Izabelka’s Transformation

❤❤❤

I am Izabela, you may know me…. I was born in March 2011, I am 7 years old.

Admitting that I needed psychological help in order to help not your marriage but yourself, was a huge step into my inner transformation. Yes, 30 years old woman needed to bury herself in order for another woman to be born!

I don’t remember much from my childhood, block it somehow and maybe it’s good, maybe not…. I never made serious decisions based on my own feelings and opinions until March 2011… I was a living, breathing and existing creature, fulfilling others wishes and expectations all my life…being a zombie, walking and not even knowing where I am going!!!

The only changes in my life which created the WOMAN I am now, happened very randomly, almost like an explosion after which you shake your head of the dust and realize you are in totally different world. My dad threw me into the water expecting I will learn how to swim, and it never happened, I don’t know how to swim. However, life threw me into way deeper water than that one, to the lowest rock bottom I could ever imagine it exist and what happened surprisingly, I had to swim, I had to get up, I had to shake my head of the dust and see the new world!!!!

The decision about buying a one-way ticket for my ex-husband and divorcing him was the best ever. The decision of quitting my scientific very-well paid job was a life changing. The decision about hiring trainer and life coach after my heart attack was the biggest awakening. All of them built were the foundation of different transformations for myself.

First one created the woman who realized that she is beautiful, strong, sexy, independent, powerful, loving and deserving to be loved, to be treated with respect!

Second allowed me to understand that I am extremely smart, talented, educated, intelligent, hard-working and can make anything I think of to work.

Third opened my eyes on the beauty I carry in my body, in my heart and soul, realizing how important is it to take care of myself first before serving others. How life choices create the life we live in. How regrets do not exist, how life lessons are empowering and how failure is an actually a grand opening to better options.

Fourth…. yes, there is forth moment of awakening. NOW!!! The moment I realized I can help, I can give and I can change lives of so many people around me by the person I am and what I have to offer…that was a huge blast! I have a plan, LIFE HUGE PLAN of creating a space and a community to help those who seek help, who suffer from abuse, from depression, from lack of motivation and life purpose, from lack of self-being and show them that there is a fantastic powerful SELF-LOVE out there, that each of us can create a magic, create amazing things in this live.

Who told you that you cannot? Your dad? Your Aunt? Or husband? Maybe co-worker or boss?

NOBODY CAN TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN AND WHAT YOU CAN NOT DO – only you create the reality you live in, the happiness you live with, the magic you surround yourself with!!!!!

YOU got this beYOUtiful!!!! ❤

#beYOUtiful

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Survival Mode…..

….I wasn’t born in this country, I have lived in many other countries, I moved eighteen times, I was sexually and mentally abused and I can’t have kids…. and many of those things seems to be nothing to other’s problems….

Depression, anxiety…. Survival Mode!

 

Survival Mode when I am waking up every day, even though I don’t want because I am afraid of that day, of the future in two minutes, of the person hurting me or rejecting me!

Survival Mode when I tell myself that all will be good, all will work, and today will be a beautiful day – even though I see clouds and I see struggle, because I may not be able to smile today!

Survival Mode when I say I am fine, but all I think is to disappear and never come back!

Survival Mode when I call my mom and tell her that I love her and I am doing so well, I just may need some help to pay rent or bills!

Survival Mode when I know that conversation was a lie and all I want is to kill myself…. only because of her I am not doing it, she would never ever survive that…oh well, I would see her in the heaven then quickly after my attempt!

Survival Mode when words such you are awesome, you are inspiration, you are hardworking, you are kind and you will manage, mean nothing. Oh, they are the biggest lies I have ever heard…why even someone say them…stop it!

Survival Mode when suicide is so tempting, so attractive that I don’t even want to talk to others…being scared they may take away from me that biggest fun and dream!

Survival Mode when lack of motivation, dedication and drive is normal. Don’t people actually live like that their whole life? Why do I need to bother even?

Survival Mode when help is not needed, love is messed up, kindness is worthless, and integrity doesn’t exist… values, what are the values? Didn’t I already told you my biggest goal is to disappear?

Survival Mode when I regret Past, I don’t believe in Present and I am afraid of Future….

Survival Mode when life is not beautiful, life is never beautiful and everyone saying that is just making up the word….

 

Is there anything else?

Someone said, yes….

There is that life which is beautiful actually,

— the love which brings people together and connects those who needs each other,

— the sun which shines on our faces and smiles,

— the flowers and nature which blesses us every day with unconditional awesomeness.

❤ And the SELF which is so unusual, so amazing, so strong and resilient, so fearless and limitless, so powerful and capable of unimaginable.

 

#beYOUtiful

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

How to cleanse your soul through negative feelings?

My STRONG PERSONAL replay to the reaction on the post about being DOWN and MAD and SAD and HATEFUL….

