create huge things in all areas of my life. I live my life creating only positive energy around and within me.

I am empowered! I am driven! I am strong! I am truly and deeply that person, feeling unstoppable, limitless and fearless not only in the business, fitness, life but most importantly, mentally and emotionally!

I am giving myself NOW the acceptance of myself the way I am; of not being perfect; of not being in full control. I am forgiving myself for mistakes and imperfections. I am relaxed and enjoying life the way it is given to me! Now I learn from every single experience and mistake. I truly see failures as great lessons.

I am happy for the first time that I am alive. I can celebrate now my birthdays ❤

I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!! THAT IS HUGE!!!! Finally, Izabela you see yourself as amazing, powerful, strong, persistent, successful, limitless, life-changing, balanced, aligned, peaceful, confident and sexy woman.

I am free of past, free of abusive past and voices, which were limiting my beautiful soul, heart and mind from growing, creating, being, loving! I am so extremely happy I am free of that past! Now I can live, I can see myself flourishing and being nurturing to my body, soul, mindset, heart and my wonderful dreams and visions. Now I can be fearless and doubt-less and calmly and confidently look forward to my future. Because finally, I learned that I am a creator of my life!!!

I am at peace with my past, too! I forgave those who hurt me! I forgave myself for being so hurtful, too! I finally know how to forgive! I am grateful for this gift to learn! It is totally life changing!

I am free of the fear of rejection and judgment! I understand that I am me. I always knew that I want to be myself, true, authentic, raw, and real – and now I know I will be real! Free of fear of rejection! Because I am beautiful and I am loved!!!! I always was attracted to honesty and authenticity – that was always one of my drives, my internal voice ❤

I love myself! I respect myself! I never thought I will embrace and understand that aspect! How mistaken was I! I can carry entire world on my shoulders now based on that energy coming from self-love and self-acceptance within me!

I am so looking forward to empowering others, to help other girls and ladies within my beYOUtiful coaching services. I am so excited about publishing my autobiography, self-help books, and cookbooks! I am ready to spread the love. I am open to creative opportunities for getting and earning more money.

I AM A BLESSING! I AM UNIQUE! I AM SPECIAL! I AM ONE IN BILLIONS! I AM A DREAM! I create amazing things in my life with no self-doubts, no self-hesitation, and no fear!!!! There is no fear, just LOVE!

My dreams are coming true!!! They do because I was my own dream which just came true!!! Creating Izabela ❤

THANK YOU, UNIVERSE!!!

I LOVE YOU beYOUtiful! ❤ “

 

THANK YOU FOR READING IT TILL THE END!

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

 

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My biggest teachings of 2017

What a year.

I know it’s almost a month since it ended. I needed to take some reflective moments to see what that year brought into my life, and digest all feelings and emotions which came with 2018. I like to take my time. I have rushed many things in the past, and this year is the year of YES for myself. Hence, no rush; just calmness, stillness, openness and listening to my inner voice what it has to tell me. Oh boy o’ boy, it is a lot to listen and more to think about.

2017: Wild. Abandoned. Incredible. Hurt. Life-changing. Mind-blowing. Love-bringing. Heart-opening. Creative. Depressive. Magical. Guided.

 

Here are my top 6 life lessons I learned during 2017:

  1. I can’t heal anybody’s insecurities. They can hurt you at first. However, that revelation brought a relief once I realized the issue is not with me; and even if it is, now I know what I need to heal within myself. Without putting up with others crap.
  2. Challenges are exciting, and changes even more. The more of those, the stronger I became. The more of those, the more room for improvement and opportunities showed up for me. In uncertainty lies creation!
  3. The Universe will always make things happen as you wished. Watch what you are asking the Universe for. It listens. And it will make everything possible, so you get what you asked for, even if you didn’t plan for that yet.
  4. Listen to your intuition. No matter what. It will never ever put me down or guide me to the wrong direction. How life-changing was that.
  5. Invest in yourself – time and money. It will pay back incredibly well. I don’t want to even count the time and money wasted on something what was resolved within a couple of weeks of well invested coaching and materials.
  6. Presence, spirituality, ME-times, mindfulness – whatever you resonate with, each means the same: be with yourself comfortable. Being with myself was the best medicine for all my anxieties, problems, issues and depression! Believe it or not! It is!

