“If you don’t believe in love, what’s the point in living?” -Ron Swanson
I remember the beginning of the journey to so-called ‘self-love’. The task was to tell myself twelve times the affirmation “I love myself”. To made this more profound and actually working, I was supposed to be looking at myself in the mirror, straight into my own eyes. All was supposed to happen after I woke up, so no other thoughts were in my mind yet.
The task was easy in its description, yet it was the hardest one I have ever endured. Or at least tried.
You may ask me, ‘did it work”?
‘Is this why you are now so self-loving?’
That task was extremely hard to perform and follow through. The entire process felt heavy on my heart. I became more resentful, and actually more resistant every day. The more I was repeating these words, the more disbelieving I felt.
- I started doubting the actual task and its effects.
- I was wondering how other women managed to go through it and get to that beautiful place of self-love.
- I doubted the affirmations itself, too.
Today, I believe that affirmations work, but only when they are aligned with your core desired values.
I believe that before we start repeating the affirmations, we need to evaluate our core desired values first. It is crucial to see and feel what you are actually craving the most… and what it is that needs your attention the most.
I started asking myself the questions, which I invite you to ask yourself today, too:
- What did you love doing as a kid?
- What do you crave in the life?
- What comes so naturally to you and it flows with an ease?
- What matters to you the most?
- What sparks your heart and brings a smile on your face?
- What do you stand for?
- What you can’t tolerate at all?
- What are you VERY CLEAR that you DO NOT want in your life?
The clear list of things I truly desired and things I knew deep inside of my heart that I never wanted to deal with was a start point to start talking to myself in a more kind, positive and loving way.
That core desired feelings allowed me to see what I wanted to commit to in my life.
The clear and pure desires were the foundation to set up the self-love on.
I knew what I wanted in my life.
I didn’t know HOW to get that, yet. But ‘how’ wasn’t important then. The most important thing was to rewire my mind onto the path of affirming beautiful words and beliefs to myself.
So, I started by telling myself:
‘I may not love myself yet, but I am on the path to living the life where accepting and liking my body will be natural and easy.’
‘I may not know how to nurture myself yet, but I am totally on the path to start with small self-care practices and see how they make me feel.’
I kept telling myself that phrase that ‘I am in the process…’ every day the entire day and everything was getting easier. I knew what I desired and now I was collaborating with my own mind.
My mind was very happy by these conversations, and all affirmations felt compatible with what I truly wanted in my life. I spontaneously was choosing better actions and steps throughout the day and that felt so amazing.
Constant dialog with myself that I was in the process of becoming the highest version of myself lightened me up and motivated to keep doing what I was doing.
More and more beautiful things started falling into place. There were bumps, but it became easier to walk through them. There were pains and tears, but acceptance was something that I was choosing then.
Today I know, that I would never ever change the trajectory of my own journey towards self-love. I know that the best gift I could ever give myself is true, deep and sparkly self-love I have to myself now.
I know that there is not a better gift than the guidance to self-love that I could give to anybody I care about.
*** How did your journey to self-love look like?
*** How does this journey look like right now?
You got this beYOUtiful! ❤