 

“Do not think or act in a negative way because you are attracting negative energy”, “Be positive, everyone has problems so suck it up”, “you are beating yourself over it, don’t do that”. These expressions and others, and friends turning their back on you because you have a bad day and feel down so that means you are negative and NOBODY wants to be negative in this negative world on that negative social media timeline where everyone has problems and everyone is negative….

YOU KNOW WHAT? Take that “negative” word and put deep in the pocket and just stop seeing things as negative or positive, black or white!!!

My recent expression of being sad, mad, down and hateful towards myself brought up a lot of different responses from all my friends, dealing with sometimes extremely different life situations. YOU all have total right to feel that way, express yourself and BE YOURSELF.

Those reactions from others made me reflect a bit and now I want to tell you a little bit about it:

Yes, I was sad…. I was mad…. I was down and I was hateful towards myself. And I know I should be spreading love and smiles all day long every day, but THAT MORNING WASN’T FREAKING A GOOD MORNING!!! So what? THOSE WERE MY FEELINGS, and they were OK! I needed to express them out loud! I didn’t want to hold on them! I didn’t want to allow them to create my day, my attitude, my approach to other things which would follow after. And yes, I did want to changed them in a positive way into a positive outcome!!!

I KNEW ALL THESE THINGS!!! But, let me release it, let me be ME, allow to let those feelings go away…….

I am grateful for having those types of feelings, because they allowed me to learn how to recognize them, how to convert them in a positive way to create a great person, a great day and a great environment. I do love myself, I do believe in myself and I did forgive myself for that morning and for that moment of weakness and being down. I was just down!!!!

Hate is a strong word carrying lots of negative energy and I haven’t felt that for a long, long time. I was told by an amazing life coach to always love myself and forgive myself… but that didn’t happen that morning! Those strong emotions were deep inside of my soul…and whoever told me to stop and be kind and that my day will be bad because I am attracting the same emotions to me, was RIGHT…but somehow I couldn’t let go! I kept seeing those feelings as OK and at the same time as bad because “all my day will be bad” … and I didn’t want that….

As soon as I realized that, it popped out in my mind what another very powerful woman once said that negative feeling is OK!!!! OMG, are they really ok?

Yes, they are ok. WE ARE just HUMANS!!! We will have good days and bed days, we will feel happy, but we will also feel crappy. And that is OK!!! You as human being have right to feel bad, too. As soon as you recognize that feeling and you know that you don’t want to hold on them, it’s OK!!! Just do not let them create your world, your day, your attitude towards others and other things. It’s OK!!! I felt mad, and sad, I felt hate…it’s OK!!! I am just human! I forgive myself NOW!!!!

I promised myself that I will work around it and on it, but I will not promise myself it won’t happen again. Because I know negative feelings will happen, and I know those feelings are good, they are good in terms that they are cleaning whatever bad experiences and emotions accumulated in your body, mind, soul and heart. Just express them, let them be, recognize them, embrace them. Know, that they don’t belong to you. They are temporary. Let them sink in, do not fight them! Go back to your meditation, calming down habits and methods. Repeat: I WILL BE OK, I FORGIVE MYSELF!!!

PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED to sometimes be WEAK or make MISTAKES. And people are allowed to be different, it doesn’t make them “wrong” or “weird” …and even so…Yes, I can call myself weird, crazy, emotional, straightforward and to the point… and I can have bad feelings and down moment! That makes me just a better HUMAN because I know how to control them, how to work on them and how to make them work for me!

LESSON LEARNED: DO NOT go to bed with negative thoughts and negative mindset, do not go to face your day with negative thoughts and negative mindset. Take your time to shout out, cry out, calm down, journal, meditate, record your feelings, express your gratitude and self-love!!!

AND I am GRATEFUL for every single friend of mine who see me as perfect and imperfect person and they still love me, respect me, trust me, look up to me, appreciate me and be with me!!!

Its OK Izabelka !!

YOU got this beYOUtiful!!!! ❤

There is no greater love than the love you have for yourself

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
“I love myself…I love You. I love You…. I love myself.” – RUMI

 

Everyone would agree that there are many ways to love. The love you have for your family is different than the love you have for your best friend or for a partner. The ways you love your pet or your favorite book are also different ways to look at love.

Loving yourself, however, is a totally different and more abstract feeling.

Have you ever tried asking someone if they love him or herself? Have you ever questioned how much you actually appreciate yourself?

Let me tell you Izabelka’s story. For most of her life, she had never heard the words, “I love you” from her parents or her siblings. It wasn’t until she moved out of her home and to the opposite end of the country that she started to feel that familial love strongly enough to finally start expressing it.

She slowly started to incorporate those words at the end of her letters or at the end of phone conversations.

Can you imagine how magical that little change was for her attitude? Now, every interaction with her parents or siblings ends with those powerful words.

For some people it takes time to be able to say those three little words. For many it’s a lifelong challenge, but it is so worth it! There are many ways to express your love as well.