 

Now, I’ve got question to you: what are YOUR top 3 lessons you learned in 2017?

Grab your favorite notebook or journal, write them down and read, see and observe how did those make you feel.

I’d love to see your experiences and lessons. Please share below or on my social media, I love hearing from you 😊

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

@ Photo by Kurt Tysver and http://www.highaltitudephotos.com/

 

 

The 6 books which changed my life

There is no doubt in the fact that reading books makes us smarter, wiser and more creative. It broadens up the vison of the world and opens up our minds to so many more amazing things. To me, it is the best way to grow mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially and whatever else I wish to improve my life at.

To make the story short, many of you asked me what beYOUtiful coach is reading. I will share with you six books which changed my life in many aspects. Books are listed in a random order. They all played a significant role in my life transformations.

 

  1. “The ONE thing” by Gary Keller

That book is a must for everyone who is thinking that multitasking is a good thing. How detrimental that actually could be to your performance and effectiveness is explained in this book. It guides you through tasks and tips how to focus on that ONE thing in order to perform effectively and be successful in a shorter but more organized time. Grab that book if you are like me: procrastinating, multitasking and wondering why there is never enough time to actually finish the major projects.

“Until my one thing is done – everything else is a distraction!”

https://www.amazon.com/ONE-Thing-Surprisingly-Extraordinary-Results/dp/1885167776

@garykeller @the1thingbook

 

  1. “Twelve pillars” by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener

This book was so empowering to me that I dedicated it a totally separated whole blog: https://unlimitedyou.me/2016/06/30/the-twelve-pillars-by-jim-rohn/

“My actions are the proof that my words are true.”

https://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Pillars-Jim-Rohn/dp/0972626638

@OfficialJimRohn

 

  1. “Spartan Up” by Joe De Sena

You don’t need to be a Spartan Obstacle Race runner to read this book. Even more, you definitely want to grab this book if you are looking for a straightforward, honest and to the point view of living. Joe doesn’t sugar coat, and everyone knows him as that. Joe speaks up and doesn’t bent over to make things easier so people accept him or accomplish any kind of goal without an actual work put in. Joe doesn’t tolerate a lot of issues in today’s world and he is proud of that. I praise him for his approach to life. I praise him for his real picture of what would this world look like if we choose the route of self-improvement without being needy of nowadays shiny objects and external validation. Believe me, you will remember this book for the rest of your life, once you read it! Mind blowing read!

“Become comfortable with uncomfortable.”

https://www.amazon.com/Spartan-Take-No-Prisoners-Overcoming-Obstacles-Performance/dp/0544286170

@realJoeDesena

 

  1. “Feel the fear and do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers

I grabbed this book when I reached the point when my fears held me from doing anything. Literally anything. If you are experiencing morning anxieties, lack of motivation, dragging around the work place or at home, having no desire to pursue any activities, feeling down and lost – this is a book for you! This life changer showed up in my life just on time. And I promise you, it will most likely be the one for you, too.

“Go home and say ‘thank you’ to your spouses.”

https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Fear-Do-Anyway/dp/0345487427

@SusanJeffers

 

  1. “The school of greatness” by Lewis Howes

Imagine the collection of the most successful tips you could ever get in one handy book. Tips coming from many successful people Lewis interviewed on his very powerful podcast. The book is so loaded with mind-blowing inspirational stories, with motivational mantras and tasks which will accelerate your strengths and willpower to the moon. If you are exhausted of all self-help books and materials all around you, flooding your mind, and you are looking for a great one-volume solution – there you have it!

