I am married!!!
I am so excited to feel that emotions of being loved, accepted, supported and admired!
I am so excited knowing that I am all of the above for simply being myself.
Wait, wait…. Let’s reverse the tape here a bit!
I believe that in order to have a wonderful relationship with another person, you need to have a wonderful relationship with yourself. Period!
Yes, you read this right!
But what does that actually mean?
Let me share a story with you before I explain more.
I was single for almost 6 years after my divorce. I say single, because most of my relationships didn’t last longer than 6 months. There was one for 9 months separated by over 2,000 miles. And there were even some for not longer than 2 months. It felt crappier and crappier every single time. The more I tried, the shorter they last. The more I was looking for the ‘ideal’ man, the more abusive and controlling they appear. Nothing was working as I wanted. And all I wanted was to be loved. Ok, loved for being fully and authentically myself.
And that was the key to the Love Code.
I wanted to be loved for who I was.
Let me repeat that, I wanted to be loved for who I was. To my surprise, all my boyfriends loved me the same way as I loved myself.
The Love Code is right here.
In order for you to be loved the way you dream about, you need to love yourself in EXACTLY the same way.
- You want to be treated like a queen. Do you treat yourself like a Queen?
- You want to be respected in public places. Do you respect yourself, at home and in public?
- You want to be told all beautiful compliments. Do you talk to yourself in a beautiful way?
- You want to be supported. Do you support yourself to be the best version of yourself?
- You want to be accepted for who you ar.? Do you judge and beat yourself?
- You want to feel safe and protected. Do you feel safe with yourself, your emotions and flows?
- You want that person to be loyal and trustworthy. Are you trusting yourself?
EVERYTHING COMES BACK TO YOU.
Whatever you ‘expect’ from the partner, it is something that you need to give it to yourself first.
Whatever you ‘need’ the partner to do for you, it is something you may need to do for yourself first.
Whatever requirements you need the partner to ‘meet’, it is something that may be missing within you and in your relationship with self.
Whatever the partner ‘shouldn’t’ be, most likely those are the triggers you may need to heal with yourself first.
You can’t expect another person to make you happy.
You can’t expect them to heal, repair and make shinier the things you are dealing with. It is your personal responsibility to create the most magical relationship with self, in order to attract the relationship with another person.
So, the end of my story is, that I stopped looking. However, I awakened, and I saw the pattern. There was something within me, on the outside of me, or radiating from me, that it was attracting men I truly didn’t want to date. I simply asked, ‘what is it, Izabela, that you need to take care of first?’
There was a lot of things and still is, because I am a human being, too. Broken – yes. But willing to repair it by myself first.
The moment things got clearer to me about how I loved myself, how I respected and treated myself, it was a moment when the magic happened.
“Relationships are a hard work.” – someone said.
They are, but truly that work is with yourself first!
Dig deep inside and find that key to your Love Code!
I want to share with you this simple task:
- Write down all characteristics you would love your future and even recent partner to have. Be super specific, I mean it, super-duper specific!!!
- Then read them one by one and ask yourself: “Do I give that to myself now?”
- If the answer is yes, great! I am happy to hear that! Truly!
- If the answer is no, mark it with a marker and move on to another one.
- Once you finish your list, look at it.
- How colorful is it? 30%, 50% or maybe 80% of the entire list?
Now, get to these colorful parts and start giving yourself first something that you expect from others to give it to you. It changes your life so much!!
Have fun with that!
And I really would love to see how you did with it. Share with me in comments below or on my social media (here and here). If you have any questions or struggle, PM me. I will be very happy to help you out!