In the amazing book The 5 Love Languages (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/), author Gary Chapman lists five different ways to express love to your partner and loved ones: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Knowing someone else’s love language is so important and powerful in creating a lasting relationship.

Expressing love for others, however, can sometimes be easier than loving yourself.

Izabelka always thought that love should be expressed by giving her time to others, being there when they needed her, and supporting them whenever and wherever they asked her to.

Not going to your favorite ballet show because your partner has bad day and you want to comfort him is a great sign that you love your boyfriend.

Skipping your workout because your sister is whining and needs your help right now is another sign of a love.

Eating and drinking things you don’t even like so your friends will accept you also shows how much you love them. Does that sound familiar?

Most of the time the things we give up most are our time, activities, hobbies, health and eventually ourselves. The real question is: Do you really think this is love? NO, it is not. The moment you are giving up your values, your rituals, your time and, most importantly, your peace, you are clearly abandoning yourself. It is important to stay true to yourself.

There is never an ideal way to love yourself without seeming arrogant or selfish to some people; however, it is necessary to create healthy boundaries to show others that you respect and value yourself first.

It is so powerful to recognize who you really are and what is important to you.

When you abandon your rituals that are important for self-love, it’s not real love. It’s not called a relationship anymore in this case either. It is not about one person giving up all they have for someone else.

That’s not what true love is.

If the people closest to us don’t want to grow with us, we shouldn’t be giving up our goals and what we strive for. We need to keep growing even if that may mean breaking up the relationship or friendship.

After Izabelka did a ton of work to learn self-love, she could confidently stand in front of the mirror and tell herself “I love you.” The emotions running through her heart, the excitement in her blood and the chills that gave her goosebumps were all totally new feelings for her.

That day was a huge breakthrough for her. It can be a huge turning point for anyone who recognizes how wonderful and unique he or she is in this big world.

As soon as you accept and appreciate yourself just the way you are, you will be able to accept and appreciate the world around you.

In life, we always give all we have. The more love you have for yourself, the more love you can give away while treating the people around you with gratitude. Because true love begins with YOU. Whatever you give, you will get it in return. ☺

How is your relationship with YOURSELF? Are you ready to start making changes and start loving yourself more and more every day?

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

Izabela (aka Izabelka)

 

The Shadow of the Past

Meet Izabelka ☺

Izabelka always knew what she wanted to do with her life. She dreamt of exotic adventures, mysterious trips and adrenaline-filled expeditions to third-world countries.

Watching documentaries just pumped her heart up even more and brought those visions closer and closer.

She felt like she wanted to be a free soul forever.

As Izabelka grew, a more “adult” approach to life began to creep in and poison her soul. “You can’t do that. You won’t be able to do that. You need an education like everyone else. You need a 9-5 job like everyone else. You need a husband and kids to be happy…. You need to be exactly like EVERYONE ELSE!!!”

Izabelka soon became Izabela, a woman who fulfilled all of the requirements that the world had set up for her.

She was a good student, a good employee and a good wife. She achieved everything that adults in the “real world” were supposed to achieve.

In the eyes of everyone around Izabela, her life was so beautiful, but that was just on the outside.

In her most intimate and private moments, Izabela couldn’t look herself in the mirror. She couldn’t look into her own eyes and feel as happy and confident about her life as EVERYONE ELSE seemed to feel.

Deep in her heart, there was only one person on Earth who Izabela hated: HERSELF.

Why wasn’t she proud of herself? Why wasn’t she motivated and passionate about living her life? What crucial thing was missing that would allow her to accept and even applaud herself every day?

The moment you recognize that you are missing the most important piece of your life’s puzzle is a very empowering one.

It is the first step towards having better days.

It gives you a chance to stop and reflect.

It brings forth important questions that you have to answer right then and there: WHO AM I NOW? WHO AM I GOING TO BE SOON?

It takes enormous courage to stand up tall and forgive yourself and others for the past and to understand that you didn’t waste those years. In that time, you gained a lot of wisdom and experience.

They are what brought you here to this moment and to these questions. They are what made you become more aware of your needs, your inner strength, and your willpower. They challenged you to face your past, your fears and your dreams all at the same time.

Didn’t you dream big like Izabelka did? Well, Izabela can do the same NOW, too.

I want you to take your time and focus on these points towards your own life-changing transformation:

  • Imagine yourself as a child. Remember the younger and childlike version of yourself who wasn’t afraid to dream big.
  • Look at who you are now and try to bring those childhood dreams to today’s picture of yourself.
  • Tell yourself that you are the same person, and you can still dream big. Tell yourself that you can do or achieve anything.
  • Forgive yourself for letting that little girl be forgotten and make her a part of your life now.
  • Understand that the past belongs to the past and NOW belongs to NOW— you are in charge.
  • The “adult” world didn’t make YOU happy so stop trying to make the “adult” world happy!

You can do it!

You are capable!

You are enough!

 

I am HERE. I am NOW. I am ME. ❤

Izabela (aka Izabelka)