“You can go as slow as you need to go, but you cannot stop.”

https://www.amazon.com/School-Greatness-Real-World-Living-Leaving/dp/1522614346

@LewisHowes

 

  1. “The universe has your back” by Gabrielle Bernstein

I can’t even express how much this book change my spirituality. It is not about religion, it is not about being obsessed and becoming isolated from world or going into volunteer solitude. It is about changing the fears into faith through trust, love, forgiveness, sharing magic and being a miracle. If that sounds to you like voodoo, then grab this book and see what I mean. It is pure magical. The way you will look at yourself and the world around you, including your own household, is a total life changer.

“We buy into the belief that a meaningful life requires struggle. It can have so devastating consequences in your life. […] Life is meant to be joyful and easy.”

https://www.amazon.com/Universe-Has-Your-Back-Transform/dp/1401946542

@GabbyBernstein

 

So here you have it!

I would love to hear your experiences with either the books I listed or maybe some book you read and would love to share how it changed your life. I love hearing from you!

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

 

Don’t value yourself based on someone else’s price of themselves…

 
Would you be able to estimate the dollar amount value of yourself?

How much would you cost?

 

Are you saying that you are priceless?

Did I hear that well?

 

Let me take you through the evaluation process of how much you may cost.

  • Cleaning lady with additional request to do laundry
  • Baby-sitter with additional request to cook for kids
  • Personal cook
  • Personal entertaining person
  • Personal grocery shopping person
  • Car cleaning and vacuuming services
  • Landscaping company
  • Home-based teacher for kids’ homework
  • Personal chauffeur
  • Personal nurse and care giver

 

Did I forget anything?

I may. I forgot the energetic actions despite the tiredness, caring smile despite the frustration. I didn’t mention the nurturing love despite self-hate and nourishment despite lack of self-care.

 

Someone said, that if women were about to receive the exact pay for every job they do, they would be the richest individuals on this planet.

 

People will judge, evaluate, estimate and tell you that you are too much, or too expensive. Well, if that is the case, look back at them and ask them, how expensive do they feel right now? What value do they bring to your life, their life or the life of others? Are THEY expensive?

 

Inexpensive in somebody’s eyes may mean a huge treasure in others eyes.

 

Let me voice this:

I am speaking to you right now, yes YOU, beYOUtiful lady!!!

 

Stop underestimating yourself.  Stop hiding. Stop apologizing for your being. Don’t dress down to blend in. Don’t shut up when you know you need to speak up. Stop saying what you think people want to hear. Stop trying to be polite and please everyone.

The real rejection is the rejection of yourself.

Love and be honest. Love and be YOU. Own your wins. Own your successes. Own your power and energy. Own your beauty and attractiveness. Own your voice. Own yourself.

YOU are expensive and you deserve to be treated that way!

YOU MATTER!

With love,

Izabela

🌹🦋🙏❤️

 

#beYOUtiful

#love #doLove

#magic #doMagic

#imatter #JustBe

 

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

True to Yourself.

Happy New Year beYOUtiful world ❤️
Reading all the amazing commitments, wishes and mantras for the upcoming 365 days makes me feel empowered, happy and joyful. It is magical to see the love and light being spread, people wanting to serve and help others, and the beautiful mindset of every single of you.
Who would you like to be at the end of this year?

How are you going to live those 52 weeks?

Who would you like to serve?

How are you going to bring light, love and hope to this world?
As I enter this magical New Year, I ask myself those questions, too. I ask myself: who did I became, how did I live, who did I serve and how did I spread love and light around me in 2017?

As I dig deep I see how important it is to be TRUE TO YOURSELF. What a great transformation can occur when one allows themselves the permission to heal. When you don’t get stuck with the opinions and suggestions of others, rather make a choice to connect back to the deeper, innate, real YOU. The YOU which is there since you were born, but got all covered up by the external worldly influence.
What does actually being true to yourself mean?

* it is when you hear your intuition and act upon it

* it is when you feel emotion and you accept it the way it is

* it is when you feel pain and you allow it to be the teacher on the path to your better self

* it is when you choose to be joyful and happy in moments of despair

* it is when your energy allows others to see the real versions in themselves

* it is when you don’t hide, or put a mask on your face, because you are allowed to be vulnerable

* it is when your real and authentic self becomes so sexy that it attracts others,

* it is when getting up every day is the another chance to be love and light.
It all sounds super voodoo and hocus pocus, I get it! However, the moment you tap into that aspect, your own mind will be blown away from disbelief how powerful and wonderful your life and self-being is.
YOU ARE A SERVANT OF SOMETHING UNSTOPPABLE. BELIEVE IT!

BE TRUE, REAL AND RAW!

ACT AS ONE TODAY, NOW!!!
With love for this 2018,

Izabela 🌹🦋🙏❤️

 

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

#beYOUtiful

 

 

THE UNIVERSE IS A FUNKY PLACE

“Everything that happens in your life

is the best possible thing that can happen to you”

– Chris Prentiss

Every single moment we have a choice to make.

Every single moment of our life is given to us.

The question is, what will you do with it?

 

GRATITUDE

— If you invited friends to a dinner and they didn’t show their appreciation, would you invite them again? —

Say thank you. Be gracious.

First and foremost, appreciate Yourself. Be grateful for the life you live. Show thanks for the world around you, for your loved ones. Don’t take your money or housing for granted.  Especially, be grateful for your feelings and emotions. Be mindful of your inner voice and instincts.

Appreciate your loved ones. Find amazement and joy in the little things, such as a smile, a kind gesture, or a hug. Be aware of the beauty around you.

Appreciate your friends and co-workers. They are in your life for a reason. Be mindful of what your life could be without them.

Appreciate the stranger. Discover the magic behind the “thank you” expressed as you walk past someone in the grocery store. Be amazed by how much impact simple courtesy can have.

Appreciate the Universe. Would you be who you are without all the moments and experiences? By expressing appreciation for what you already have, you open the doors to receive more.

 

Say and give THANK YOU to your life: moments, events, people, items and whatever else you are grateful for. Avoid the temptation to compare yourself to others.

 

WHERE TO BEGIN?

** Write every morning and evening what you are grateful for – be honest!

** Ask yourself why you are grateful– be honest!

** Ask yourself what you could do to make someone else happy – act!

** Ask yourself how you could best contribute to create a better tomorrow – act!

** Say thank you to both the stranger and your friends.

 

RESULTS:

By appreciating yourself and others, you will feel lighter and happier. It will provide the encouragement needed for facing any obstacle you may have during the day.

As your day progresses, by expressing appreciation, you will experience more love, more smiles, and kindness.

 

LOVE

Self-love is different than self-care. Sure, you can get yourself a nice haircut, manicure or treat yourself to a fancy dinner. These are all external.

Self-love is internal.

Light a candle in a secluded place. Feel the silence. Feel your body. Feel your anxieties. Feel your happiness. Feel your inner voice.

Just be, and just listen. Is it making you feel uncomfortable? This is part of the process. Your inner voice is sending you an important message. Whatever it is, be in that feeling.

Marinate in the feelings. Say them out loud, write them down, and read them again. Cry, smile, or dance if you must.

All emotions have a purpose. They are not bad or good, they each have a purpose.

It is the actions that we chose to take that becomes bad or good. When we attempt to escape or hide, it simply extends our pain.

 

MINDFULNESS TIPS

** Mediate first thing in the morning. Resist the temptation to grab your phone.

** Give yourself time during the day to breath, to “space out”, to day dream.

** Journal your emotions. Try your best to be a “neutral observer” and refrain from being critical and judgmental.

** Stay alert to all the good things around you.

 

RESULTS:

The more you take care of yourself, the more love you are able to spread.

The more you love yourself, the more compassion you will find.

The more you respect yourself, the more kindness will be in your presence.

 

INTENTION

What you choose to focus on…is it serving or hindering you?

Do you visualize your future as if it’s happening now?

Do you see yourself as a successful, happy, balanced and empowered woman?

The way you see yourself walking, feeling, reacting, living is what you will become.

Do you want to be anxiety-free? – imagine that lightness!

Do you want to be loved? – know that you are loved!

Do you want respect? – act that way!

Do you want to be debt-free? – picture that financial freedom!

Negative intentions will delay progress, positive ones will move you forward.

 

ACTION

** Practice affirmations every day by using the words “I am…”

** Believe and trust in yourself

** Honor and nourish potential

** Feel what it will be like to be your genuine, best self

** Appreciate the wonderful person you are now

 

RESULTS:

Manifest and create a vision of where you want to be. You will see it, feel it, and be there! Your soul will feel aligned and peaceful. The universe will send many cues your way. You will become who you so deeply desire to be!

Stay mindful of yourself what you are asking for. 😊

 

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

 

@ Photo by Kurt Tysver and http://www.highaltitudephotos.com/

 

“Cozy” drinks for the cold winter and holiday days

Cold winter days might be a very good reason to stay home, get cozy and warm up our bodies as well as our souls. When I was a kid, my mom used to do so many different home-based remedies for us to get warm after the crazy snowball fight outside, or simply to make sure we won’t catch any bug or cold after ice-hockey game with kids from the neighborhood.

Candle light in the background, meditation at the fireplace or simple relaxing time on your comfortable coach with the soft blanket are the wonderful “home remedies” for your soul.

However, those recipes, I am about to share with you, could be a fantastic option to warm up your physical body, too! Invite your friends and create those amazing drinks together!

Let me know how did you enjoy them!

Stay warm  ❤️  ❄️⛄

 

Home Remedy for Cold Drink

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of milk (of your choice, the best raw or unpasteurized)
  • 1 tbsp of raw honey
  • 1 tbsp of grass-fed butter
  • 1 clove of garlic

Warm up the milk, but avoid boiling it. When warmed up, add honey and butter, stir it. Mince (or press) the garlic, and add it to warm drink at the end (make sure to not boil the mixture at all – it will lose its antibacterial and antiviral features). Drink it warm!

This drink is fighting any type of cold. The best is to drink it when you feel like just getting a bug, but it serves its purpose also during the actual cold.

OPTIONS:

  • If you don’t like milk, substitute it with caffeine-free tea
  • If you don’t like garlic, simply remove it and add cinnamon instead (however, garlic is the most important ingredient here, because it is the most powerful antibacterial and antiviral natural remedy).

 

Cocoa Bean Fuel Drink

Ingredients:

  • 1-2 cups of brewed Cocoa CrioBru (buy here)
  • 1-2 cups of milk of your choice
  • 1 tbsp grass-fed butter (or ghee butter)
  • 1 tbsp of unsweetened cacao powder
  • 1 tbsp of raw honey
  • ½ tsp of ground cinnamon
  • ¼ tsp of Himalayan Pink salt

Brew ground cocoa beans according to the instruction. Combine all other ingredients in a blender, add brewed cocoa and blend until smooth. If you wish to add more healthy fats or proteins in your drink, add MCT or Collagen after blending, and blend for not more than 10 seconds (this step is important to not break down the collagen or glycerides molecules).

OPTIONS:

  • Add Coconut full-fat milk or cream for smoother consistency and more coconutty taste
  • Add 1 tbsp of MCT oil for more energy (for example if drink was made in the morning or before workout)
  • Add 1 scoop of Collagen Peptides for more proteins (buy either this, this or this one)
  • Add peppermint extract (alcohol-free the best) for cozier and Christmas-like drink ❄️⛄

 

STAY HEALTHY!!!!

YOU ARE IN IT TO WIN IT!!!!

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

 

DO LOVE & DO MAGIC ❤

 

Since I became aware of my life being a precious gift, I started searching for the answer to that ONE question: WHY AM I REALLY HERE?

I went through my whole life as totally blinded zombie-human, not knowing what is happening around me, not recognizing kindness in others eyes, not seeing beauty in the life I had and numbing the magical nature sounds with the highest volume of my electro music! It could have been like that until now, if some breakthroughs and awakenings weren’t to happen!

In this life I fought to survive. Serious migraines which left me almost unconscious in 6th grade, being rescued from committing suicide, surviving heart attack and cancer, overcoming depression and multiple approaches to commit suicide again and again, over and over.

 

BUT I DID SURVIVE!

I DO LIVE NOW!

BUT WHY???

 

I wanted to know.

I craved to know the deep meaning.

Was it to live, experience, discover and find happiness that we all crave?

or

Was it for something FAR greater than that?

So, I started to dig deep.

 

* Was is it that there was a part of me that was here to leave a legacy?

* Was it that I came here to make a difference, to shine my light?

* Was it that I came here to share my gift and do magic?

* Was it that I came here to live a life full of purpose and love?

* Was it that everything I went through this time would lead me to this exact point in my life where I would discover what I have been actually seeking?

* Was it that I would find a true meaning this time?

 

Now those questions, I FEEL in my bones, in my nerves, in every single cell and receptor.

 

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I feel that there IS SOMETHING FAR GREATER for you to discover here, than you can even imagine.

 

I urge you to discover the wisdom, knowledge and the knowing deep inside of you.

Because what I know to be true is that WE ARE ALL just trying to find our own POTENTIAL of who we came here to BE.

And what I am sure about that we are all here to do magic and share love!

 

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

Nut Butter Breakthrough

Do you live in the reality where you were told that some things in this world are just bad? Do you interact with people who constantly bombard you with judgment and opinions? Do you create your own world around those notions, thoughts, stories and beliefs that you gathered during your life, and that are not necessarily true?

Where am I headed to with those questions? What does that have to do with nut butter?

 

Oh, let me tell you my story.

I have never shared this before.

The entire world believes that being a bodybuilder, looking wonderfully lean and muscular, fit and athletic, is the healthiest thing someone could get involved in. There is no bigger misinterpretation than that. The myth of “healthy” bodybuilding can be easily debunked. I did look awesome, the best ever in my life, that’s true. Have I worked hard? Oh, heck yes, the hardest “job” I have ever done was getting ready for that stage. The limitations, deprivations, rules and what’s good and what’s totally not good or allowed, losing the social life, having no time for anything but gym, are the major “bonuses” to it. Moreover, I consider these even better: insomnia during the night, sleepiness during the day, lack of period, total lack of energy, adrenal fatigue, hypothyroidism and extreme food intolerance.

What I found the most incredible during that time is the way to look at the food and the body. Being at 7% body fat on the stage is an indication of your well-done work, and then gaining 2 pounds is considered not good anymore.

But where did I lose the main character of this story, nut butter? The cheat meal or carbing up by eating pizza, donuts and the crappiest food on this planet, was considered “good” and “beneficial” for your gains. However, eating healthy, full of good nutrients and good fats, nut butter, was the worst thing you could even think of, totally sabotaging your progress. Having this type of “cheat meal” was making me fat, over night actually, and thanks to it I most likely wouldn’t be able to step on the stage.

Do you follow me? Do you see the story behind it? Do you see the misleading beliefs here?

 

Where am I headed with that now?

Here it is. The bodybuilding world doesn’t talk about, but 85% girls start with it because they either have already underlying eating disorders and body image issues, or they end up with that after pursuing that journey. And I was on both sides. Yes, I am a girl who suffered bulimia and anorexia as a teenager, in mid and late 20s, and of course the “exciting” disorder became more dangerous after competitions. Every single pound is an obsession, every single bite of food is making me fat overnight. Every single spoon of that freaking nut butter is sabotaging all my athletic performance. But wait, what if I eat pizza, or donuts – then I should be fine, right?!

 

Do you see where I am getting to?

The messed-up stories and beliefs someone told me during that time, create the person I am now. And if you are me, you hate your body, you binge, then purge and hate yourself even more. And the vicious cycle is never going to end unless you stop yourself, you literally get yourself into the silent place, remove the worldly distractions and ask yourself the major question: what problem, emotions, pain, feelings, or issue am I trying to numb with food or any other addiction?

The root of that addiction was somewhere deep inside of me. Exactly like the root of my love-hate feelings toward a simple food like nut butter. Why was I loving it and hating it just after I ate it? Why was I craving it, even though I wasn’t hungry, so I could purge afterwards? Why was I even buying it, if it was making me so overly fat?? WHY?

Because the root of that was simple: someone told me that this type of food is making me fat. That nut butter will make me weak. That this food will make me perform bad. That thanks to this food I better stop pursuing whatever athletic and sport goals I had. Because I am going to fail…if I keep eating it. I am not exaggerating this story. It is my real, deep and true story.

 

So, if you still reading, listen: dig deep inside of your soul and heart, allow yourself to feel it, to think, to be in the moments with yourself, your memories – even if they are painful. Pain is the best teacher we could ever have in this world.

Use it wisely!

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

 

 

Step by Step… [The Emotional and Mental Memoir from Ultra Beast Spartan Race]

This is not a recap of an Ultra Beast Race. You can read those elsewhere. This is a mental and emotional piece about somebody’s inner world.

This is not a blog with ideas and tips on how to train. It is not about how to eat and prepare for one of the toughest obstacle endurance races. This is an expression of a soul screaming after facing an unknown field of defeat and disqualification.

The “Ultra Beast Spartan Race” is one of the longest obstacle races in the OCR series. What does that mean for an overachieving athlete like me? It means there is going to be a mental challenge. It inevitably leads to the question of “to be or not be” in the game.

 

Weeks before….

In the weeks leading up to that moment, I often found myself overthinking and over-analyzing the upcoming race. Of course, this would be interspersed with moments of calmness, and times of not thinking about the race at all. As a professional athlete, business owner, and life coach, I have learned firsthand how overthinking will never result in anything good. It only leads to fear, stress and demotivation. Overanalyzing is even worse; it creates an overpowering fear of losing control. I am the last one to predict the weather, the course, the obstacles, and most importantly: to predict my own body’s reaction and feelings.

I find it very relaxing to not think about the race at all. Yes, “spacing out” can irritate the ones who love you most. But guess what? I love spacing out. I bask in the moments when I allow the universe to think on my behalf. I love not knowing what the future may hold. I love to be at peace, doing what I do every day: eat healthy, train hard, stretch, rest, and sleep.

 

The night before….

That day before the Ultra Beast was one of the most serene days of my life. All my work was done. I was up to date on updating my clients’ plans. Everything was taken care of. The trip was planned, I had checked the weather. Even the last-minute gels had been purchased and packed. I was ready.

I decided to go on a walk. I was fully present. I looked up at the sky to see the stars, ever grateful for that precious moment! Silence is the best medicine for me before such a race.

Every professional athlete takes time to just sit with their own thoughts.

I shut down all the voices and all the stress.  This is the best anyone can do the night before a big race!

 

On race day….

Morning brought silence. With a carbed-up breakfast and mental focus, I knew what I wanted most in that moment. I thought: There is nothing else but me.

Me, the way I am now. Completely present, two hours before the start. Me, the most athletic, the best prepared, the healthiest person. I can face the unknown. All will be good, because I will take it step by step.

I did everything within my power, right? I am the strongest I could possibly be, right? I prepared every single detail for this race, right? Yes, I did.

Let’s do this!

 

The Race….

Start, slow start…

I relinquished my inner-will to chase the rest of the competitors. I kept repeating: “Pace yourself”. It soon became my mantra for the race.

“When the breathing peaks up, all I do is pace myself.”

Suddenly, I recalled everything I ever read or heard about the importance of breathing. How successful of a tool it is for stress management. Was I stressed? Not particularly, but I was very focused. I wasn’t going to let any breathing struggles get in my way. “You got this” and “keep going” was mentioned frequently by those passing me.

Yes, my legs keep moving step by step. “There is no other way but forward” my mind exclaims. “You got this, beYOUtiful!” I said to myself, as I approached a steep hill.

Step by step. I removed any thoughts about the obstacles that were ahead of me.

“That is the next step, let me focus on the uphill right now.”

I relinquished all care about the future. I knew that all I had to focus on was my next step. I had brief bursts of energy, helping me refocus, recharge.

Suddenly, I was battling an obstacle. My mind went blank. I swiftly reminded myself that I was moving forward. In my mind, “burpee” became synonymous with “obstacle”. I thought: “I will not allow ‘burpees’ to disturb my stubborn Taurus personality.”

Do you remember saying from the movie, “Dori”?

“Just keep swimming.”

Exactly. Keep moving. Keep swimming. Keep running!

 

Suddenly, my body was telling me something….

Was it a pinch in the knee? I tried to decipher the feeling. “Listen knee, we have a second lap to do. We’ve got this. Just cooperate with me and stop fighting, ok?”

As the miles added up, I felt my body in places I wasn’t expecting. I tried to reassure myself. I had never had issues with my ankles and knees before.

“Let me change the way I run. Let’s try to slow down and let refocus on the course. I know my body, all will be fine.”

As I made it through another obstacle, I thought, “That was easy, which means I’m a badass! Even the cold doesn’t bother me as much as others that I am slowly passing. Wow, I prepared really well.”

I had just finished facing the biggest fear of my life. Swimming didn’t kill me physically, but it broke me mentally.

As I plunged in to the icy water, I tried to my best to have a positive mindset. But, unfortunately, the panic attack was stronger.

“That’s ok, it’s in the past. Let’s do burpees and move on. I’ve got a second lap to do and I need to have a serious conversation with my body parts.”

 

Downhill…

I know the difference between pain and discomfort. I have an incredibly high pain tolerance. But this pain was excruciating.

“Knee, please, please don’t do this to me now. Why are you actually hurting? I’ve been so kind to you. I’ve been pacing myself this entire time.”

My pace began to slow.

Still, I moved on, step by step. But I felt it. No, it wasn’t pain. It was fear, creeping in to my thoughts. I had worked so hard on letting my fear go, just days before the race.

“Go away!!!!”

As I pictured my ligaments tearing and visualized tripping and rolling down this hill, my inner self shouted “NO, NO, NO!!!”

But I’m stubborn. The overachiever, the badass, the winner.

 

I had to decide….

The pain became unbearable. Do you know those pain scales in the hospital, with “1” being the best and “10” being the worst? I was at a 9, maybe 10, and it brought tears to my eyes. It was so intense that I could barely hold my focus as I limped. A fight between my inner-worlds ensued.

“Didn’t you accomplish 12 hours of the brutal Hurricane Heat event? Do you remember what you were telling yourself there? Yes, so keep repeating: step, step, step, step. Don’t think about giving up. Just: step, step, step, step. Shut up and move on. Step, step, step. This is your dream. Step, step, step. This is your life. Step, step, step.”

I couldn’t take another.

“Please don’t do that to me! Don’t fade, please. I can go, I can move….”

Having to give away your inner power hurts more than any knee ever could. I had to decide to let my partner continue through the race without me. I felt like I let myself down, and I had never envisioned this would happen!

 

Afterwards….   

I felt empty, I felt lost, I felt disempowered. I had lost myself somewhere on the 15-mile mark.

Someone else must have decided to DNF on my behalf. It was not the Izabela I know. She never gives up. She never whines. She never uses pain as an excuse! The Izabela I know lives by the saying: “be comfortable with uncomfortable”. It was someone other than me that decided to quit. I know I could’ve gone on and finished it!

But no, continuing with that pain wouldn’t have been possible.

The Izabela I know is also caring of herself and others. She is supportive. She inspires and motivates herself and other. She might be unstoppable, but she also knows when it’s time to practice self-care. She may have the strength to break ice, but she also knows how to melt ice with self-love. She knows that dreams do come true. They just come true during the right time, at the right place.

 

Everything happens for a reason.

 

You got this beYOUtiful! ❤

….. step by step ……